The next three weeks are going to be the most pressurized, intense weeks of my entire year. I run a camp, that takes all year to prepare for, and it takes place the last week in July.
I’ve been doing this for six years now. For the first several years, I viewed this period of time (actually, all summer) as an opportunity to completely throw in the towel and give up on any remnants of fitness or healthy eating. It was really just an excuse. I’d cancel my trainer, eat like there was no tomorrow, and it was just stress piled on stress. It felt inevitable. When camp itself came, I would literally inhale the crazy carbs they served: sloppy joes and mac and cheese and tacos and hotdogs and french toast and ALL OF IT, and I believed the more I ate, the calmer (read: more anesthetized) I’d feel.
Last year was the first year that I tried to get through the summer without my customary meltdown. It went pretty well and I managed to get to my Lifetime status at WW in the summer. But the ghosts of past camp seasons are always around to haunt, and it’s so easy to just succumb to the pressures and just say “I give up!” for now.
I really don’t want that to happen this year. This year is the biggest camp in our whole history. We’re in a brand-new site that is giving me HIVES with their incomprehensible difficulties and insane little rules. So I am just prime for all sorts of falling down.
Today we had a staff powwow to assess all we need to do in the next 2 weeks. It is a LOT. And either it will get done, or it won’t. But just making that list almost put us all over the top.
One of my co-workers ordered a sandwich with extra bacon. I suddenly thought, what can *I* have?? I deserve this! I need something extra-special!! All the old song and dance. I spied a triple-decker Havarti grilled cheese on the menu of my favorite takeout place. THAT’S what I want! I thought. But I was deep in a task which kept me busy for a while longer. During which time I got to really think about what it was that I wanted.
I wanted to eat something that would not stress me even further, or put me to sleep, or make me feel bad about myself. I thought. I needed PROTEIN. So I went to the Thai place and got a cup of chicken coconut soup, and some chicken satay skewers. I didn’t touch even a grain of rice. I had the cucumber salad and a little dollop of peanut sauce. Then I was able to go back and face the rest of my afternoon (and evening, as it turns out) of work.
It’s going to take EVERYTHING I HAVE to remain conscious, and present, and healthy, during these next weeks. If I can emerge August 1 in a good place, I will be very grateful. Cross your fingers for me. Or leave me lots of comments for strength. ❤
foodfoodbodybody 
July 13, 2010 at 12:50 am
It’s hard to not turn to food when times get tough for me as well. My tips for you- pack lots of healthy snacks & remember how hard you have worked to get to goal. 🙂 stay strong!
July 13, 2010 at 1:04 am
“it’s not the _____________, it’s the feeling we want from the _____________” ___________ = cookies, ice cream, pizza, cheese sandwhich. NONE of them are bad…except when they are trying to induce a feeling of ‘unwinding, deserving, stress reduction, avoidance, comfort’
I say, make a list of things that make you feel good. I don’t care what it is, dancing naked like Thing Two from Mrs.Fatass. Make a list…or even better make little cards and a ‘feel better then food’ box and draw one out. Only enable them to be five-10 minutes and when you’re feeling like your gonna ‘shove your face in a bucket of ice cream’ go to that box, committ to the activity and move on.
also, don’t deprive yourself. just don’t use the _______ to fill the ________.
July 13, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Thank you Mish. So true.
July 13, 2010 at 2:15 am
You can do it. Be good to yourself because you are important.
July 13, 2010 at 3:56 am
Oh, I love your commentors’ ideas.
You can do it!
July 13, 2010 at 8:42 am
You can do it! Remember to keep “you” as #1 and take the time, no matter how tired, to prepare! I find it’s 90% of the battle. Keep it simple and allow for little, little treats now and then.
July 13, 2010 at 9:16 am
You can trust yourself. Besides, your awareness is already engaged.
July 13, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Fingers crossing right now!
July 14, 2010 at 5:36 am
sending you thoughts of strength and reminders that you have my email should that strength waiver.
July 14, 2010 at 11:48 am
YAY you can do it! Thank goodness for being busy and having that extra bit of time to think it through.
That’s awesome that you run a camp… such an (ongoing) accomplishment.
July 14, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Great choice on the coconut soup. It looks DELICIOUS! Funny how we still seem to slip into that ‘reward’ mindset especially when the going gets tough. Way to stay on task and later inventory your nutritional needs!
I could NOT imagine running a camp. What a fulfilling (albeit difficult) challenge! One question, though (…yes, I’m ‘going there’…) what’s up with the camp menu?!
July 14, 2010 at 3:58 pm
What’s up with the camp menu? What do you mean? Well, the camp sites we went to in previous years had that typical camp-style super carbed food. Now the new place is more “gourmet” but with ZERO flexibility for the kids. Which means total disaster and stress. Anyway, the camp is actually a few miles from a Trader Joe’s this year so I am planning on stocking my own alternative foods in my room.
July 14, 2010 at 11:15 pm
It’s good there is a Trader Joes nearby (per your comment to the comments). I was there today and wishing that there was one in Boulder for my daughter since I saw lots of healthy quick and easy foods that would be great for a college student in her first house. Congratulations on the largest camp yet. Clearly the word is out that you and your co-workers create a great camp experience. Hope it is a fun week, not just a stressful one.
July 15, 2010 at 3:12 pm
Oh good luck! I can imagine that this would be a concern for you, but you’ve learned a lot in the past year and I think you should trust yourself to do the best for YOU!