I’ve spent the past several days hiding out in an emotional cave, licking my wounds and trying to turn my head around after the practice tri on Saturday. I pretty spent all day Sunday crying uncontrollably. I cried every time I thought about it.
Then I got an email from sports psychologist Michelle Cleere (who magically came into my life this month!) saying she really thought I could do the Olympic and that she would help me. I met with her on Wednesday which was immensely helpful. Problem is I have not been able to get back into the freaking water since then. Last night I was supposed to go with Lily and about a minute before heading out we had our 2nd earthquake of the day. Not a little one. Which led to freakout of her dog, ourselves and various family members. By the time everyone calmed down (sort of) it was too late. So today it’s do or die! I am eager to try out what Michelle suggested to me. In the meantime I am setting about making several dozen “YOU GOT THIS” post-it notes to put in all corners of the house.
What did she suggest? Well, both mental and physical things. One thing that came out when I was recapping the open water swim was that I was breathing with every stroke. When I’m in the pool, I breathe every 2 or 3. I was really aware of this in the open water, and TRYING to get myself to breathe less often, but it wasn’t happening. Michelle said that this changeup, physiologically could have added to my hyperventilation issue (just not having enough oxygen and having periodic “can’t breathe” episodes in between fine regular swimming). She recommended that I start practicing swimming with the “every stroke breath” technique in the POOL so that it is less of a stressful transition. Many people I speak to say that they breathe every stroke and sometimes this is just necessary in OW. I’ve watched some tri videos recently and the top people do seem to breathe constantly. OK .
In addition I am working very hard at thinking positively, about the great progress I made since the start of the season (when I could barely swim 2 lengths of the pool). I am going to do a long pool workout today, and then tomorrow a course preview swim practice with another triathlon training group (my team is doing bike run which will probably also be a big benefit, but I need to NAIL this swimming thing and soon). I am working at a ton of self-talk and how to deal with that huge “I CAN’T” voice in my head.
I can’t thank you all enough, you who posted and commented and emailed and sent me good vibes this past week. It has meant the world to me. It was a rough thing, but I’m ready to get back in it now and do what I can do.
In other news: Today is the day to sign up for the next season of Team in Training for just $10! Yahoo! I just picked up the phone (call 800-78-TRAIN) and signed up for a Yosemite Snowshoe Hike for February 2012. One, it will get me into the Triple Crown club at TNT (three separate sports) and I am all about these sorts of bling/reward things. I want to be a Triple Crown! Plus, what could be more beautiful than snowshoeing in Yosemite?
foodfoodbodybody 
October 21, 2011 at 1:32 pm
YOU GOT THIS? Yes, you do. Woman, you’ve already done amazing things and I know you’ve got it in you to do this thing here right now.
So THAT’S Yosemite? I must go there. It looks beautifullll.
xoxo
October 21, 2011 at 1:44 pm
Oooh! Come with MEEEEEEEEEE! In February!!!!!!!
October 21, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Yeah, Foodie! I’m with ya all the way in spirit.
October 21, 2011 at 2:36 pm
HEY! Want to do Snowshoe Yosemite with me?? Fun fun!
October 21, 2011 at 2:07 pm
PS As added motivation – if there are more quakes (noooo) and you’re in the water, you won’t even notice them.
October 22, 2011 at 1:23 am
Grif and I used to do OW swim in the American River. It’s a challenge! I think you’ve got to give yourself lots of credit for progressing to the point where you can even swim OW. Most people can’t, don’t and won’t! I love it, but it is a full-on challenge. Sometimes I’d get dizzy and would have to switch to a different stroke just to keep going. And when we finished swimming, we were exhausted. Anyway, I’m cheering you on from the bleachers.
October 22, 2011 at 5:04 am
So the past Triatholon was a practice? I was very confused. I thought I saw somewhere that it was a practice, then I got the feeling it wasn’t and I was very surprised that it (the real thing) was so soon, but it turns out it was just a practice? Sometimes being connected to people in so many different places leads to much confusion of information when there is not time (or the ability to concentrate) to stop and read it carefully to sort it out.
I am sorry you are having “issues”, but to be blut you ALWAYS have issues. You have the major freak-outs that would stop most people. MOST people would just throw in the towel, but you ALWAYS work through them and end up shining in the end so keep up with all of your “tricks” to get you through because it ALWAYS seems to be just YOU that doesn’t think you can do it. We (your fans) ALWAYS know that you can! Rah-rah-rah!!!!!!
And like you said . . . look how far you’ve come. I laugh when you say “open water”, because, I wouldn’t be doing that! RAH-RAH-RAH!!!!!
October 22, 2011 at 9:04 am
LOL. Ain’t it the truth- I always have issues! That’s me!
Yes, the tri last weekend was a practice set up by our Team in Training coaches. We did all 3 parts but it wasn’t an “official” race at all. Today I’m doing another practice but this will be just the swim part – but in the actual are we’ll be doing on Nov 6th. (<– real race day)
Thanks for the cheering and RAH-RAHs, Terre!
October 22, 2011 at 9:06 am
PS. Thinking a bit more about this “always having issues.” This is so true. I have struggled mightily with issues of all kinds for most of my life and I am feeling like now is the time to move past or through them. I’m tired of being defined by fears and limitations.
It’s 5:30am and I am ready to wriggle into that wetsuit again.