I’ve been all kinds of wiped out/off track/tired/disoriented since coming back from camp last week. I’ve been majorly “off my game” so to speak.
But I’ve been trying really hard not to let my inner Stuff get in the way of my outer Behavior. So even though I haven’t particularly been EMBRACING the idea of fitness or eating really well, I’ve been trying to do it Anyway. The “fake it till you make it” approach. And I think it may be working just a bit.
On Monday evening I went to the cemetery for trainer workout. I was sooo soo soooooooo not feeling it. But I felt like if I waited till I felt like it, I could end up not working out for weeks or more. So I went, and told myself I would go at whatever pace I felt like. It would be okay to be The Last One (my customary position during all of elementary, middle and high school phys. ed.).
I started out last. We were doing a 3.5 mile circuit up and down hills, at very fast racewalking pace. When I got there, I needed to go to bathroom BAD. But the cemetery public restroom, in the main building, was closed. Wahhh! Trainer told me there was a port a potty about halfway up the first hill. So I stopped there. The rest of the group kept going. Which put me at a good 2-3 minutes behind the whole crowd. Greeeeeeeeat. I gamely attemped to at least keep them in SIGHT.
I finally caught up with the last person right before the highest point. Then I figured it was my time to make up time. When we began the downhill stretch, I started slowly jogging. Surprise: it didn’t kill me. I told myself I’d keep jogging until I no longer felt like it. Surprise: I ended up passing everyone eventually, even the trainer, and ended up back at the starting point FIRST. Well, whaddya know.
I was glad I’d gone. I didn’t feel like any great endorphined ball of energy when I left, but I was glad I’d gone.
Yesterday I just worked all day. I didn’t work out at all.
Today, I went to my semi-private session at the gym. Trainer DJ was excited because he’d gotten some brand spanking new Ropes of Doom. All I wanted to do was lie on the floor and roll on the foam roller, but he wasn’t gonna have any of that. Me and my buddy ended up doing a ton of lungey things, then 25 Burpees (UGH!), more lunges with 10-lb weights (bicep curls into straight up in the air presses, while lunging/walking), then 50 raised leg butt lifts, then crooked pushups, then… he took the brand new Ropes out of the box. Shiny white! But not as long. But HARD! TOUGH! INflexible. Yow. They were truly killer. We ended up doing a totally kick-ass workout, in spite of my lack of oomph. Again, I did not leave feeling energized, but I was very happy I’d gone.
I feel like I’m beginning to get a bit of groove back. I ate vegetables for dinner tonight. I feel like I’m on my way back.
foodfoodbodybody 
August 5, 2010 at 6:33 am
Im a lot jealous of trainer dj.
and shall now call you STELLA.
get it?
maybe?
trashy read?
angela basset in the movie?
🙂
August 5, 2010 at 10:57 am
I love it! It does feel about 90% mental — just getting out the door. I am always always happy I went. LOVE faking my way through things, I also pretend I’m “training” for something rather than working out to lose weight, otherwise there’s no way I’d get out the door! Congrats, you rocked it! (In the cemetary too?? Bigger man than me!! I’d be scerred.) LOL
August 5, 2010 at 11:16 am
A while back I made itunes playlists specifically for when I thought I’d throw up in disgust if I heard anything “inspirational.” http://www.secondhelpingonline.com/?p=1195
Fake it til you make it is one approach, but let’s think of it another way: positive or negative, emotions can be an energy source. Why not use it as such? Angry or frustrated or unmotivated? Take it out on the ellipitcal/weights. Elated you made a breakthrough? Angry at an bf/gf? Etc.
All this taught me to use everything to its uptmost advantage. And beyond that, just knowing your back on the path you want is just as good (sometimes better) than actually being thinner/leaner/more muscular.
Rock it out! Ropes of Doom for All! 🙂
August 5, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Camp sounds like it was an incredibly emotionally-charged time, as well as a lot of hard work for you. Of course you’re going to be feeling out of your groove a bit.
I know what you mean by that “meh…but I’m happy I went” feeling after working out. I’ve had a lot of workouts like that this summer, where I didn’t feel elated…more like awkward and humbled. I think it’s because I had this little comfort zone, and I’ve had to be outside of that (some circumstantial and some chosen).
I’m trusting, though, that we can “fake it” until our groove returns, and that we can get said groove back! (Because the alternative? Pretty darn depressing to think about.)
August 5, 2010 at 3:55 pm
There is definitely something to be said for “fake it till you make it”. I have felt a little off my game too. I am working to get back into a daily routine and some days just tell myself to do it. Your workout last night sounds great!
August 5, 2010 at 5:44 pm
Aah burpees. Suddenly someone learned about those things at my gym. I was in kickboxing and a student told our teacher about them and how he wanted us to do them. She said she couldn’t due to an injury but we could. Since then, when we have substitute teachers, they try and make us burpee. I wont. For one, it’s a STUPID name. are we burping? Or are we a seed catalog? And plus, I’m pretty sure its not good for my knees. So I just jumping jack or whatever while others do it.
August 6, 2010 at 2:50 am
I started doing burpees in an evening class, after eating some dinner, and yes indeed that not only make you burp, they often make you want to puke. But that just makes them all the more macho. 😉
I used to hate and dread them so much. I remember when I could barely do 3 without crying and feeling really sick, so the fact that I can now do 25 is just… awesome.
August 6, 2010 at 5:09 pm
You rock, Foodie! I’m pushing myself to bike to the post office today. How nice it would be to simply open the truck door, insert the key, and push the gas pedal. But pedaling the bike (duh) is so much better for me.
I trust you’ll find your balance point with all that you’re going through. I’m glad you’re getting back in the groove.