Oh gosh. TOO much to say! This is going to have to be a speed blog.
Yesterday, day 3 of the challenge, went well. I ate all my fruits and vegies. I went to WW and am now officially 1 lb away from 30 lbs lost, AND my stated goal. I am really thinking about this whole “goal weight” thing. When I first started this journey in January, I truly did not think that a 30 lb loss was even remotely possible in this lifetime. I was hoping for maybe 10. Maybe 15, tops. I have not weighed this weight in almost twenty years, and while it is great, it is also a little freaky. I am not used to it. It’s a little bit strange.
Also, when I began this blog, I had very negative feelings about people who dieted while in their healthy range. I am now in my healthy range. But I really do not think I am dieting anymore. (was I ever?? That is up for debate) I am making choices every moment of every day. If those choices lead to further weight loss, then good (I think). If they keep me exactly where I am now, then fantastic. If those choices make me gain weight, I will make changes.
Like I said, I did not think I would ever reach this weight. So now that I am here, I am looking around and thinking, well?? Now what? I am aware that MANY people who are at my current weight and height feel very unhappy with themselves. They feel fat and want to lose 20 lbs. more. Me? I am far from “skinny.” I still have a pooch of a belly, and still have padding around my hips. I’m not svelte by any means, although much svelter than I was. Part of me is pleading with myself to STOP NOW. Part of me is curious about how much weight I could or will lose if I keep on going.
I guess only time will tell. The thing is, at WW you must state a “goal weight” much like declaring one’s major. I sort of arbitrarily put my goal weight down as 30 lbs. It’s in the healthy range. So it’s possible that I could get there in the next few weeks. (I’m less than one pound away) I am not sure it is a good idea or realistic to make it much lower. But… I don’t know. It’s weird.
I’m going to just see what happens. My goal has always been to “be healthy” and I feel healthy right now. Really healthy. So now I feel like any additional weight loss would be primarily for aesthetic reasons, which I have been rather vehemently opposed to. I supposed I COULD get healthiER. But what does that mean?? It’s something to mull over.
———–
Last night we went out to dinner to celebrate my daughter’s 15th birthday. We went to a great Italian place that serves family-style. We ordered lots of amazing and great food and I enjoyed every single bite. But I think the key word is bite: I only had about 2-3 bites or forkfuls of every item. Bread with olive oil dip, fried calamari (!!) with aioli, caprese salad (tomato and mozzarella), eggplant rollatini (breaded eggplant with ricotta/marinara), cracked crab, penne Carbonara (yes, with cream and pancetta! bacon!), and gnocchi pesto. Then we came home and had CHEESECAKE.
This meal made me so happy – so very happy – because I enjoyed it with absolutely no regrets. I didn’t feel guilty. I loved every single bite, savored every bite. I was a tad nervous when I got on the scale today but told myself that even a couple of pounds would be worth it. But guess what: I weighed exactly the same as yesterday.
Yay.
foodfoodbodybody 
June 1, 2009 at 12:55 pm
What a great post…really made me smile! Congratulations on your healthy habits and happy birthday to your daughter 🙂
June 1, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Great post, all-around!! As for what to do now that you’ve reached a healthy weight? Many of the folks I know from eDiets make maintenance as important as weight loss. And they also come up with new goals that aren’t necessarily related to weight loss, but rather fitness.
June 1, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Great job on getting healthier! However “weight” is just a number and, in my opinion, should not be one’s goal. A healthy body fat percentage combined with lifestyle choices to support it is the true goal. Then “diet” becomes something you never have to do.
June 1, 2009 at 1:41 pm
guilt free is definitely the way to go! Congrats on the weight loss! Wow! Such an inspiration to all.
June 1, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Great job on both being so close to your original goal, and feeling healthy.
Big props for enjoying your daughter’s b-day party. I feel sorry for people who get so hung up on their diets that they forget some days are about family, friends, or just someone else. If you can’t let a little lose and enjoy without guilt, then you aren’t in the right mindset for permanent loss. Way to go!
June 1, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I don’t think you can really determine what your “goal weight” should be until you actually get there. I started off with a very vague idea that I wanted to lose 80 pounds, which would get me to the top of the “normal” BMI range for me. But I had no idea if that was realistic (holy cow! probably not, I thought) and I don’t think the particular number was all that important. I actually ended up losing 105 pounds (that was 3 1/2 years ago), but I even went up and down from there until I thought I felt the best I could. My “goal weight” changes from time to time depending on what I’m doing and how I’m feeling. Even more importantly, my overall goals and motivations have changed – it’s not (and never really was) getting to a particular number on a scale. Now, I concentrate on how I feel. Racing (congrats on the 5k, btw!) helps to keep me focused now.
My biggest advice is to do what you know is right for yourself. Don’t worry about what others think. For example, aesthetics isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it can come along with a lot of other more important benefits. Don’t sabotage yourself now.
Good luck. Your feelings aren’t at all unusual; I had them too. It takes some time to figure it out. It sounds like you can.
June 1, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Yes! I so get that! I’m all for being conscientious 99.9% of the time, and having the odd holiday or birthday meal that breaks all the rules! That sounds delicious!
June 1, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Yes! I so get that! I’m all for being conscientious 99.9% of the time, and having the odd holiday or birthday meal that breaks all the rules! That sounds delicious!
BTW I love your blog!
June 2, 2009 at 9:58 am
You have made so much progress – both outside and INside – that I’m amazed and proud of you 🙂 You have really grown as a person, woman, mom, wife, friend, blogger….and as a woman who is living a HEALTHY (and happy!) life.
Look at all you’ve accomplished these past months — lots! And you have more than you ever thought possible. Amazing.
And Happy Birthday to your daughter….and I’m so glad you were able to TRULY enjoy it without guilt!! That’s what life is all about…being healthy but truly living in the moment & enjoying it. What a wonderful role model you are for your daughter!!
June 2, 2009 at 2:08 pm
i loved your post about enjoying and not regretting! we should all aspire to eat, savor, and leave it when we are done with the enjoyment of the food.