Last night I was eating out with a bunch of parents with my kid’s sports team. We were at a huge pasta feed in prep for today’s race, that had been prepaid (ie the menu was set).  It was penne pasta in an amazingly delicious homemade marinara. Plus a salad with oil and vinegar.

Now I’m not any big pasta eater anymore, mostly bc my diabetes doesn’t tolerate it very well.  But I took about half cup worth and a bunch of salad. Three of the women at my table were not eating ANYthing. I was wondering if they were shunning the salad because… it had oil in the dressing?  They ordered off the menu and asked for a plate of grilled vegetables. In came a big plate of steamed carrots and broccoli, and then some grilled veggies. While they were delicious, I was like.. this is too much. I could almost palpably feel the anxiety of these (thin) women who didn’t want to eat anything.

After dinner I felt myself ravenously hungry for the first time in a very long time. Being around these women had made me SO nervous and wanting to eat, just out of being in proximity to them. Sitting with them made me want to order a huge plate of lasagne. I felt myself getting angry (at what, I am not sure) and I was completely off my “center.” It took several hours to settle down, during which time I didn’t eat, but I sure wanted to.

I had the feeling that they were doing the exact opposite of intuitive eating. It was like “fear eating” and I could smell the fear.

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