liveblogging

Biggest Loser! Liveblogging!!!!

I’ve missed Biggest Loser for the past 2 weeks, so here I am again. This is the first time I’ve been liveblogging since minute one. Opening credits: My mom says, “Someone’s gonna get a heart attack there.” Heh.

Alison says, “Obesity is an epidemic. Your mission is to help stop it. You will do everything to help your fellow Americans in the next 7 days – you are going to Washington, DC. Go pack.” They jump on a Jetblue plane (YAY Jetblue!!). Rebecca wants to see Barack Obama. (so do I) Everyone’s excited because they can fasten their airplane seatbelts. Everyone’s very excited. Product placement: JETBLUE.

They’re in their exercise togs and now they’re charging to the Washington monument. Hi, Alison! Jillian and Bob tell them they’re going to White House. Wooooooooo! They’re at the Jefferson Memorial. They are going back to individual teams now. No more teams. Rudy’s psyched. They’re all pretty psyched. It’s good news so far. Shay is still the only person in the 400s. She has 2 lbs to go.

Pop challenge: Public workout at the Washington Monument. People need to get other people to get exercising. They need to pass out little stickers with their names on it. This pop challenge starts….. NOW! This looks so freaking fun. People are looking kind of dubious. The people are following people down the sidewalk: “Do you want to want to work out tonight?” It’s frustrating. Daniel can’t find anybody. Amanda is CLEANING UP. People totally recognize her! “You’re the girl from the finale!” She’s got a bunch of girls. Rudy gets a bunch of guys. Hilarious. Allen is seeking out the fire station. He wants to find his brothers. The firefighters are like… um. But they come around.

Liz (the “old lady”) is working on charm and guilt. Tracey is bullying people into taking off their Amanda stickers. People are thinking of changing to the Daniel team. They KNOW him. Ha ha ha ha! Amanda’s group is changing colors and going to Daniel team. They’re all turning into politicians!

OK, it’s time. People are lining up. The firetrucks are there! The firefighers have come through! OK, I’m tearing up. Let’s just hope there’s no FIRE in DC tonight!! There are tons of people there. It’s a crowd. It’s pretty cool. Alison says it came down to ONE VOTE who won: It’s between Liz and Allen! Who knew? The old lady brought it! How the heck did she DO that?? You go girl!

Next, they bring up Bob and Jillian. Crowd goes wild. It’s exciting. Bob is pumped. He thinks he’s a rock star. Jillian walks through the crowd and yells at everyone. They freaking love it. She’s yelling at a lady in tangerine clothes. They’re kickboxing. Bob is so psyched. They’re doing mountain climbers! They’re speedbagging. It’s super cool, actually. They’re doing planks! My favorite! How could would it be to do this every day. I actually love the idea of having daily workouts at the Washington Monument. Bob is standing on a fireman.

Liz gets to take her whole team to Subway and Jillian tells them to get Fresh Fit menu. O boy!

Next, the team goes to their Congresspeople. They talk about obesity among youth and children. Daniel shows off his size 54 pants that he wore in high school. They are impressed. We see him talking about his academics suffering because he’s unhealthy, depressed and having a hard time dealing with school. He wants better health education. I have to say this is a great episode. Jillian says that Americans have no idea of what’s in their food because if they knew, they’d never eat it. Rebecca cries about being a 245 year old 14 year old.

WOULD IT NOT BE AWESOME if Congress would stop taking money from food corporations? It would be awesome. But unlikely.

Okay, moving on to the Big Challenge. They need to survive four challenges, and the winner gets immunity. They first have to run a mile. Tracey starts having an out-of-body experience as she remembers her first day on the beach where she almost died. She’s scared. Liz gets to skip one challenge out of the three. But she says she wants to run. Liz says if she doesn’t get in the top six, she’s going to shoot herself for wasting her free pass. Mark, get set, gooooo…! to commercials.

They’re off and running. Allen and Rebecca take off. Daniel says he could run a mile in 12 minutes, but he’s in the dust now. Liz and Danny are fighting out sixth place. Shay and Tracey are duking it out for last place. Shay is trucking. She’s speedwalking at a pretty good pace. Go girl. They’re all flashing back to Day one, when they were dying on the beach. Most of them are just doing great. Rudy is RUNNING. He looks freaking awesome. GO LIZ. I’m getting weepy now. Because I think, I see myself. GO DANNY. Tracey is jogging about the same pace that I do.

Finish line: Rebecca, then Daniel, Allen, Amanda. Liz DOES get sixth. Wahoo. Here comes Danny, Tracey. Flashback to her near death. She flashbacks on making out with her husband. It brings her in. YAY. Then here comes Shay at great clip.

OK, next challenge: They’re at the shadow of the Lincoln Memorial. They need to raise funds: billions of PENNIES on the steps. They need to race down the steps, pick up pennies, up the steps, put them in their bank. Damn. Pennies are hard to carry. Does Liz want to skip this one? YES. GOOD CHOICE I think. Only 3 of them get to participate in the next round. They take off down the steps. Rudy has nice big paws, so he can hold a lot of pennies. Can they put them in their shirts? Rudy is double-stepping. Daniel: “Rudy has banana hands!” More like shovels. Rudy fills his bank. Next spot goes to Daniel. Then it’s Allen vs Rebecca. Down to the wire. Alison is shrieking with excitement.

Bob says: when on vacation, run up and down stairs, then do tricep dips and other stuff.

Back to it: Rebecca wins it. Now it’s Liz, Daniel, Rudy and Rebecca competing for immunity. Part 3: US Capitol. Balance on a platform with a Pilates ball on their head. Hey, they’re all looking pretty cool and Atlas- like. Daniel is wobbling from the get go. Rudy is standing on his brick and having a hard time. Liz and Rebecca are looking pretty zen, but then Liz almost loses her ball. Daniel’s off. Three to go. Rudy struggles, his ball is going. Rebecca is like an absolute statue. LIZ is out. Rudy and Rebecca have the last challenge!

Final challenge: whoever takes 206 steps quicker, wins immunity. Hm. I think my money’s on Rebecca. She’s smaller and has better cardiovascular health. Up and down up and down. Rebecca’s in the lead. Unless she falls down, I think she’s gotta win. This is where you’re at a big advantage the smaller you are. Tracey remarks she’s like a rabbit, she’s like a typewriter. She’s full of metaphors tonight! Rebecca wins!

Next: they visit Michelle Obama’s garden and start picking veggies for the Prez. I am insaaaaaaanely jealous. Next, they take hte produce into the White House. Jillian is wowed. As am I. They start cooking up the just-picked veggies. They meet the top Was2679265 chef of the WH. They’re slicing basil, lettuce, making up a big salad. BOB IS WEARING A TIE!!!!!!!!

They’re eating a beautiful salad which costs $12 for all of them, and there are leftovers. OMG I am in love with this episode, and I repeat, SO JEALOUS. Hmm, maybe I should gain 300 lbs so I can go on BL and visit the White House? OK, I guess not. But still: I would be so stoked to be in that place. Eating veggies from Michelle’s garden? OMG!

Last chance workout! Jillian is happy they are not in teams anymore so she can torture everyone. They’re doing monkey walks down the sidewalk. Sprinting up stairs sideways, two at a time, etc, carrying Jillian.

Bob reminds them that weight loss sucks on vacation and they cannot let things slide just because they’re having a great time.

Jillian is training Tracey. She says, “It’s not secret I have not liked Tracey since Day one.” Wow. She says it is not about game play. She is trying to get T to changet her life. MAN, I love Jillian’s arms. Tracey is sobbing and says, “Jillian is one tough cookie. But she has got the biggest heart. It is HUGE.” I can see that. I’ve always seen that. Another shot of the arms. What I would not give for those arms.

Bob and Amanda are thrilled to be reunited. She’s sobbing about not going to prom. “She needs some extra attention, and I’m prepared to give it to her.” Um. I guess so. “I have faith in you honey.” Errrrrrr. Bob and Manda sittin’ in a tree… here we go. There is some major crushing going on here.

Weigh In: Rebecca goes first because she has immunity. She’s lost 4 lbs. She does a Snoopy dance. She’s excited to be headed to Onederland. Next: Shay is up. She wants to get to Threehundredland. She loses 9 lbs, down to 393!! Wahoo! She sways back and forth like a five year old. Cute. She’s so psyched to not be 400 lbs anymore. She’s bouncy. Next up: Tracey. She’s down 3 lbs. Not too happy. Daniel’s next. He’s just had two bad weigh ins (+1 and 0). HOLY CRAP. He loses 11! What is that!!! He says, “150 lbs ago, I didn’t have a NECK. My head just sat on my shoulders like a snowman.” Hee. Next up: Allen. He needs to lose more than 5. And.. he’s lost 9!! He is looking so good. (my heart is doing a little happy dance right now, seeing Tracey on the bottom!) Danny is up next. He needs to lose more than 7. WOWEE: 12! He does it again!! This is the fourth week in a row for his double digit losses. Woo! Rudy’s turn. He needs 7, he gets 9. It’s good! YEAH. Tracey is sending dagger-eyes at him. Liz’s turn. She’s worried. She needs more than 4. She gets: 3. Ugh. Aw girl. She takes it with equanimity though. Now Amanda is up. In order to beat Tracey, she needs to lose more than 3. And….. Commercial. Everyone is praying for her. She loses…7!!!!! She’s ecstatic. She and Bob run off to have victory sex. (whoops, sorry, I just lost it there)

So it’s Liz vs Tracey. And all I can say is, if these bozos vote off Liz I’m going to bang my head against the wall. Liz says she is not the person to ask for help. Liz, do NOT pull an Abby. Shay says she didn’t fight for it. Shay questions if she wants to be there. She’s fulla shit. Tracey gets up and sobs her face off. She sobs and pleads. Amanda thinks she’s apologizing. She doesn’t accept Tracey’s apology but she thinks Liz is a bigger threat. Oh gawd.

People, do NOT SEND LIZ HOME. The voting begins. Amanda votes for Tracey because she’s been betrayed twice. I like her being honest, and not saying “she can do well at home” or some such bull. Shay says she wants people to fight to be here, she wants to see passion. She votes Liz. What does she mean? She wants people to bawl their eyes out?? Danny of COURSE votes for Tracey, because he and Liz are secretly married. Daniel votes for Tracey! (I have to say this was a happy surprise) Rebecca votes for …Tracey. YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alison as much as says, her game playing has coming back to bite her in the ass.

We see the flashback of Tracey’s beach collapse for the fifty-millionth time tonight. She says the sad person she was is gone. But unfortunately the psycho person isn’t. Oh well. She goes home wearing a bright purple dress. She resembles a giant grape. (hissssss!) A helicopter is inexplicably taking her home. The last time she did this, she was being medivac’ed out. She reunites with her purple family.

Next: OH MY GOD. ANOTHER freaking flashback to the beach scene. And holy cow, she looks totally amazing. She looks super buff. That is impressive. She’s running that mile and looks great. She ran it in 11:22, which is way good. Well good! I’m happy. She’s back where she belongs and will not be torturing the other contestants any more.

Next week: looks like Shay is biting the dust.

November 4, 2009 4

Liveblogging Biggest Loser

The contestants join Alison for a giant wheel of silver topped platters. The teams are going to be Blue vs Black. One person will get to pick the teams. Rut-roh. There’s a golden ticket under one of the silver platters, and the person who gets it gets to pick who are on the teams, and who gets to choose the trainers. There are various goodies and baddies under the other platter lids. People who want to participate will step forward. Dina is the first in. Rudy. Liz. Amanda. Shay. Rebecca. Allen. Danny. Coach Mo. Danny. Tracey? Of course. The only person who is not stepping up is Abby.

Rudy spins first. He gets a huge piece of chocolate cake! It is exactly 1,000 calories. AGH. He has to eat it. Num num num. Next is Rebecca: chocolate donut, 280 calories. It gives her witch teeth. Allen: chocolate cupcake! 100 calories. He says, “Sweet.” Enjoys himself immensely. Danny: GIANT cupcake with sprinkles. 780 cals! Yikes. Here comes Tracey. Coach Mo says an evil wind is blowing and he’s not the only one to feel it. HOLY CRAP, SHE GOT THE GOLDEN TICKET! Everyone is just blown away. People are shocked. They think she is a witch for sure. People are gasping and freaking. Coach Mo is sure there is voodoo going on. “It’s not natural. It’s supernatural.” Wooooooooooooooooo…..

Amanda is sobbing. She needs Bob. Dina and Rudy do not want to be separated. Dina feels she can’t count on anybody without Rudy. Shay says, “people are about to go crazy” as they head toward Tracey and their new fate. Bob and Jillian learn about what’s going on and they are appropriately horrified. Tracey is grinning a psychotic grin.

Tracey wants to train with Bob. Bob looks glazed. Jillian is bummed she will not get to pound Tracey within an inch of her life. Next: Daniel goes to Jillian, Mo goes to Bob. Shay goes to Jillian. Tracey gets a few compassion points for putting them together. Allen goes to Blue. Then Abby. Liz is starting to cry. Tracey puts her on the blue team. She’s sobbing that she needs Danny. She puts Danny on the black team. Danny wanted Bob and Liz. He is devastated. Liz: “it kills my soul and makes me mad as all get out.” Amanda is crying because she won’t have Bob. Rebecca goes to the Blue team. She also breaks up Dina and Rudy. Niiiiiiiiice. That’s some very unhappy campers for ya.”

Liz: “She wants to win, she’s gotta do it at home.”

Bob hates the Black vs. Blue. He needs a big guy to beat up, and it will make him feel better. He’s going after Rudy. Jillian is after Amanda. She wants to beat the crap out of the black team. They’re puking. Jillian comes out to inspect her puke and make sure it’s wet. ???? Ugh. Liz: “I have an agenda and my agenda is for her to go home before I do.” Liz freakin keels over on the treadmill. Ack. Lizzie’s down. Red as an apple. She says grimly, “I’ll live.”

She says, “My head’s on straight. Hell yeah. I got an agenda.” She wants immunity.

Dina hates the plyometrics stool. She doesn’t want to jump. I LOVE the stool. I love jumping up on stuff! So funny. Jillian says it makes your butt smaller. Cool. Dina walks out. Rudy asks, “What’s stopping you from doing it?” Dina doesn’t know. She can’t believe in herself. Rudy gives her a personal training session with Coach Mo looking on. I love the Blue Team training the Black team. Rahooo!

Bob takes blue team to the grocery store. Of course they get some Jennie-O turkey products. We had some Jennie-O turkey chili tonight! Product placement from my very own house. They make wraps with some yummy roast turkey.

Next: black team heads up a hill. Shay says black team is the underdog, but they have bigger hearts. Alison: “good players help themselves, great players help each other.” It’s a relay race… where they are carrying one of their teammates. On a platform. They are playing for… videos from home. Tracey and Abby have to sit out.

Dina does not want to be on the platform but she does not want to be carried by others. Blue team carries Rebecca. Black team is carrying Dina. Rebecca says it is not like Cleopatra, eating grapes. Instead she is sweating and trying to hold on for dear life. They splash through mud. Amanda loses her mud in the shoe. Dina has to pick it up! She’s psyched. Blue team is starting to lose steam. Second mud pit, o boy. Blue team wins. Liz is happy but is still out for Tracey’s blood.

Holy crap. Rebecca gives her video to Dina. But Dina can’t take it because she has to get on the platform step on her own. She has to do it for herself. Blue team watches their videos. Of course, they cry. Tracey’s husband says he sleeps on the couch because he doesn’t want to be in the bed without her. He says, “Pain is temporary, pride is forever.” Is he going to be proud of her evil backstabbing ways?

Liz goes in to see Danny. She wants Danny to watch her video with her. But it’s HIS VIDEO! She switched her video for him. She is such a freaking peach. His whole family is losing weight: his wife and parents. I’m crying over Liz. He feels like a new man who can run a marathon. (watch what you say dude, they’ll make you do it)

Last chance workout. Jillian wants to build her team to work together. They’re pushing each other on these rolling platforms. Boy do I wish I was on that black team. Partner carries. Daniel’s all “yes ma’am!” Bob doesn’t like the team thing. He takes them to 24 hour fitness. They do step class with weights, lunges. I want to take that class too! Jillian is doing trust falls. Big fun!

Time for Dina to face the platform again. The whole team is on her. Jillian is wincing. What is the deal here? Jillian says everyone has their One Thing they can’t conquer. She says, “I have mine.” I am DYING to know. What is Jillian’s one thing that she can’t do? Very curious. I have a lot more than one. Jumping rope. Riding a bike in traffic, or on hills. Anything involving a ball.

Weigh In: Tracey loses 7. Nobody claps. Coach Mo loses 6. Allen loses 7. Rudy loses 8. Rebecca loses 7. Liz: 8. Go girl! Black team goes up. Abby loses 5, which is not shabby, but she is not happy. Dina loses 6. Amanda loses 6. Danny loses 10 and is off all his meds! Daniel loses 11! Go guy. He’s awesome. Shay is the last one up. She needs 8 pounds. She loses… SIXTEEN! Holy crapola!

Blue team has to choose one member of the Blue Team. NO BRAINER. Coach Mo is ready to sacrifice though. I can’t believe Liz voted for Mo!!!!! So did Rudy. And Tracey. And Rebecca. I can’t believe it!!! No way could I do it.

DAMN. Coach Mo goes home. I can’t believe it. He’s doing great. But you know? I do not agree with that vote. At. All.

October 13, 2009 1

Biggest Loser: Season 8, Ep 3 LIVE BLOG

Surprise from Alison! “In life, success comes down to your choices.” Decision 1 that could change the entire competition.

Would you rather: have your trainers, or an advantage of this week’s weigh-in? Hmm. They will still have access to the gym, but they won’t be trained by the trainers. Two pounds, or the coaches?

Well I can tell you, for me it’s no contest. I’d take the trainers no question. Everyone’s looking at each other. Pink girls say, they need the advantage because they’re smallest. Tracey crosses the line. Coach Mo is like, NO. They’re all looking at her. Sean: “What are you doing you crazy woman?” Coach Mo is totally bummed. They are the only ones who took the two pounds. (and Mo didn’t even want to) OK, good luck!

Tracey is crazy. “I’m here to be the Biggest Loser, I’m not here for giggles!” Believe me, I’m not giggling.

DRUMS OF DOOM. The trainers interrogate everyone about who took the 2 lb advantage instead. They all deny it. Jillian finds out it’s Tracey: “Not the brightest bulb.” HAH! So true. They want to get inside Tracey’s head. She starts crying immediately. “I was scared. I just got here and I don’t want to leave.” What will happen with Coach Mo? I feel so bad for him. Coach Mo is looking sideways at the whole thing, feeling totally mad and screwed.

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Dr. H comes on to talk to Abby who has shin splints. My husband (WHO HAS NEVER SEEN BIGGEST LOSER) says “I know him! We trained together!!” THEY WERE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!

(excuse me while I lie down and fan myself) Is that nuts?!?

OK, I just missed Abby’s sob story. And everything about the shin splints. What did he say? Husband: “Hey, he’s looking good!” I can’t get over this craziness. Commercial break. “Yeah, he’s a nice guy. He’s a serious doctor!” No kidding? Really? Wow.

OK. Back to the show. I’ve recovered. Bob tells us (in secret) that he is not feeling hopeful about her injury. He says that working out with injured people is something he can do. He tells her to get in the pool.

Back to Alison, who is looking spiffy in black leather. TEMPTATION TIME. She asks, Would you rather: … or control this game? Ah. One person from each team will weigh in. The winner of the temptation gets to choose. The winner will control the entire weigh-in. They line up in front of silver trays. They lift the silver domes. It’s not catfish (as Liz wants) – it’s a cupcake. They’re like, Come ON.

To win the temptation, they have to eat more cupcakes than anyone else. Oh jeez. They have ten minutes. Some of them smell it. Lick it. Alison comes through with a big tray with more cupcakes. Ohh, there’s a black curtain. They can’t see each other. Liz hopes that Danny is not eating a cupcake. He is. Sean is shaking his head. “I want to take a cupcake and rub it all over my body.”

You all know the marshmallow experiment? This is a BL version of that. Exactly.

Alison yells out, “Someone is eating a cupcake.” People’s eyes start popping out. Tracey loses it. She’s stuffing cupcakes in as fast as she can. So is Antoine. Sean is dumfounded. “You better won.” The winner was: Tracey. FOUR cupcakes.

Husband: “Tracey has impulse control issues.” Hee. He’s a funny little sidecake sidekick. Tracey now feels sick and hates herself. AND she now has the power in the weigh-in. Coach Mo whispers, “What were you thinking?” They all now know she is certifiably insane.

Next morning: Bob says, “I hope nobody did anything stupid.” B and J say, “Who cares about this game? WHO in the world would’ve done this?” Tracey raises her hand. Jilian is about to put her first through her forehead. She’s punching her first. Jillian hisses, “I HATE WASTING MY TIME TRACEY, it PISSES ME OFF.” She’s about to throttle Tracey with her bare hands. Jillian is going ballistic. I love her so much. “You ignored what I told you and you threw it away.” Jillian: “She is Bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.”

(Daughter: “I like how when she’s mad she starts quoting songs.”)

They go to the gym. I am crying for Mo. Bob” Game players get fat again. Sorry, that’s what happens.” You said it, dude. Sean is worried about Tracey’s power in the weigh in. Instead they all kick ass in the gym.

Coach Mo is watching what everyone is doing. He is taking instruction by watching what other people are doing. Jillian offers Danny a choice between sledgehammer and kettlebells. He chooses sledgehammer. He says it burns his muscles to the core. He’s been through the sausage grinder. I believe him. Now he’s upending some massive tire that looks like it belonged to Paul Bunyan. Jillian laughs diabolically, “Would you rather have chosen kettlebells?”

CHALLENGE TIME: Alison looks cute in a straw hat. “Today’s winner will get something that is better than … anything. The winner gets immunity.” OK this is where Tara would have smoked it last season. Not so sure who is really the strongest/fittest at this point. Daniel? Hard to say. They need to get 500 lbs. They can carry 10 lb weights or 25 lbs weights a shorter distance. Julio, Mo and Allen only need to carry 250 since they are individuals.

They start. Green team seems to be doing good. Pink team rocking. Pink team is looking like Tara. “I’m used to eating pizza, not climbing hills!” says pink girl. HA. Yup. Green team Allen (the firefighter) has a real advantage here. Yeah, he’s been pulling hoses and things. GO ALLEN. I like his bad firefighter self. HE WINS IMMUNITY. Yahooooo!

The people who didn’t win keep going. They’re full of fire. Go Shay. Go Daniel and Sean. You guys rock.

Last chance workout: Bob and Jillian are totally focusing on the girls because they think Tracey will be sending them home. Liz is afraid. Pink Amanda says, “Tracey told me she’d never write my name down.” Tracey says, “I haven’t thought of a strategy yet. But there will be one.” Shay: “Every day is a last chance for me.” She’s on what she calls Jacob’s Ladder from Hell. She started out not being able to do 20 seconds, and now she’s up to six minutes. That rocks. Sean says, “I don’t think a puma could do this much.”

Note to self: Never tell your trainer, “I’m tired.” Jillian says “I’m the bad parent. So be it.” She’s all in Dina’s face. (is that her name?) “You can choose to do it, or you can choose to quit.” I love the chorus of doom. GO DINA. She runs like hell. Jillian: “There you go. Really solid.” What I would not give to hear those words from JM!

Bob is all over Amanda and she’s like I can’t! I can’t! She does it. He counts down. Then, “Don’t ever say you can’t do anything. Pisses me off.” He stomps off and she slumps and sweats on her treadmill.

OMG! Ray LaMontagne singing on a dog commercial! Trouble! hee! (O MAN I love this song) It’s an adorable commercial. Oh it’s for Travelers Insurance. Now Cat Stevens! Singing “If you want to be you be you” for My Touch phone. LOVE the music. OOH Now it’s the Jim and Pam from The Office commercial! Best set of commercials all night.

Back to the show: Daniel goes to Tracey to ask for mercy in the weigh in. Tracey: “The pressure to think about this is driving me crazy.” Too late for that, girl. You are already crazy. The pink girls go and meet with her. They want Rebecca to go on the scale.

Coach Mo is trying to stand up for Tracey – he is a real gentleman – and Jillian is saying that T is full of shit and that Mo needs to look out for himself because she is sure not going to do it for him. Everyone’s shocked.

Weigh in: Green team loses 9 lbs total. Which is great at this point, esp since Abby was injured. Julio: loses 7. Not too shabby (1.87 %). After this, Tracey rules on whose weight counts. I am not quite sure how this will go. She chooses Liz over Danny. Brown team: they each lose 4. (1.62%) Blue team goes up, Rudy and Dina. Tracey picks Rudy. He needs to lose more than 7. He loses…..TWELVE. Whoa. Tracey looks perplexed. Rudy has lost 54 lbs in 3 weeks? 3 percent. Pink team next. They expect her to pick Rebecca. She makes a psycho smile. Cut to commercial.

Oh man I LOVE THIS commercial. Morgan Freeman, sea turtles and the Moody Blues?! What could be bettter?

Back to the show. Tracey picked: Amanda. Pink team is pretty much ready to kill her. She needs to lose more than 4 lbs. She loses: FIVE. Good going girl. 2.08%. It’s red team’s turn. Tracey chooses Sean. His eyes bug out. He needs to lose more than 7. He puts up a prayer. He’s lost six lbs, while Antoine lose 11. Sean is crushed. I feel so sad for him. Orange team is up. Tracey picks Shay, which goes totally against what she talked to Daniel about. She is betraying people right and left. If this was a prison, Tracey would be sliced up with a razor blade in her sleep. Shay does not lose the amount she needed. She’s devastated. Daniel gives her a beautiful pep talk. Jillian says this is one of the nastiest things she’s ever seen on the show. “This is gross.”

Shay is below the yellow line. Now Tracey chooses herself. She needs to lose more than two pounds. Everyone is praying she doesn’t make it. She loses…

Commercial. Agh. But at least it includes an awesome Mike Morelli Jennie-O commercial. Go, Mike and Ron. For anyone who thinks BL “exploits” people, ask these two guys. Do they feel exploited, or do they feel like they’re now going to live instead of die?

Back to Tracey. She needs more than 2 lbs. She lost… ELEVEN POUND. WTF? And Coach Mo lost 1?

Nobody is happy for her. Dead silence. Peoples’ mouths are hanging open. “It’s hard to notice there’s no applause,” says Alison. They’re staring daggers at her. Coach Mo says, “isn’t that a good thing?” She’s lost more than 5%. Nobody looks at her.

The red and orange teams are below the yellow line: Shay and Sean. Jesus.

Shay is sobbing about hating herself. Sean looks utterly miserable. Antoine and Sean are awesome beyond belief. They are going to sacrifice themselves for her. I am ready to bust out bawling. Sean says, “Tracey, you did some crazy stuff this week but I still love you.” He points at Shay. “You can’t go home. YOU have to stay here.”

So it’s obvious what’s going to happen. And all I can say is, Tracey better pray for mercy. I would never want to be in her shoes. Here comes the voting. Everyone is, predictably, voting for Antoine and Sean, while sobbing while expressing their utter love and admiration. Tracey is bug-eyed and whackadoodle. She’s trying to justify herself but it’s ridiculous. Antoine is a freaking hero. He’s so awesome. Sean is also a great dude. I will be so sorry to lose his fantastic one-liners. All I can say is, Shay better not turn nasty. She has a little streak of gossipiness I did not like last week. She better live up to this gift.

Where are they now? Sean is down to 324. He’s lost 120 lbs. Go kid!! He’s got his little kids. He looks a lot better. He’s speaking to groups of youth. I love him. He says he can now run without losing his breath. Really guy? That’s impressive. KEEP IT UP.

Antoine — has lost 105 and now weighs 262. He looks HOT. He is super buff! He is taking kickboxing! He looks fantastic!!!!!!!!!! Now he’s bringing flowers to Alexandra from week 1. I have to say they’re kinda adorable. They’re jogging together! They’re spooning fruit into each others’ mouths. They’re kayaking together. Awwwww!!

Next week: Tracey gets some kind of injury. The screen says: KARMA? (Dr. H., my hubby’s buddy, breaks the news that she can’t exercise.) She says, I’m not finished!!!! Let’s hope you are, Miz Crazy.

September 29, 2009 4

Liveblogging: Biggest Loser, Season 8, episode 2

The cable on our television is not working right. I’m running around the house with my computer, trying to find one that works. Only one does, the one that my mom is using to watch baseball. I ask her if I can change channels and she nicely obliges. Darn. I missed the first 11 minutes. Bob is telling Danny not to cry. He’s collapsing in a heap in the gym. I think I missed something: the first challenge?

Now commercials. Retinol. Neutrogena tone correcting. Do I need that? I have age spots. Damn advertising? “Plug into your surrogate.” You could not pay me enough to see this movie with Bruce Willis.

OK, we’re back. Dina and Rudy are pouting because they have not lost 10 lbs. Bob tells them to stop tripping. CHILL OUT. She juts her lip out. Not sure she can do that. Rudy says, “The stress is killing you.” Yup. Rudy gives her a big pep talk.

This ‘150 lb thing’ – week 2. I have no idea what they are talking about. Jillian meets them in the kitchen. Uh oh. I sense a Product Placement about to happen. Yup. Ziploc Easy Zipper! You can WRITE on them! Woooooo! Make twelve servings and you can stand them up in your refrigerator! Open up the pocket at the bottom and they STAND UP. I’m getting goofy here. The contestants are blown away by this technology.

At the hospital: Coach Mo goes to visit Tracey, who keeled over last week. WTF is up with her anyway? Let’s find out. Coach Mo is lonely and nervous. I’m worried, too. Flashback of her passing out, her eyes rolled back. He’s worried she may not remember him. But she squeeeeals when he enters and he tells her their purple team has survived. She’s overjoyed. He is such a nice guy. He wants to relieve her pressure. She is LUCKY to have him as a partner. Still no explanation of what happened to her medically.

“This challenge is so huge.” I wish I knew what they were talking about. Does it have to do with burning calories? They’re all at the gym at night. Shay is frustrated. EVERYone is working except Julio, who just went to the bathroom. It’s getting late. 10:39pm and they’re still working the cardio machines. Julio returns. They mumble at him. They don’t believe his “burn.” (# of calories) OH. Now I am guessing that if EVERYONE burns enough for.. 150 lb loss? then they all get to stay another week without eliminations.

Tracy returns to the ranch!! She gets a nice welcome. “I’m weak but I’m here.” She cries. “It was a big deal. It was huge.” But … what was IT?!? She puts on her purple shirt. She meets up with Bob. He tells her she needs protein after working out. In fact, BL protein powder. Yum! It’s really good! Mikey! He likes it!

Shot of empty pool that we never see anyone using.

Shot of big kitchen full of food. Allison brings on chef… CUT TO COMMERCIAL. I predict it will be Rocco, judging by the shrieks.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE commercial! October 16, squeeeeeeee! I am so excited. I (heart) Maurice Sendak so much.

No, it’s not Rocco. It’s Curtis Stone. I’m shrieking too. He’s a cutie pie. He talks about portion size and challenges them to cut 3 oz of chicken. Pink girl does pretty good! He discusses baking, poaching, steaming, grilling and broiling. He debunks the health of salads that have cheese and buttery croutons. He discusses subbing veggies for pasta, ie zucchini for spaghetti.

Sean says “I swim in soda. My waterbed is filled with it, I love it so much.” Whoa. He says he drinks 2 liters a day. Curtis shows him a bowl of sugar that is contained in the soda. Sean swears he’s off it now. Everyone is staring at him with very very glum faces. They’re overwhelmed. They’re freaking out inside. Ali comes in to give them their first quiz, to see if they retain anything Curtis said. Sean: “OH CRAP.”

Commercial: the guitar filled with milk. Hee hee. Love it. Car commercial. I HATE car commercials.

Quiz time: They need to answer 5/8 questions for a 15 lb advantage at the weigh in. They’re psyched. Let’s see these questions. OOH they have to eyeball a correct plate of portion size. Tricky. Purple team gets it! Now, name 3 weighs to cook without oil. GANG, look at my blog, I wrote it down! They get it. Guess the calories in the Caesar salad? 1010. WOW. Crap. That sucks. I know that these things are deceptive, but jeez. It’s a nailbiter, but they do answer 5 questions. The red guys say that an ice cream parfait has less calories than fruit with chocolate. Um, no.

Commercial: Pound for Pound challenge which is similar to Lose For Good. Good plan. Yoplait foil pink lids for breast cancer. Another good cause. Everyone licks their lids. But please people, WASH them before you send them in the mail! Ugh!!

Back to show. I have to say, this first hour was kind of ho hum. Now, it’s group challenge time. I like these cooperative instead of competitive challenges. Everyone needs to go across a balance beam onto a raft in the water. If someone falls in, it’s over for everyone. Each balance beam is smaller than the next. However, there is a prize for each stage. First raft: 5 lbs. third raft: phone calls. (here come the tears) Fourth raft: 20 lb advantage to their total goal. Can they do it? I have to say, I am dubious.

Tracy is freaking out. She’s shaking on the first beam. The beam is shaking like a freaking earthquake. They all make it to the first platform. WHEW. This is really big for them! The second beam is narrower. Here they go. Oh man. Abby is wibble-wobbling. They’re all talking at her. And then a scream: ABBY! and… commercial. Agh.

Commercials: Fame the movie opens on Friday. Can it EVER beat the original Fame? I think not. But I’ll probably watch it just to see.

Back to the beam. OH Abby made it. Everyone is over except pink girl. They did it! Awesome. I know this is not easy. The next platform is for the phone calls home. It is super narrow. Sean is talking about his pregnant wife and trying to get over. THEY MADE IT. I have to say, I’m tearing up at this point. Can they make the last one? They’re pretty stoked. But the beam is only six inches wide and these are big folks. YEAH!!! They made it all the way. They rocked.

I love this kind of challenge because they DID work together as a team. I wish they could all be like this.

Empty pool shot, Danny’s strumming his guitar in a folky soulful way, as we see everyone’s phone calls home. Wahh! Aww. Julio talks to his Mami. Hijo, como estas? Oh how sweet. Te queremos mucho. Awwww. Everyone’s crying. Me too. Oh man. Danny talks about his daughter saying “I want to have a big belly like you daddy” and started gaining weight. Sean finds out his wife is having a daughter. Pass the Kleenex! Tracy tells her mom she climbed a mountain, and two butterflies were following her. LORD HAVE MERCY. At this point I am beyond tears.

Jillian and Bob are strategizing how to get the team to lose 115 lbs. They decide to gang up on Julio big time. Bring in the big drums. Tunnel vision, Bob and Julio. Jillian yells at everyone else. Julio seems to be doing exactly what Bob asks. GO. Julio says he does not want to be below the yellow line again. I realllllllllly hope that everyone gets to stay with no eliminations. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Bob says “Little Jillian weighs 115 lbs.” Hm! Rudy pulls Jillian AND Bob across the floor on their butts. They’re laughing their heads off. It’s nice to see them laugh in that gym for a change. I have to say, everyone is stepping it up. Nobody’s wimping. They all look good. Go team.

Jillian says that exercise is like truth serum. They’re doing therapy during the kick ass workouts. Shay says, while doing pushups, she has to let go of her mom. Bob says, “Tell me you deserve to be happy.” She’s totally broken down sobbing. I’ve done this during workouts before, no lie. Sometimes I’ve bawled and snotted all over a workout mat. I recognize this. Bob eyeballs her: “This is your life, and what are you gonna do with it? I am gonna make sure you Find. Your. Happiness.” He says she is the biggest candidate for BL and deserves to be happy. He hugs her sweaty self.

Weigh in. Jillian says Week 2 is historically hard. Julio is feeling bad bc Alexandra left last week and it caused a rift in the house.

Please please, let them all stay. Can’t they all stay and just base the grand prize on the weight loss? I’m such a marshmallow.

OK, pink team goes first. These girls are at the biggest disadvantage because they’re the smallest ones on the show. They lose a total of 10 between them. Eyes of horror. Everyone’s appalled. I’m not surprised and not appalled, because I didn’t expect these two to lose more than that. Hopefully the 400 lbers will be able to make up for it. Purple team loses 19 lbs. Coach Mo is showing some muscled pecs! Woo! Here come the big boys of the Red team. Sean and Antoine, you can pull good numbers. Another 19 lbs. The big boys boogie. They look pretty cute. Green team up: Abby and Allen. 21 lbs. Wowee people. “It works. Watching your diet, counting your calories, MOVING.”

That’s what I do love about BL. That it’s about the basics: diet and exercise. It’s not about pills (Jillian pitch notwithstanding) or surgery, the easy way out. Black team loses 22 lbs. Go Liz and Danny! Blue team loses 22 lbs. Woo hoo! Dina and Rudy are happy. Julio gets up and needs to lose more then 3. Shay is wishing him a bad number. I don’t like that. Everyone has a bad face on… uh oh. COMMERCIAL. Ack.

Ah thank god. 19 lbs. Shay is shaking her head like, I guess I was wrong. I guess so! GOOD GOING FOLKS. Nobody’s going home! Thank goodness.

Daniel is down to 293 lbs. He’s looking adorable. He feels great. He says he’s never going back and I believe him. He’s going to be this season’s Mikey!

Next week: Looks like they decide to try a Week Without Trainers. B & J not pleased. She says one word: “Bananas.” Which are my all time least favorite food. Hmm.

September 22, 2009 4

Liveblogging The Biggest Loser

So I have no idea what to expect from TBL tonight. My daughter (who is 2 times zones ahead) texted me and said it was “crazy.” Crazy good, crazy bad, I don’t know. So here goes.

Helen recaps the decision to send Shanon home. She questions herself as a mother. I don’t. Mama, you did the right thing.
Music of doom. Pop challenge: black and blue shirts -the teams are going to reconfigure. I don’t understand Sione’s attachment to Bob. Ooh the winners get to choose trainers. WHO ON EARTH would choose to work with Bob? Psycho yoga man.
Challenge: up and down, 100x in the mud. They love mud wrestling! Kristin will win, ha. 🙂 Kristin FLOPS. I love her! I can tell you these up-down things are damn hard. I’ve done a version of this (sans mud) with my trainer, all the way down and then leaping up. It’s hard. Tara wins. She’s bawling in the mud. I’d be bawling too. Sometimes these exercises are really emotionally draining. I’ve burst into tears more than once after finishing a real killer.
I have to say I really don’t understand the concept of this team thing on this show.
Wow, NOBODY is getting what they want. Sione is such a sad little hangdog.
Sione, Jillian is going to push you a millionx more than Bob. You have no idea how much better this is going to be.
Mikey has a great attitude, and J is pushing him SO MUCH.
Wah wah wah wah. All the guys are crying. Cue the violins!! Now the cheesy vocals. BAD.
Bob, be a man. Be a professional.
STOP WHINING PEOPLE! You know, I love my trainer. I adore my trainer. But he needed to take some time off and he handed me off to someone he trusted. (his own trainer) and guess what? Trainer #2 was freaking AWESOME. I learned new great things. It was tremendous.
They’re trying not to laugh their faces off at Jillian’s Ziploc product placement. Hah.
Bike challenge. I would SO FAIL at this!! It’s like “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?” (about the dance marathons of olden days)
Favorite quotes so far: “My ass is on fire.” “Uh huh, it will go numb, don’t worry.” HA!
Cue the Gladiator music!
Wow. Mandi wants to throw in the towel! BLACK TEAM, SAY NO!
Aw Sione is not a quitter. Blue team is bummmmmmmmed.
“the reason we are all here is that we always quit before, we didn’t finish what we started.” YEAH.
One minute left! This is very exciting. Ha, Helen’s still going even though they counted to zero.
GO BLACK TEAM. Yeahhhh…
I love how the two teams are hugging each other.
More tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!

My response overall: this was a good show. I got all choked up AGAIN when Sione talked about not quitting. I can remember my earliest days of quitting in the face of a physical challenge. I was on the high school track team. Originally I was supposed to be a sprinter, doing the 220m (1/4 mile) but like EVERYOne wanted to do the 220m so they switched me over to the 880. Which is just a brutal, horrible killer, of having to really pump out for two entire laps rather than.. half a lap. So many times, during a meet I would end up dying somehow at around 1.5 laps; I’d twist my ankle, or get injured, or throw up or pass out or god knows what. But I was so terrified of losing that I just took myself out, over and over. That was a very bad precedent to set. However, I do not remember ANYbody being there or encouraging me to keep going, so I never did. It was very lonely. I didn’t last too long at track, maybe 2 years max.

February 25, 2009 0

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