Now I know I have diabetes. But I’m not really doing anything differently until I have my first diabetes education class on Tuesday. I know that I’m going to have to start Testing on that day. (they told me to bring my little blood-testing machine) I know I will survive all that, but sometimes I get overwhelmed with thoughts of having to prick myself and draw my blood X number of times per day, like… for the rest of my life? I’m experiencing these last three days of somewhat ignorant somewhat bliss, my fingertips intact for a little while longer. I have to admit I am feeling some grief over this. But in the midst of this, I’ve also had some incredibly happy times.
The Springsteen concert on Wednesday was awesome. And last night my friend E and I went to the newly-refurbished incredibly beautiful Fox Theater to see… The Moody Blues!!! To say that it was a TRIP is an understatement. I don’t even think I could describe it in a way that would give it justice. Crazy psychedelic graphics, and hundreds of grey-haired hippies, pulsing flowers and floating clouds, and just… groovy, man. E and I had our mouths gaping in complete disbelief. Also shock that we KNEW 85% of the songs BY HEART even though we had not heard them in probably over 30 years. It was just… trippy. And way more fun than I’d had in a long time. It felt good to laugh and dance and be goofy.
My Couch-to-5k training continues to go well. This morning I wanted to get in a run/walk before WW and my friend M wasn’t available so I went with my trusty iPod and ended up definitely running more than my 2nd-week workout dictates. I’ve discovered that my PERFECT jogging tempo is to Cat Stevens’ “Wild World.” (la la la la la la) I really felt like I could have kept going a long time. But I had to go to my meeting and…
I lost another pound. That was a good thing. One more to TWENTY! I don’t think I’ve ever lost 20 consecutive pounds before. (just the same ones, over and over) I’ve weighed less than I do now, but after starting out at a lower weight, so I never lost that much.
In spite of the weight loss, I have to say that WW really turned me off today. The leader was talking about food substitutions, you know, to deal with still be able to eat our “old favorites.” And she said her favorite, most awesome thing was a Diet Soda Cake. I was like… wha?????? She said it basically consists of taking a box of cake mix (ie box of chemicals) and switching out the egg and oil for… a can of diet soda!! So it’s basically nothing but a chemical cake. I’m thinking, could ANYthing be more gross than that??
And it just kind of underscored my feeling about WW really just hawking prepared foods filled with crap. The idea made me wince: a box cake made with DIET SODA? Okay, I’ll stop ranting now. But ugh.
Yesterday I went to visit another friend who is one of the most fashion-savvy people I know. She is my personal “What Not To Wear” consultant. Anyway, she was purging her closets and gave me 2 bags of unbelievably COOL clothes! Including a very adorable Little Black Dress and a cute grey skirt. Now, I have not worn either a dress OR a skirt in probably 15 years, so to try these things on and not be repulsed beyond belief was a milestone that made me incredibly happy. And really nice jeans! And a plaid jacket with A BELT!! It’s probably been 15 years since I’ve worn a belt of any kind, other than a bathrobe one. 🙂
So, I’m carrying on. I’m hanging in there. Part of me is trying on the idea that maybe this diabetes thing could be some bizarre Gift-In-Disguise. It’s not going to let me off the hook. Which is what I really need.
foodfoodbodybody 
April 4, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Diet Soda cake? Now I love me some Diet Coke and don’t have the same “chemicals in food” avoidance that most people do, but that’s just nasty.
You know what we call it around here when you make cake with butter or oil? Bread.
WW’s been great for me in learning again what a portion size actually looks like, but we’re still seriously messed up as a country about food. It’s bizarre that wheat, corn, and soybeans can be grown, broken down, processed all to hell, and STILL be cheaper than fresh locally-grown produce thanks to subsidies to Big Ag. I know this sounds overly political, but you can’t make a change to your diet of this magnitude and have it not be political.
So I’m with you; I find the changes that WW asks you to make to be a little bit superficial. Of course, the reason is so that they can hawk their own overpriced wares.
April 5, 2009 at 2:51 pm
I have to say that I was turned off by WW as well and stop going. I do feel that I can do this on my own as I have some very good tools that I can use. I tried to avoid any unnecessary chemicals as well and diet soda was one of them. I haven’t had one in 36 days now and for me that’s a long time.
It seems like you are doing real well and the weight loss is an awesome feat that you have accomplished. Keep up the great work and I hope that everything works out well as possible with your diabetes.
Take care my friend
April 5, 2009 at 4:44 pm
as a WW veteran, i sympathize with your distaste for the food substitutions talk they like to give.
i get that you shouldn’t eat 2 tablespoons of full fat sour cream with your 1/2 cup chili or that you shouldn’t start gnawing on a hunk of full fat cheese. but let’s be honest here-reduced fat, low sugar items don’t taste as good as the regular stuff. it makes more sense to me to use the “real” stuff sparingly, eat desserts only on special occasions, and enjoy whatever you are eating to the fullest degree.
April 5, 2009 at 7:12 pm
You are an inspiration for sure! You should post “during” or “after 20 lbs lost” pictures in that little black dress.
April 6, 2009 at 2:05 am
I’m with you on some of the WW advice. One of my leaders went into some rhapsodic thing about a pudding that is made with fake sugar and god-knows what, and I’m thinking to myself, ‘this is some sort of eating disordered thing’, but having said that, the issue of tracking has really helped me be more concious of what I put in my body, and some of the tips on eating the more nutritious stuff first, not getting too hungry and anticipating challenging situations, like a really boring meeting at 4 PM where someone will be passing around gummy worms for a snack (yes, that is a real life example…and I ate a bunch!) have been usefull. I have also given up baking at home except for rare occassions cause it is too much of a temptation. I still struggle with the speed eating thing, and harbor a fear of DM, cause it does run in my family, and they all got it around the age I am now, almost 60.
Another food related observation; I noticed in Paris that most people are still quite slim by American standards, and I’m sure it is not mostly the diet…yes it’s true people don’t snack as much but fast food is pretty big there, it’s just a little different (OK a lot) but the saving grace is they walk everywhere. The average person there easily walks 2 hours a day, and some maybe more. Anyway, a lot of exercise allows one to get away with a lot, is my point.
I’m so glad you are taking care of yourself. I’ll try to follow along if you want to add me to the blog list.
April 7, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I agree with @dowhutnow that a LOT of our food is political. There is a reason that corn and soy are subsidized, but things like apples and carrots are not.
I also agree with @KnK that you should enjoy what you’re eating to the fullest degree, but eating a little of the full-fat or real stuff is better for you than eating the low-fat with lots of added fillers (read: fake stuff).
To @joellen: I lived in France for over 5 years and can say that they do walk a lot more than us Americans, but I would be hard pressed to find anyone that walked 2 hrs a day. Even in Paris.
The food they eat is a HUGE reason why they are slimmer, but I do agree there are other factors. Some being that their meat is NOT filled with hormones, there isn’t HFCS in everything, they eat foods in season, they don’t eat on the run, and they eat with pleasure (and without guilt), among some others.
Fast food is not as big there as it is here. Of course, they have it, but they don’t eat it as much as we do (by ANY standards), and again, even their fast food is different.
So though walking is a factor to their being slim, it is NOT the main and only reason. In fact, I am going to France in a few months & will report even further 🙂
To Susan: Glad to see that you’re really beginning to understand that there is a lot more to food & eating than meets the eye, and that a lot of these diet plans & clubs — though they can be helpful — are not always what they seem either.