on the couch
on the couch

It used to be that “overdoing it” meant trying to do an Olympic distance rather than a sprint triathlon. Or doing a half marathon instead of a 5k. I never would have dreamed that “overdoing it” could mean sitting on the couch for an hour.  But that’s what happened yesterday. I had what felt like the most modest of days.

  • I took a shower, got dressed and dried my hair.
  • I had two visits. I sat kind of propped up on the couch.
  • I sat up for dinner (total time = 10 minutes).

I didn’t feel like I was pushing it too much. But apparently it was. Apparently I can’t even lounge on the couch without paying a steep price. I’m back to my previous pain medication schedule. I have zinging, burning pains in my forearm and the hot-poker stabbing sensation between my shoulder blade and my neck. It really hurts to try and use a utensil, a pen, a toothbrush. (bending my neck + using my right arm is not a good combination) My stomach is feeling funky.

I’m discouraged. I’ve been trying to take it easy, really I have. But even the smallest of things, what feel like NOTHING, is still Too Much.

Wah.

I have been reading Jennette Fulda’s memoir, Chocolate & Vicodin, about her years-long battle with a terrible headache that would not go away. I am feeling like there is someone out there who understands. She started by thinking it would go away in a few hours, and then a few days. Starting with over-the-counter meds, then prescription meds, and injections, and MRIs and neurologists and acupuncturists, massage therapists and more. I turn the pages and I keep murmuring, I know. I KNOW. 

I am back to wanting the surgery. And thinking, if it doesn’t work, I just don’t know what I will do. But I will take that as it comes.

In the meantime, I’ll be trying another Alternative Treatment this afternoon.  We shall see.