February 10, 2009

Tomorrow I am going to a very fancy hotel in a big city for a conference with a ton of stimulation and a lot of friends and Famous People I Admire, for four days. So, the challenge is I am not going to be cooking my own food, there will be Social Situations from morning until night, I will be highly stimulated and distracted.

The GOOD news is I have the positive touchpoint of just having lost 2 lbs while on vacation in Hawaii for a week. If I did THAT, I can manage THIS, right? Right. I hope so. I am also very excited that this fancy hotel has an INDOOR POOL and two indoor TRACKS (one for running, one for walking?) and a big, big Fitness Center. I know the conference is going to be very compelling but I am pledging to go to that Fitness Center for a minimum of one hour a day.

The other very good news is that I am spending the final 2 days of my trip with my beloved daughter who has been THE most inspiring and helpful partner on this weight loss journey. She has also been working on losing weight, for different reasons than me, but just as critical and important to her life and well being. So she has been texting me her weight every morning, and this morning she even sent me a photo of her scale because it showed an extra-wonderful number. She has been with me through every downfall and every victory, cheering me on, sending me “helpful thoughts” (a la Beck) when I turn to sabotage or despair. It really makes me want to cry when I think about it.

I know I have not been the best role model for her. In fact, I fear that I am the one who got her into her own struggles with food and weight. So I feel like my only redemption is really to be her companion on this path to a better, healthier way.

Each of us has lost ten pounds since we last saw each other. I really feel like she is my long distance Biggest Loser “other half.” In fact we kind of pledged each other to be each others’ team member and partner, when this season of BL started. We both have a LOT at stake. We both need to lose weight for reasons that are very, very important to us.

Anyway, I cannot wait to see this girl. I can’t wait to see her confidence and her beautiful little face. I can’t wait to thank her in person and to get a boost in person. I am going to take her out for a fabulous, delicious and healthy dinner. She’s my hero(ine) in this journey.

So after my learning experience at the party, I got back on the wagon yesterday and did pretty well, food-wise. So yay.

But today I did something that was very unusual for me: I did a workout, BY MYSELF, and exerted myself a LOT. Normally, I only do these very intense workouts when my trainer is cracking the whip at me, a la Jillian Michaels. When I’m on my own, I tend to just.. walk. Sure, I walk a long time- often up to 90 minutes, but I’m rarely heaving and panting and wanting to fall down and cry. I just don’t do that to myself.

But today I went to the cemetery where my trainer often takes me, and I took myself through a workout that until now I have only do with him. It was a beautiful day. The cemetery is an awesome place to work out because it’s stunningly gorgeous, it’s free, and there are infinite ways in which one can push oneself physically. His favorite routine is to put people through a circuit that involves these verrrrrrrrry long stairs, and these steep concrete ramps. Just like with the hill, I decided to do the ones I hate the most. I did five flights of stairs, running, and five long ramps, also running (not fast, just little joggy runs). It was HARD. It was damn hard. I had my iPod, though, and made myself keep up with my music. (favorites: Prince’s “When Doves Cry,” Ferron’s “It Won’t Take Long” and Pure Prairie League “Amy”) When I was done, I was panting hard, red as a beet and sweaty. Which is usually how I finish my workouts with him, but NEVER how I am alone.

I came home and the scale showed me a happy number. 🙂

And: can I say that I’m excited because the Biggest Loser is on TV tonight. I predict that the Browns will go home.

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