I’ve pretty much decided that in next week’s 5k/Half Marathon event, I’m going to do the 5k instead of the half-M. A few days ago I was really struggling with this decision. It felt like a downgrade, a defeat, yeah… a failure. But now I’m feeling like it is just the healthy and realistic thing to do. So what, I was able to do 9 miles last week. This week I had a real decrease in my training, due to a spontaneous visit to the Frozen Tundra to visit my girl who was in need of some mama-time.
Also, I had originally signed up for the event to celebrate the birthday of a friend. SHE has decided to do the 5k. I feel like, what’s the point of doing it WITH her if I’m not going to be WITH her at all. I’d rather be with her for a 5k than separated by hours if I do the half.
ALSO, I missed one session of my solo performance class yesterday, due to aforementioned traveling, and if I do the half marathon, it means I’d have to meet next week’s class too. That’s too much.
Do I sound defensive? Or like I’m making excuses?
A few days ago, I did not feel so great about this decision. I feel like it’s fine to adjust one’s goals UPward (ie to do MORE than you planned) but there is something discouraging about adjusting them “downward.” But that’s nonsense. I feel so relieved and glad and feel like this is the right thing to do.
Sure, it would have been a happy moment to say “I finished a half-marathon!” but I can do that another time. If I want to. And I may or not get the urge to do this at some other point.
For me, it was more important to be with my daughter this weekend. It’s going to be more important to hang with my friend, and go to my class, next weekend. I’m glad I’ve come to peace with this and that I’m not beating myself up over it.
Now I feel like I can really focus on my training for the Team Penguin relay for the Oakland Marathon on the 28th. Right now, I feel like I’d like to be able to run my whole leg of the relay (7.5 miles, or 10K). Last week, my 10K training day felt pretty icky. My feet ankle hurt and I was pretty discouraged. However, today I ran (not so far, about 1.2 miles) in 18 degree weather, in UGGS (LOL! I forgot to put on my running shoes and didn’t realize it till I was 10 minutes out) and even though it was a short distance in freeeeeeeeeeeeezing cold, it actually felt great. So who knows. I’m gonna do my best. We’ll see how it goes.
No such thing as failure, right, friends??