A few people near and dear to me communicated to me after reading my last two posts that I should not be “beating myself up” or feeling badly about myself for eating the Chinese food. And I just wanted to clarify. I wasn’t feeling awful about myself – I was just wondering, sort of curiously, “How did I get there?” Or “How did this happen?” When I know what I know. I’m just trying to sort it out.
Same person said to me that they had eaten noodles and bubble tea. Which to me is not an issue at all unless the purpose of eating those things is to go numb. And it made me think, it’s not the WHAT of the eating that is “problematic,” it’s the HOW. I’ve eaten cupcakes and cheesecake and fried calamari and all kinds of stuff without feeling it’s a problem. I’ve eaten lots of Chinese food without having the feeling I had last night. Last night I wasn’t savoring or tasting or even necessarily enjoying. It was just about the quantity. I had that “shoveling” feeling, and in fact I shoveled down the last of the fried rice with a serving spoon. THAT’s what I’m talking about.
If I eat six cupcakes in a sitting (OK, I’ve never actually done that. Maybe two. Three.) and don’t really taste them, then it’s a problem. If I lovingly, ecstatically really ENJOY eating a cupcake, it’s fine. In fact, it’s wonderful. It’s more about the “how” and the “why” and the “how much” more than the “what.”
That feeling I had last night just was something that hadn’t happened in a long while, and I was just trying to … you know, sort it all out. I’m not feeling bad about myself or even that it happened. Just… sitting here, thinking.
This morning I was mulling over my Chinese food overload from last night and I saw our dog going through her usual bizarre dog-food ritual. She will approach her bowl, do a weird little backward dance, rear up on her back legs, then stealthily approach the dish AGAIN, take a small mouthful of food, back up quickly, drop the food on the ground and then eat it with her little ears flattened to her head. Every single bite happens this way.
We often laugh at her because it is truly amusing to watch. But we’ve analyzed WHY she does this every time she eats: it’s because she came from a place where there were twelve other dogs, and this was her mode of survival. She would have to jump up and down in order to SEE the bowl in the sea of other dogs. Then carefully plan her approach, sneak right in there at the right moment, then grab the food and back up to take it to a safe place to chew and swallow. She couldn’t just stand there, leisurely-like, and munch away.
We brought her home when she was 9 months old. She’s almost eight YEARS old now and still she does this. She hasn’t figured out that she is the only dog in the house and she does not NEED to do this. There’s no amount of reassuring that can break her of this ritual.
But it made me think of my own “rituals” and the things I do that began long, long ago. I know they don’t serve me. Did they ever? Many people have wondered why we eat to soothe our emotions even when we know we’ll feel worse in the long run. Because at one time, it DID work (or so we believed). Food actually does work as an anesthetic and can mute feelings that are too upsetting or just too MUCH. I think last night I had just reached the end of my proverbial rope. After worrying and caring for mom all week I had to go in and go to work for a longer day than I’d planned. I was exhausted, the worst seemed to have passed, and I just let it down.
Last night I got a good long night’s sleep. Today I am going for a nice long walk. I’m going to be gentle with myself, and learn once again what it means to take care of one’s self.
I really want to thank everyone for the good wishes for my mom. It’s only been a week but it feels like one of the longest weeks ever! Tonight I think I can safely say she is definitely on the mend. After not wanting to eat a bite all week, tonight she asked if we would order Chinese takeout for dinner and she snarfed down a huge plate with gusto. WHEW.
It’s been tough, and rough, but she is one resilient lady. I have spent the week sleeping on the floor of her room, helping her up in the night. Tonight I am sleeping in my own bed again. She can once again make her way up and down the stairs and is taking the doggie for short walks down the street. This is amazing considering where she was just a few days ago.
I have to admit not taking great care of myself this week. For the first few days, she didn’t eat, and I didn’t eat. Then I lost a bunch of sleep. Then when she seemed to get better I suddenly wanted to eat everything in sight. I ate more Chinese food tonight than I think I have in years. Ah well.
This week taught me that I can’t succumb to stress. What if it had lasted longer than a week? Tonight I plan to get a good night’s sleep, then start tomorrow with some good activity and getting back on track.
It’s an old, old lesson but one that needs to be learned over and over again. Food doesn’t fix stress. But some reptilian part of my brain stubbornly wants to believe that it does.
Again, thank y’all for the warm wishes. I think they truly helped. oxoxo
Last night we returned from a ten-day trip to London and Paris, our very first trip to Europe, made possible by a miraculous and generous turn of events. Mr. McBody’s cousin and family were returning to France for the first time in ten years (he lived there for years, and she is from France) and they invited us to come along. At first it seemed completely impossible, what with our family logistics and everything. But then his completely amazing and wonderful aunt and uncle offered to fly cross-country to take care of Nana and Juniorette in our absence, no small feat, given everyone’s complex schedules, driving requirements and the like. It seemed like an offer we could not refuse.
So we went! I thought long and hard what to do about all the Food I was going to be encountering while I was there. On one hand, I didn’t want this trip to be an excuse for a total free-for-all. On the other hand, I wanted to be able to experience new and wonderful things. So I decided beforehand that I would do a lot of walking, that I would continue my no-sugar #7daychip challenge, and that hopefully it would all work out in the end.
I’d say it did. My Directlife activity monitor was probably stunned by the dramatic uptick in activity, and on a completely new time schedule. I averaged about 120% of my daily target while I was gone, and considering I was averaging around 80% in the weeks before I left, that was great. I managed to eat no sweets in London. In Paris, there were many, many temptations and I decided to forego them, because once that particular domino fell, I knew that was going to be that.
Until the last night. After five days of perusing all the sweet offerings to be had in Paris, I decided that what I really wanted to try was some famous Berthillon ice cream. After having a nice dinner for our final evening, we walked to a tiny island where all the ice creameries are. They sell ice cream by the “ball” and we chose vanilla, dark chocolate and coffee.
I was very excited for this moment.
I had a small spoonful of each flavor. It was very, very yummy. In retrospect, I wouldn’t have felt deprived if I hadn’t eaten it. But I was glad that I had. I did notice that after eating that ice cream I suddenly felt more “curious” about other sweets. But I stayed away.
The best, most awesome and wonderful thing that I ate in Paris (other than the cheese of course) was the crazy delicious falafel I discovered in the Marais (Jewish) neighborhood. This even beat the nice, white-tablecloth dinner we had. It was so good, we even went back the 2nd night in a row and ate more falafel. YUM YUM YUM.
It was a long time to be eating out every single meal. In spite of all the walking (basically from morning until night) I did gain a few pounds. But it’s no more than I’ve gained (sometimes in a weekend) on other vacations and I know it’s manageable.
EDITED TO ADD: After 24 hours post-flight, the weight gain is ALL GONE! I am down to my pre-vacation weight! YAHOOO!
It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I am so grateful that we had this opportunity. But you know, there’s no place like home. I was so happy to wake up in my own bed today, and to go to our very own farmer’s market. The food in France is truly mind boggling, but so is the fresh beauty of a California farmer’s market. We took Aunt J there this morning and she was ECSTATIC to be eating raw oysters on the street, just like she remembered growing up as a little girl in New Orleans.
I’m just relieved and happy to be home. I am excited to get back into a workout routine. I want to lose my vacation pounds before Fitbloggin, and I want to be nice and ready for the 100th Bay to Breakers coming up. It was so awesome to get away, but even more awesome to come back.
I want to thank JackSh*t, Karen, Tracey and Tara for keeping the home fires burning by guest-blogging for me in my absence. I hope you’ll go back and read their fabulous posts and leave them some comment love.
I’m excited that Tracey (aka TJ) is sharing one of her awesome healthy recipes on my blog today! Her blog is full of fantastic, easy recipes that are super WW-friendly. Check out her fantastic progress – inspiring isn’t it?? One of her greatest strategies is coming up with wonderful recipes to keep her satisfied and on track. Take it away, Tracey!
Hi guys! Tracey here from tj’s test kitchen! Special thanks to Foodie McBody for allowing me to post a recipe over here today. 🙂 I made this just this past weekend with my Mom and the whole family loved it. Beef Stroganoff SCREAMS comfort food if you ask me but sometimes with comfort comes calories. My mission along this weight loss journey is to make the foods I love…. HEALTHIER!
*add additional PointsPlus for noodles
1 lb package lean ground beef 90/10
1 can Campbells Healthy Request Cream of Mushroom soup
1 can Campbells HR Cream of chicken soup
1 Cup Fat Free Sour Cream
1 envelope onion soup mix
1 1/2 Cups sliced fresh mushrooms
1/2 Cup water
pepper to taste
First brown beef over medium heat until fully cooked; drain any fat after cooked.
In separate pan- even at the same time the beef is cooking saute mushrooms in a small pan sprayed with PAM.
Ingredients all lined up….
These are the noodles I used 1 cup for 5 PointsPlus
1 Cup Sour Cream
After draining any fat, add onion soup mix, sour cream, water, and both soups to the pan. This looks weird, I know, but wait! haha!
Give it a stir….then toss in the cooked mushrooms.
stir again…mmmm nice and creamy! Add in pepper if you like!
Serve on top of cooked noodles. YUM! After I took this picture I tossed in some peas. It was delicious!
Easy and tasty! My two favorite words to hear when I am cooking dinner! Hope you all liked my recipe! Make sure you stop by my blog to let me know if you decided to make it! I would love to hear all about it! 🙂 ENJOY! tj
I’m thrilled to bits to introduce my readers to Jack Sh*t, who is one of the funniest (and underneath it all, most serious about health & weight loss) bloggers out there in the blogosphere. He is one of the first bloggers I found on my “journey” and he has been a constant reminder that if we don’t laugh and have a good time on the way, there’s really no point. I consider him the King of the Index Cards, made most famous by his WIDTH (Why I Do This Here) campaign – Why DO you do what you’re doing?? (feel free to answer this on an index card of your own and send it to him!)
Jack, thanks so much for visiting, and, um… completely forgetting my name! Ah, maturity, it’s a lovely thing.
Well, the Chobani Fairy was certainly smiling on me this week. I was greeted one day by a GIANT BOX that had been delivered to my door, containing this stunning array of Chobani yogurts! I have to admit. I love a certain Other Greek yogurt and had never even TRIED Chobani until this week. WELL.
Where have you been all my life?
Since then, I’ve been eating Chobani for breakfast and snack (and sometimes dessert) all week. It is WONDERFUL. I’ve had the peach, the mango, the pomegranate, the blueberry and the pineapple. Members of my Extremely Helpful Family have tasted the vanilla, the black cherry, the strawberry, the lemon and vanilla. All of them have been given the thumbs up but my hands-down all time favorite is the MANGO. All of them have chunks of real fruit and not just the weird jam-like stuff that other yogurts have. It is so, sooooo goooooooooooooood.
I just emailed all of my local grocers and begged them to stock the Mango, if not all the other flavors!
And you know how awesome and generous the Chobani Fairy is? She has agreed to bestow the same awesome sampler case upon one of my very very lucky blog readers! Yes, this is one of the sweetest giveaways ever.
To be eligible to win win win all of this yum yum yum, you need to do the following things:
Leave a comment HERE telling me which flavor you are most excited to try.
Go to Chobani’s Facebook page and “like” them. Which is certainly not hard to do. Say something friendly to them. 🙂
Go to MY Facebook page and “like” me. (but I hope it’s real like, and not just airquotes-like!)
I haven’t done yoga in many, many years. In fact you might say I have had a yoga phobia. I’m not even sure why.
When I was in college (like a million years ago!) my boyfriend and I took up a home course in Bikram yoga after seeing the extremely sexy and appealing yoga-in-a-Turkish-prison scene in Midnight Express. It looked pretty irresistable. So we bought this book, and I bought a Danskin leotard (LOL) and we commenced to learn the poses along with Bikram and his cast of inflexible movie stars. (he had these hilarious pose photos – you can do it perfectly like Bikram here, but if you are a normal person with hamstrings of concrete, you may do it like … Debbie Reynolds!) But seeing the imperfect movie stars was kind of reassuring.
After that one stint of doing yoga in- what – 1978? I stopped and actually have not been back since. I’ve had a weird chip on my shoulder and I don’t even know why. At some point I came to associate yoga with sanctimonious Cafe Gratitude– type vegans AND with women who put on makeup and $150 Lululemon clothes to exercise. I mean, if you’re going to do yoga, I kind of think you ought to be doing it while wearing rags on a concrete floor. LOL. It’s supposed to be a spiritual practice, not a practice in consumerism and looking stylish.
Also, I can’t sit upright with my legs extended and since you have to do that ALL THE TIME in yoga, it makes me feel cranky and inadequate. Maybe that’s the REAL reason.
BUT… my friend who moved to New York was back in town for just a few days, and she invited me to her favorite yoga class, and said the instructor is AMAZING, and then we were going to go to the Bakesale for Japan together, and it’s really the only opportunity we had to get together, so… what the heck. I went.
First of all. This was a Level 2-3 class. Hahahaha. Second of all, it was PACKED. (popular teacher/ Saturday morning) Thirdly, I thought it was an hour class but it turned out to be 90 minutes more like 100 because he went overtime. YOW.
It started out innocuously enough. Some “getting in touch with your breath/body” stuff which segued into some very gentle neck stretches, and it had been going on forever, and I thought, not so bad.
Then it got bad.
There was a lot of downward dog and plank activity, and warrior pose stuff and even flying on one leg, but the thing that got to me was the Rabbit. (picture above) Except we not only did it like the picture, we also did it while our back quarters were still downward dogging, and one leg up in the air. We were to put all the weight of our bodies on our HAIRLINE. I mean, ow.
This yoga is no joke, people. I have had a few forays into “gentle” yoga or “restorative” yoga and this was a total kickass workout. I was shaking and trembling and sweating and really FEELING IT. It felt like it went on and on forever, but in fact it was around 95 minutes. Give or take.
When it was over, I was trembling like a scared Chihuaha for about an hour. I felt really… shaky. But then after that I felt good. Really good.
That’s my takeaway message. I’m probably going to do more yoga because it’s like good medicine. I think it’s good for me and does things that my other workouts don’t do. I’m going to start investigating different classes and see which ones might be a good fit for me. This one was pretty hardcore. At one point people were actually doing HEADSTANDS and I was like… whaaaaattttt? No way I was even going to go there. But it was good, and I do think another barrier was broken in Foodie McBody-land.
After the class we went over to the main Bakesale for Japan location. In my mind I was thinking this might be a day when I’d break my chip vow and try some sugar. Everything looked freaking AMAZING. But in the end, I decided it wasn’t worth it to me. I took a tiny nibble of something called a “sesame stick” and it was on the sweet side so I didn’t eat any more. But I also got some miso pork (made from Sendai miso, how perfect could that be?) and some farm eggs and little cheddar crisps made from cheese and black rice – wow, right? Yum.
It was a good day. And I definitely stayed on track, both exercise and sugarwise. Yay!
Tell me: what do YOU think of yoga? What kind do you do? What kind do you like?