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moom_balance01O.M.G.

I am so so very excited about all the new WW stuff happening. Yesterday I was offered YET ANOTHER meeting!! (so next week I will be leading THREE) I have so much to do!! I have to take the online training course for At-Work meetings, run to Office Depot and get some things in which to Haul Stuff Around, and answer a ton of emails and make a bunch of phone calls and PREPARE for yet another meeting topic (yeah, this happens every week!) and make flip charts and and and!!

PLUS I have to find time to eat, work out, be with my family, teach THREE online writing classes which are still ongoing (my other life), including teaching for THIS incredible project, edit and publish my section of a literary magazine, host a fundraiser this afternoon for a mayoral campaign in my city, get some writing of my own done (other than this blog) and tomorrow I am participating in the World’s Longest California Roll Sushi Challenge. Wheewwwwwwww!!!!!!!

I did go to a Nia class this morning. Which helped my sanity quite a bit. But as I was leaving the class I got a text from my spouse who reported he was in the E.R. after falling off his bike and injuring his shoulder and HIS HEAD. (I tried very hard not to flash on Natasha Richardson at this moment). LUCKILY he had a negative brain scan but he is now in a sling with a torn shoulder ligament and some dislocation. Owie.

It’s all good. It’s all wayyyyy good. But when it rains (even goodness) it pours, you know?? Zipping off now……….

 

11

The Company Party

Yesterday was WW’s local “Celebrations” party in which staff were given awards for various things, people got to meet and mingle, and there was some delicious food with nice little signs that detailed the ingredients and points-values. How considerate!! There was a nice spinach salad with dressing on the side, and a variety of wrap sandwiches, and some trays of 1-and-2- point cookies that had been custom baked. Wouldn’t it be nice if ALL restaurants and parties did this… gave you all the information you needed to make great choices?

Anyway, it was fun. I’ve actually never worked for a large company before, so it was all new to me. People got awards for working for 5, 10, 15, 20, and (really!!) 25 years! Which was pretty amazing. There were also awards given for Diamond Leaders, who are in the top 20% of leaders nationwide as far as having their members lose weight and sticking with the program until they reach Lifetime. Then they gave out awards for people who had helped members lose 100 lbs or more. Leaders told some very moving stories; one woman lost over 200 lbs this year. Then everyone (including me!) got gift certificates from Lands End, which was pretty nifty! I had no idea that was coming, so it was nice.

After the party I zipped over to the airport, but I didn’t really need to zip, because my flight was delayed over an hour. I’m accompanying my spouse while he’s at a conference.  At the airport, I was sooo tired and sleepy and bored, and I realllllly wanted a Starbucks hot chocolate for some reason, but thanks to Twitter, I got talked down and made it onto the flight without doing anything regretful.

I have set up a new Twitter account (not my Foodie one) that I’m going to use when I start leading meetings. I am toying with the idea of using Twitter to support my members. I can’t even express how much my Twitter friends have helped me stay accountable, and feel supported, over and over again. (case in point last night)

Coincidentally, I received a very long and detailed email from the Powers That Be over at WW this morning, explaining what we can and cannot say or do regarding WW online. I guess that includes this blog. OK, it DOES include this blog.

So, according to rules, I am stating for the record,

“I am a Weight Watchers employee writing about my personal experience on plan. The views expressed are my own and do not reflect the views of Weight Watchers.”

I hope I’m not being desrespectful when I say that this additional statement from the memo made me laugh out loud: if you choose to write a blog posting about how much you enjoy shopping with your daughter, your relationship with Weight Watchers would be irrelevant and you would not need to disclose it to the community.

Ha! But seriously, it was good that they clarified their stance. Which makes it easier for me.

SO. This hotel has a very very nice fitness center. I was all set to roll on down there this morning. I have my sneakers, my socks, my ankle brace, my iPod and armband, and my sports bra. And that’s IT. I forgot my workout clothes!! I knew I was in too much of a hurry yesterday. So I am going to have to take a walk over to the mall (20 minutes each way, yay) and pick up some exercise duds. I really wanted to workout before breakfast, but that unfortunately did not happen since the mall does not open until 10. I had a beautiful healthy breakfast! And now it’s 9:40, time to head out! Have a great weekend, people!

5

The Stress of Shame

I almost lost it last night. I was scheduled to be a receptionist substitute at a “traveler” WW meeting; ie one in a remote location, not an official WW Center.  At those locations, they use all manual/paper tallies to track everything, instead of the groovy computer system that is now in place at Centers. I only did a few weeks worth of those before they did the switchover, and boy was I rusty. In fact, I ended up forgetting to do a very important step – marking down all product purchases on the product sheet. This is super important for reconciling the $$ at the end of a meeting. When the other receptionist counted up the money and checked it against the product sales, it was like $80 off. Because I forgot to mark it down. This resulted in everyone having to stay almost 45 minutes later, to fix the problem. I felt terrible. I felt like slinking under the carpet and dying. The other staff members were pretty nice to me about it, but to be honest, I sort of messed up their night. Everyone ended up going home late, after a lot of stress. Caused by me.

I don’t deal with this kind of thing well. AT ALL.  Guess what it makes me want to do?

I drove home down this main road I used to take, after teaching evening classes several years ago. Back then, I didn’t normally have huge problems, but it was still stressful to teach on some level. There would be ONE student who had some kind of issue, or some thing I’d forget to do, and all the way home I’d be beating myself up about it.  One night I stopped in at a Jack in the Box and looked for the most anesthesizing thing on the menu: Bacon Cheddar Potato Wedges!! (omg, I just looked those up: 720 calories in a serving, 432 from fat! O boy!!) Soon it became a habit to just pull in to the drive-through on the way home and inhale a box of those. When I think of that now, it makes me really sad.

So what did I do with my stress last night? I started the evening with a full hand of nice fingernails. They’re down to little nubs now: chewed and torn away. Ah well, I didn’t EAT them so it didn’t cost me any calories.

All night I had recurring dreams of being horribly inept at one thing after another: I had to give a speech, but had brought the wrong one, and then I lost the pages, then I couldn’t work the AV equipment, and then and then…. AUGH I hate messing up!!! It upset me so much I couldn’t even do my regular Biggest Loser liveblogging last night. I did get home in time to watch the final hour, but I pretty much sat here and watched it like a blob. I didn’t really care one way or the other.

This morning, I went to my trainer and had a fantastic workout. THEN, FINALLY, I felt better. Much better.

I am glad that I did not veer into the Jack in the Box and take up old bad habits. I’m glad it didn’t really even occur to me, like it wasn’t a struggle to not do that. I just made a mental note as I drove past. But I still felt terrible.

I need to find ways to not freak out so much when I make a mistake.

9

Recharged: It’s All New Again!

It’s so funny. I used to have a very contentious relationship (in my head) with WW.  There were times when I loved it (actually, this was wayyyy back in the beginnning, when I first joined in 1997), times when I felt “eh” and other times when I was outright angry. I was one of Those Members who sat in the back row, arms folded, with an “I dare you to tell me what to do” look on my face. There were times when I paid to go to meetings for three or four months and my weight never budged. Or it went up and down the same two pounds over and over. I just was not ready (or willing, at ALL) to do the program. I’ve never had any doubt in my mind that if you do the WW program, it will work. The problem is all the junk in the way of DOING it.

Yesterday I received my leader prep materials for November, plus a preview package of some things that are new to the program for 2010. I got so excited! I pored over every single piece of paper, word, drawing with huge eyes. WOWEE! I kept nodding my head, saying, “Yeah, that’s right!”

But I remember getting those weekly booklets and just tossing them into the recycling. At one point, it was just all “blah blah blah blah” like Charlie Brown’s teacher. There was just no reception for it.

Last night I did a little practice bit of a meeting, no more than two minutes, at my regular meeting. We are supposed to share something about our own personal WW journey. As I talked, I was surprised (no? should I be surprised? Ha) that I got a little emotional about it.

I talked about how I first joined WW in 1997 when I was preparing to go to a high school reunion. I wanted to look good, or at least decent. I probably was 25-30 lbs over my high school days at that point. So, I got allllllmmmmmmmmost to my goal weight, but not quite. I was about 4-5 lbs shy at the reunion. Then it was over. I went home. All my incentive had evaporated. I stopped being “OP” (on plan). All that weight (plus more) boomeranged right back at me. That was my first mistake: to have a specific goal, and then not replacing it with a new goal right away. Oops.

Thus began my in-and-out, love-hate relationship with WW. I came and went many times more over the next several years, but never really had the same enthusiasm as my first time. Then it was replaced with dread and hatred as I failed over and over again. Until this last January, when I was in such a state of desperation with my diabetes diagnosis. Even then, I sort of slunk in to the meeting. I sort of did the program.

It wasn’t until I was within fingers’ reach of my goal that I woke up and realized what it had all done for me. And then I started maintenance, which is a whole ‘nother ball of wax, as they say. It’s then that I started really paying attention, and really complying. Really reading the materials and seeing what value they had for me. Really GETTING IT.

I don’t want to get all WW-evangelical on y’all, but this training has really opened my eyes even MORE to what a good, solid, comprehensive program this is. And if people engage with it, and really take in everything it has to offer, it’s such good stuff. Truly.

7

Finally Bootless!

I went back to my podiatrist today. The great news is that I get to put that damn cast boot in the closet! The other great news is that he says no surgery for now. The medium news is that I have to trade the boot for a brace that I must wear to do any exercise. I went out and bought it but it does not look very comfy so I admit I have not worn it yet. I will do so tomorrow morning when I go to see the trainer.

This is the longest I have gone without exercise since January. I worked out hard about twice in these past two weeks. I wanted to work out while I was on vacation last week, but it just did not happen, other than a long walk with my friends. I did have good intentions but with so many people to visit with in such a short time, I just mostly ended up sitting around and talking with dear friends and also my daughter, who flew in to spend her 19th birthday with me/us. It was truly blissful, lovely, wonderful, etc. We had a fabulous celebratory meal at the one and only Moosewood restaurant.

The upshot of it is that I gained a few pounds. I am not panicking, because it isn’t any more than I’ve gained on other “off” weeks I’ve had this year. But it’s bad timing because I am going to my WW leader training in two days. I sure as heck hope they will not weigh us, but they probably will. Aghh..

If anything was “worth it,” this was. But I really notice the big difference that these few pounds makes. I notice how it feels to not exercise in so long. (not good) Today I went to Sports Authority to buy my ankle brace and while I was there, I also bought a new fitness ball, a pair of 8 lb weights, and two new exercise DVDs: something called “Yoga for Inflexible People” (that’s me!!) and an on-sale Biggest Loser exercise DVD. I am very very anxious to get back to it.

Tomorrow morning!

6

Foodie on the Fly!

Wow, it’s been whirlwindish since I left home … two days ago? I’m sad to say that even though I had all good intentions of using my friend’s home gym I never made it down there. 😦 Now I am at another friend’s, and I am fully planning on doing SOMEthing tomorrow morning since I do not have to get up super early.

But it’s been awesome. I went back to the little hometown I grew up in (population 8,000) and had an incredibly wonderful time with old friends I haven’t seen, some in 30 (!) years. I visited my old high school with my high school best friend. We found our old lockers, sat in the senior lounge at the cafeteria (place of huge social status!), ate at the famous down in the center of town. Gosh, I miss diners. They are all over New Jersey but they really don’t have this kind of diner where I live now. It was awesome to be in there and to hear people tawkin’ like I’m used to. Did you know that James Gandolfini (Jimmy in my memory) came from my home town? He was a year behind me in high school.  Nice signed photo of him up in the town diner, because of course HE has fond memories of the place too. I was sad to see that the local Friendly’s is now a bank, and the place that used to make amazing hot donuts and cider is no longer. Just as well, right? I could’ve just eaten my nostalgic way through the week!

I have no idea what is happening weight-wise. Yesterday we didn’t have time for dinner before meeting other HS buddies so we just ordered some appetizers from the bar. I  nibbled at a plate of seared ahi, and had two stuffed (with seafood) mushrooms. I ordered a cocktail that was REALLY BAD so I followed up with some mineral water and lime. Today I was on the run hobble all day, so just ended up having some fruit, half a scone, a bowl of miso soup and one piece of sashimi.  BUT I haven’t exercised all week, so… we shall see.

Folks on the Biggest Loser are right; it’s really challenging to eat in restaurants for a week and still lose weight. AND to be in a freaking cast boot. I’m not aiming to lose this week but I am sure hoping I can at least maintain. WW training is just 3 days after I get home. I don’t know if they’re going to weigh us (GOD I HOPE NOT) but I want to look as good as possible.

5

Nia jammmmmmin’!

IMG_0660The Nia Jam today was so great. Wouldn’t it be amazing if every class could have a dozen awesome teachers, go on for an hour and a half and just be enormous? I would love it.

I went in feeling not so psyched and kind of trepidatious, what with the stupid boot and all. I was feeling kind of glum and like I was going to have to be on the sidelines of all the fun.  I had a chair set up in the back if necessary. But I ended up not needing it at all. I was so surprised (and thrilled!) that I was able to do about 80% of the moves, even the turns and twirls, in my boot! AND I got a great workout, I was nice and sweaty afterward.

BIG fun is that I got to meet the awesome Terre Pruitt, the lovely Nia teacher who started commenting on my blog after my very first Nia class! She’s sweet and adorable and also has great dimples.

I was re-energized. And encouraged. If I could do a 90 minute Nia Jam, then I can DEFINITELY go back to my regular Nia classes, even with the boot. Yay!

It’s probably my last Nia for a while, though. On Tuesday morning I am taking off for the East Coast, for the grand finale/icing on the cake/best birthday celebration ever. (yes, my birthday was in August, I believe in drawing it out as long as possible!) And I’ll also be getting to celebrate my beloved daughter’s 19th birthday with her! (not something I was expecting, so it’s a special gift for both of us) I’ll be with some of my dearest friends ever, people I never get to see enough of, and we’re capping it off with dinner at the awesome, original, one and only Moosewood restaurant! I can’t waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Then I come home, and a few days later it’s off to Weight Watcher leader training. October is nonstop on the go!

13

Measuring Up, Writing Down

images-1I took my measurements today, for the Biggest Loser challenge.  I still have a bit to lose at my waist, which is 32″ at the smallest level. According to J. Crew size charts, this puts me at size 14-ish for most clothes, and I’m off the chart for Petites, which I am height wise. I’m definitely still an apple. But it doesn’t make sense, because a size 14 would be pretty swimmy on me right now. How can anyone really order stuff online?

Bust: 38″  Waist: 32″  Hips: 38″  Arm: 9″ Thigh: 18″

I’m not sure about my BL goal, but let me just say I would be OVERJOYED if I could get my waist under 30″. Anything, even 29.999″ would be fantastic. This is truly where my body fat all concentrates, and I still have big handfuls of it. And the part where it’s the most dangerous for one’s health. According to WebMD,

Are You an Apple or a Pear?

So how do you tell if you have more belly fat than is healthy?

  • To measure your waist circumference, place a tape measure around your waist at the smallest point, which is usually just above the navel. A waist size of 40 inches in men and 35 inches in women is generally considered to indicate increased health risk.
  • Waist-to-hip ratio is calculated by measuring your waist at the smallest point and your hips at the widest point — usually at the widest part of the buttocks — and dividing the waist measurement by the hip measurement. A waist-to-hip ratio of greater than 0.9 for men and 0.8 for women is generally considered high risk.

My waist-to-hip ratio is o.84 – high risk! So my goal for the BL challenge is to get my ratio down UNDER .8.

I like this goal. It’s a reasonable one for me, and something I hope I can do in 12 weeks or so, and it’s medically the next thing I need to do for my health. When I began this in January I think my waist circumference was around 37″. So I’ve definitely come a long way, but I’d like to go that last bit more.

In other measuring news, I’ve been counting my WW points yesterday and today. It’s illuminating! Let me say that for SURE I have been eating wayyy over my points since reaching Lifetime, and I am just lucky that whatever activity I’ve been doing has allowed me to maintain at that level. Once I started writing things down, it became obvious to me that if I were doing WW again actively now (ie in LOSS Mode rather than Maintain Mode) I’d be needing to eat a lot less food. Which makes sense.

And it has showed me how I’ve gotten kind of complacent and kind of “I can get away with that!” And how some habits have crept in. I’ve gotten into the habit of eating a WW or Skinny Cow frozen bar after dinner most nights.  Or some sugar free tapioca pudding – some small dessert that is in the 90-100 calorie range. But last night, as my husband was “taking orders” from the freezer after dinner (we all have our favorites) I thought, do I really need this? Do I want it? I was already plenty full from dinner. But I like to have something sweet after dinner. A frozen bar is only one point. But I said no, and instead I had a sugarfree caramel/butterscotch hard candy thing. Which has like 5 calories. I felt fine, and satisfied my little sweet craving, and I didn’t have that 100 extra calories (which over a week = 700)

So it was good to remember this, something I was a lot more conscious of last spring, but which has slipped. I know that pretty soon I am going to have to be telling people, “You bite it, you write it!” and it really IS good practice to be doing it again myself. They say that people who write down their food lose like 50% more than people who don’t write it down, and I can see why. It does make a difference. I am about to put something in my mouth, and I think, “Do I realllllly want to write this down?” and I think twice.

14

Workout With Boot, etc etc etc!

IMG_0650I went to my trainer this morning and told me, in a post-BL fervor, to kick my butt. He laughed. I showed him my boot and he was like, that’s no problem. So we did a workout that was very heavy on the arms (watch out Michelle Obama!) and other on-the-floor stuff. I did do some medicine ball twisting and pivoting from standing position, as well as some 3-lb barbell things that seemed to go on forever. Then, for a cardio portion, he had me lying on my back doing these bicycle moves. With the heavy boot on this was hard. But I felt like I was doing SOMEthing, you know? I wasn’t sweating as copiously as I do when I do a 5k run, but it was certainly way better than nothing.

This afternoon, my ankle was hurting more than yesterday. It worried me a little bit, so I took the boot off and iced it a while. That helped. Maybe when I go back on Friday I will do no standing whatsoever.

Today I got a bunch of training materials, including an online class I have to take, in preparation for my WW leader training in a few weeks. It’s a LOT of detail but I am excited to learn it. I also need to start following The Momentum Plan exactly (this is also a requirement) in the weeks leading up to the training.  This is also a good thing, because I have been sort of winging it in my maintenance and I think I’m going to have to be more focused now that I’m using a lot fewer activity points. (ie burning fewer calories)

It is the perfect time for me to take up a new challenge, and what better than the Biggest Loser challenge? (see button on right) I decided to go ahead and join this. Here are the elements of the challenge:

1. Decide to do it!!! Follow the blog so we know who we should be supporting with comments and encouragement. (CHECK!)
2. Set some goals- make sure you set a least one non- scale related goal!
  • Lose 10 lbs (I am hoping I can do this in 15 weeks or however long the season is, it’s less than 1 lb/week)
  • Lose some inches (I will measure myself tomorrow) – I have no idea what is a reasonable amount. 10″ overall??
  • Be able to run another 5k IF my ankle allows (please please cross fingers for this)
  • Umm…. I have to think of some other ones.
3. Make a conscious effort to exercise every Tuesday!!! Double points if you workout during the show! (I will work out before the show, but not during – I’m too busy liveblogging!)
4. Weigh-in once a week. Whenever you choose. Tuesday (the day of Biggest Loser) are great!! (OKAY)
5. Take a picture of yourself and your measurements, post it on your blog if you want. (WILL DO. You can see the pic above, I know it isn’t very clear.)
6. Make sure to give your fellow challengers plenty of encouragement every day! (I can do that!)
7. At the end of the season take a final photo of yourself! (for our final reveal) OK
8. The “winner” will be the person who loses the highest percentage of body weight. (I know for sure I am not going to win this but I still think it will be good for me to participate. I am excited in fact)
I know I sorta pooped out on my last couple of challenges but I think this time of being, er, “differently-abled,” is a good time to really focus on the food things, to keep active and just stay in the game.
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