Fear of the Dark

Originally uploaded by stuant63

I don’t know if I totally psyched myself out with that last post about 2009/2010. But the first couple of days of the year have not been what you’d call stellar.

I was doing great with my holiday period maintenance for WEEKS! Even last weekend after Christmas, all seemed to be fine. I was in my low range. But then suddenly, just in the past 3-4 days, my weight has been creeping creeping creeping up. I am now almost 5 lbs over my pre-Christmas low. This is NOT GOOD. Because I feel like I’ve been keeping things on track with my new BodyBugg, and eating reasonably. I wonder if it just took a few days? for the holiday indulgences to really register and yeah, SETTLE on my body. Ugh!

THEN, I started taking my blood sugars more regularly again. Guess what? They suck. Yesterday it was elevated. Today it was elevated even MORE. I’m going to be testing multiple times daily again to see what is up with that.

And I’m going back to the gym, yeah with all the hordes. I have to. My Saturday morning Nia class was cancelled so I am going to check out a Zumba at my gym later this morning. And then hit the machines.

I’m upset with myself. The mind is such a powerful thing! Did I psych myself into believing that 2010 would be a huge fail for me? Am I bringing that into reality?

Maybe what this is all about is a way for me to feel incredibly solidarity and compassion for all the folks who will be banging down the doors of Weight Watchers this month. I’m with ya, people. It’s a new start for all of us.

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Edited to add: I LOVE you guys. Thanks so much for all the great support here, and on Twitter. There’s nothing like community, is there? Well I just got back from the gym. The Zumba class was very high energy although a little too fancy-footwork for me. Not sure I will do it again. But then I did a high-level 30 minutes on my favorite cardio machine (I STILL don’t know what it’s called, but it’s a combo stairmaster + elliptical) and now I feel a lot better. And I just tested my blood glucose again, and it’s (whew) down to 84, so I’m very happy about that. Lunch was a nice zero-point vegi soup with some roasted turkey thrown in, with a clementine after. I feel satisfied, sweaty and clean, and 100x better. Whewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

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