The cable on our television is not working right. I’m running around the house with my computer, trying to find one that works. Only one does, the one that my mom is using to watch baseball. I ask her if I can change channels and she nicely obliges. Darn. I missed the first 11 minutes. Bob is telling Danny not to cry. He’s collapsing in a heap in the gym. I think I missed something: the first challenge?

Now commercials. Retinol. Neutrogena tone correcting. Do I need that? I have age spots. Damn advertising? “Plug into your surrogate.” You could not pay me enough to see this movie with Bruce Willis.

OK, we’re back. Dina and Rudy are pouting because they have not lost 10 lbs.  Bob tells them to stop tripping. CHILL OUT. She juts her lip out. Not sure she can do that. Rudy says, “The stress is killing you.” Yup. Rudy gives her a big pep talk.

This ‘150 lb thing’ – week 2. I have no idea what they are talking about. Jillian meets them in the kitchen. Uh oh. I sense a Product Placement about to happen. Yup. Ziploc Easy Zipper! You can WRITE on them! Woooooo! Make twelve servings and you can stand them up in your refrigerator! Open up the pocket at the bottom and they STAND UP. I’m getting goofy here. The contestants are blown away by this technology.

At the hospital: Coach Mo goes to visit Tracey, who keeled over last week. WTF is up with her anyway? Let’s find out. Coach Mo is lonely and nervous. I’m worried, too.  Flashback of her passing out, her eyes rolled back.  He’s worried she may not remember him. But she squeeeeals when he enters and he tells her their purple team has survived. She’s overjoyed. He is such a nice guy. He wants to relieve her pressure. She is LUCKY to have him as a partner. Still no explanation of what happened to her medically.

“This challenge is so huge.” I wish I knew what they were talking about. Does it have to do with burning calories? They’re all at the gym at night. Shay is frustrated. EVERYone is working except Julio, who just went to the bathroom. It’s getting late. 10:39pm and they’re still working the cardio machines. Julio returns. They mumble at him. They don’t believe his “burn.” (# of calories) OH. Now I am guessing that if EVERYONE burns enough for.. 150 lb loss? then they all get to stay another week without eliminations.

Tracy returns to the ranch!! She gets a nice welcome. “I’m weak but I’m here.” She cries. “It was a big deal. It was huge.” But … what was IT?!? She puts on her purple shirt. She meets up with Bob. He tells her she needs protein after working out. In fact, BL protein powder. Yum! It’s really good! Mikey! He likes it!

Shot of empty pool that we never see anyone using.

Shot of big kitchen full of food. Allison brings on chef… CUT TO COMMERCIAL. I predict it will be Rocco, judging by the shrieks.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE commercial! October 16, squeeeeeeee! I am so excited. I (heart) Maurice Sendak so much.

No, it’s not Rocco. It’s Curtis Stone. I’m shrieking too. He’s a cutie pie. He talks about portion size and challenges them to cut 3 oz of chicken. Pink girl does pretty good! He discusses baking, poaching, steaming, grilling and broiling. He debunks the health of salads that have cheese and buttery croutons. He discusses subbing veggies for pasta, ie zucchini for spaghetti.

Sean says “I swim in soda. My waterbed is filled with it, I love it so much.” Whoa. He says he drinks 2 liters a day. Curtis shows him a bowl of sugar that is contained in the soda. Sean swears he’s off it now. Everyone is staring at him with very very glum faces. They’re overwhelmed. They’re freaking out inside. Ali comes in to give them their first quiz, to see if they retain anything Curtis said. Sean: “OH CRAP.”

Commercial: the guitar filled with milk. Hee hee. Love it. Car commercial. I HATE car commercials.

Quiz time: They need to answer 5/8 questions for a 15 lb advantage at the weigh in. They’re psyched. Let’s see these questions. OOH they have to eyeball a correct plate of portion size. Tricky. Purple team gets it! Now, name 3 weighs to cook without oil. GANG, look at my blog, I wrote it down! They get it. Guess the calories in the Caesar salad? 1010. WOW. Crap. That sucks. I know that these things are deceptive, but jeez. It’s a nailbiter, but they do answer 5 questions. The red guys say that an ice cream parfait has less calories than fruit with chocolate. Um, no.

Commercial: Pound for Pound challenge which is similar to Lose For Good. Good plan. Yoplait foil pink lids for breast cancer. Another good cause. Everyone licks their lids. But please people, WASH them before you send them in the mail! Ugh!!

Back to show. I have to say, this first hour was kind of ho hum. Now, it’s group challenge time. I like these cooperative instead of competitive challenges. Everyone needs to go across a balance beam onto a raft in the water. If someone falls in, it’s over for everyone. Each balance beam is smaller than the next. However, there is a prize for each stage. First raft: 5 lbs. third raft: phone calls. (here come the tears) Fourth raft: 20 lb advantage to their total goal. Can they do it? I have to say, I am dubious.

Tracy is freaking out. She’s shaking on the first beam. The beam is shaking like a freaking earthquake. They all make it to the first platform. WHEW. This is really big for them! The second beam is narrower. Here they go. Oh man. Abby is wibble-wobbling. They’re all talking at her. And then a scream: ABBY! and… commercial. Agh.

Commercials: Fame the movie opens on Friday. Can it EVER beat the original Fame? I think not. But I’ll probably watch it just to see.

Back to the beam. OH Abby made it. Everyone is over except pink girl. They did it! Awesome. I know this is not easy. The next platform is for the phone calls home. It is super narrow. Sean is talking about his pregnant wife and trying to get over. THEY MADE IT. I have to say, I’m tearing up at this point. Can they make the last one? They’re pretty stoked. But the beam is only six inches wide and these are big folks. YEAH!!! They made it all the way. They rocked.

I love this kind of challenge because they DID work together as a team. I wish they could all be like this.

Empty pool shot, Danny’s strumming his guitar in a folky soulful way, as we see everyone’s phone calls home. Wahh! Aww. Julio talks to his Mami. Hijo, como estas? Oh how sweet. Te queremos mucho. Awwww. Everyone’s crying. Me too. Oh man. Danny talks about his daughter saying “I want to have a big belly like you daddy” and started gaining weight. Sean finds out his wife is having a daughter. Pass the Kleenex! Tracy tells her mom she climbed a mountain, and two butterflies were following her. LORD HAVE MERCY. At this point I am beyond tears.

Jillian and Bob are strategizing how to get the team to lose 115 lbs. They decide to gang up on Julio big time. Bring in the big drums. Tunnel vision, Bob and Julio. Jillian yells at everyone else. Julio seems to be doing exactly what Bob asks. GO. Julio says he does not want to be below the yellow line again. I realllllllllly hope that everyone gets to stay with no eliminations. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Bob says “Little Jillian weighs 115 lbs.” Hm! Rudy pulls Jillian AND Bob across the floor on their butts. They’re laughing their heads off. It’s nice to see them laugh in that gym for a change. I have to say, everyone is stepping it up. Nobody’s wimping. They all look good. Go team.

Jillian says that exercise is like truth serum. They’re doing therapy during the kick ass workouts. Shay says, while doing pushups, she has to let go of her mom. Bob says, “Tell me you deserve to be happy.” She’s totally broken down sobbing. I’ve done this during workouts before, no lie. Sometimes I’ve bawled and snotted all over a workout mat. I recognize this. Bob eyeballs her: “This is your life, and what are you gonna do with it? I am gonna make sure you Find. Your. Happiness.” He says she is the biggest candidate for BL and deserves to be happy. He hugs her sweaty self.

Weigh in. Jillian says Week 2 is historically hard. Julio is feeling bad bc Alexandra left last week and it caused a rift in the house.

Please please, let them all stay. Can’t they all stay and just base the grand prize on the weight loss? I’m such a marshmallow.

OK, pink team goes first. These girls are at the biggest disadvantage because they’re the smallest ones on the show. They lose a total of 10 between them. Eyes of horror. Everyone’s appalled. I’m not surprised and not appalled, because I didn’t expect these two to lose more than that. Hopefully the 400 lbers will be able to make up for it. Purple team loses 19 lbs. Coach Mo is showing some muscled pecs! Woo! Here come the big boys of the Red team. Sean and Antoine, you can pull good numbers. Another 19 lbs. The big boys boogie. They look pretty cute. Green team up: Abby and Allen. 21 lbs. Wowee people. “It works. Watching your diet, counting your calories, MOVING.”

That’s what I do love about BL. That it’s about the basics: diet and exercise. It’s not about pills (Jillian pitch notwithstanding) or surgery, the easy way out.  Black team loses 22 lbs. Go Liz and Danny! Blue team loses 22 lbs. Woo hoo! Dina and Rudy are happy. Julio gets up and needs to lose more then 3. Shay is wishing him a bad number. I don’t like that. Everyone has a bad face on… uh oh. COMMERCIAL. Ack.

Ah thank god. 19 lbs. Shay is shaking her head like, I guess I was wrong. I guess so! GOOD GOING FOLKS. Nobody’s going home! Thank goodness.

Daniel is down to 293 lbs. He’s looking adorable. He feels great. He says he’s never going back and I believe him. He’s going to be this season’s Mikey!

Next week: Looks like they decide to try a Week Without Trainers. B & J not pleased. She says one word: “Bananas.” Which are my all time least favorite food. Hmm.