eat, move, think, feel

Shock: CAN I Trust Myself? August 22, 2009

Wow. So I just got on the scale for the first time in a week. I was nervous. I was so nervous. In fact, I had worked myself up into a total lather, convinced that I had gained ten pounds while on vacation.  I told myself, it’s okay if you gained ten pounds. You’ll work it off. It will be okay. But really it would not have felt okay.

And guess what? I weigh exactly the same – TO THE OUNCE! – that I weighed last week. I couldn’t believe it. I had been telling myself all KINDS of crazy stories in my head. I was convinced it had all gone to hell in a handbasket.

It was an interesting exercise in trust. I did not trust myself. Not one bit. And I was completely insecure without my scale.

I couldn’t tell if I was eating too much or just right. (I never worry about eating too little, ha!) I did have birthday cake. I ate more cheese – fancy shmancy cheese- than ever.  I did have a lot more wine than usual. (normally my max is about one glass a week, and I think I was averaging more like one a day) I went out to eat. I didn’t exercise as much as usual. But I was “active.” (splashing around in the river, a bit of canoeing, some walking, and two runs)

I’m just sitting here right now going, “Huh. WOW.”

Can I reallllllllly trust myself?

Along these lines, I have signed up for an interesting site along with a friend of mine. Basically, it uses monetary incentive to stick to a goal. It’s called Stikk. Their motto is:

Having a goal is easy. Turning that goal into an accomplishment…THAT takes commitment. We know you’re ready, so Put A Contract Out On Yourself!

The concept is, you make a goal and then put a monetary value on it.  If you don’t reach your goal, your money goes to the charity of your choice. You can also choose an anti-charity, ie if you don’t reach your goal, your money goes to a charity that you vehemently do NOT support (ie Sarah Palin!). (I find that much more motivating)

I signed up and put my goal down as maintaining my weight for the next 12 weeks. The first six went okay, but can I really maintain for three more months?

They’ve been sending me emails for days, nudging me to report in on how my goal is doing. I was thrilled (AND shocked) to report that I’d actually accomplished my goal for this week.

I really have no idea how that happened.


7 Responses to “Shock: CAN I Trust Myself?”

  1. Yay! So happy to see that you maintained your weight!!🙂

    Maybe deep down you CAN really trust yourself? Yes you indulge in some yummy goodness, but you didn’t Overindulge in them!

  2. Gayle Says:

    Awesome job maintaining but I knew you would! Think I’ll check out the Stikk site too. Seems like a great idea!

  3. ernise Says:

    good for you! perhaps now you are beginning to build some trust into yourself.

  4. See, you CAN Eat Without Guilt🙂

    That’s what it’s all about…learning how to trust yourself and your body. Isn’t it amazing when you do that & relax, it all comes together with some ease?

    You’re really getting there & I’m SO HAPPY!!

  5. Kat Says:

    Congratulations on maintaining your weight while on vacation. That is a big accomplishment! I think we can trust ourselves, we just need to trust that we can. You are an inspiration to me.

  6. Hanlie Says:

    I am so happy for you, but I gotta tell you, I didn’t doubt you for a minute! Well done, Foodie!

  7. Shelley B Says:

    That is so awesome that you maintained – you DO know what to do, and are doing it!!! Great job!

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