So there are five people in my family: myself, husband, two daughters (one away at college) and my mother. She is Japanese-American, in her 80s, and quite attached to her white rice. For a long while, my husband was the only one who generally didn’t eat the rice (he’s been doing South Beach for almost 2 years, more or less). Then in January, after a big lunch with white rice almost threw me into a postprandial coma, and I started this New Lifestyle, I stopped. Every night at dinner, my mother would cook up a big pot of rice and then ask, with an undertone of shock in her voice, “You’re not having any?” But my younger daughter loves her rice and would always keep my mom company on the white-rice bus.
But younger daughter appears to be changing her food habits as well. I have not wanted to pressure her in the least, but she is entering the competitive season with her novice rowing team, and I notice she has begun preparing and making salads, and believe me, this is new for her. She’s eating differently overall.
So last night my mom made the usual pot of rice. My daughter declined, because I had also made pureed cauliflower which is our new stand-in for mashed potatoes. And suddenly my mother was alone with the rice. She BANGED the metal pot lid down on the counter and made us all jump. She was so mad. I think that this new diet is so so threatening and upsetting to her. People who don’t eat rice don’t deserve to be called Japanese, in her mind. The whole thing is intensely disturbing to her. She considers brown rice to be highly suspect and inferior (“hippy food”).
I was reading a profile somewhere (on the WW site, I think?) and a Latina woman was talking about how hard it is to deal with many traditional (Mexican I think) foods because to say no to certain things is like turning one’s back on one’s culture. I think that is what’s going on in our house.
It’s really hard when not everyone in a household is on the same page.
My mom is 86 years old. She doesn’t have diabetes. It’s totally fine if she has her white rice. But it isn’t totally fine with HER if we do not.
Sigh.
PS. If you ask me, the best rice these days is Free Rice, where you get smarter while feeding hungry people who really NEED the rice.
February 26, 2009 at 3:00 pm
That’s got to be difficult. I don’t have that issue now, but can relate when I was a kid. My mom was Danish and whenever we were in Denmark, my grandmother would cook her New Potatoes, that she grew herself as they had a little farm! My mom would have a fight with her mom because of all the food pushing almost everynight! It was tradition to have like 6 courses. I always gained about 15lbs as a kid each summer…
Culture IS an influence for sure…
February 26, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Oh I love brown rice, Not a fan of white though. I just don’t find it quite as tasty. I understand were you are coming from though. Some people do feel threatened when someone try to change there eating habits for the better. I don’t know why, but they are. Maybe because they can’t deal with change. I know my family , at least some of them, haven’t even talked to me since I lost the 110 pounds. It’s sad though but I am still the lovable me and maybe one day they’ll see that what I have done is for me and I just want to be healthier and happier, and I am. So don’t cave in. Keep doing what you’re doing because it works.
Love the idea of the cauliflower thing. I’ll have to give that a try.
By the way thanks for stopping by my blog. I love meeting new people and hope you stop by again. 🙂 Have a great day..
February 26, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Your family hasn’t talked to you since you lost 110 lbs? That is so sad!! What do you think that’s about? Is it that they have weight to lose that they don’t want to deal with? I think that’s just… really sad.
Yes, the cauliflower puree has saved us on many an occasion, since we do love our mashed potatoes and for me, mac and cheese. Using cauliflower instead has been a lifesaver!! (check out Kalyn’s Kitchen for amazing recipes)
February 27, 2009 at 2:37 pm
What a tough situation. How sad for your mom and how awkward for your family. Yikes! Families and food–the biggest challenge. I know that when I moved my 92-year-old mother to California from New Jersey because she was no longer able to live alone due to her dementia, feeding her was such a challenge. She certainly wasn’t interested in many of the healthy meals we cooked (tofu wasn’t her thing, and tempeh? Ugh.) But then we couldn’t give in to her eating chocolate morning, noon and night as she had been doing in NJ. Once we went out to dinner, and she ordered pork chops and mashed potatoes. How happy she was!! I felt guilty for not cooking her more meat. Thankfully, she liked fish, so I made that twice a week. It’s so important for older parents to continue their habits so that they can feel comfortable. How though to factor in everyone’s needs? Wish I had some words of wisdom. Looking forward to reading how the situation resolves itself as it always does.