I’m really really trying to make a good decision regarding if I should do the Sprint or Olympic distance of the upcoming triathlon in November. I know that most of my teammates and coaches from TNT will say “Olympic! You can do it!” because they want to be encouraging etc. Mr. McBody is voting strongly for the Sprint because he wants me to enjoy it and not struggle too much. He looks out for me in that way, and he’s seen me reallllllllly crash and burn after several of my long distance events.
These are the factors I’m trying to weigh right now:
The Sprint is on Nov 5th and the Olympic is on Nov 6th. The vast majority of my teammates are doing the Oly and I really want to be in it with them!!
Just FYI: the Sprint distance involves a 500 meter swim, 8 mile bike and 5K run. The Olympic distance is a 1.5K swim in San Pablo Bay; followed by a challenging 22 mile bike course through China Camp State Park; concluded by a 10K out and back run course along the waters of San Pablo Bay. (“challenging”: shudder)
I could probably do the Sprint distance today, at my current level of training.
If I’m going to train for two more months, won’t I be ready for the Olympic?
I DO want to feel triumphant and not like I’ve half killed myself.
I DO want to feel like I’ve really accomplished Something.
I have to decide by next week because TNT is officially registering us. From what I understand, it will be possible to switch later on from Olympic to Sprint, but not vice versa.
Will I feel “less-than” if I do the Sprint? But if I feel relaxed and confident doing it?
Will I feel stupid and like I got in over my head if I struggle too much in the Olympic? Those distances are NO FREAKING JOKE, especially all tied together. I had a really rough time in the Oakland Marathon when I JUST did the 10k part of the relay. The Olympic tri will involve running a 10k AFTER swimming and biking.
What do YOU think I should do? Please vote AND leave a comment!
So after my meltdown I’ve been slowly making my way back. I got advice that I shouldn’t attempt to “make up” any missed workout, but just to pick up the next workout. The next scheduled workout was a swim for Friday. It turned out to be an unexpectedly busy work day for me, so I didn’t actually get to the pool until 8:30PM. I’d never been there so late before. I was the only one in the whole pool. It was dark, but the pool was lit underneath the water and the whole thing was kind of surreal and beautiful.
I didn’t end up having time to do the entire “Fitness” level workout, but I did do the Developing workout and it felt just fine. I just felt relaxed and it was so peaceful. I could see the lit-up bubbles underwater with every stroke – something I can’t see in the daytime – and it was like this very artistic, pretty feedback on how hard I was pushing through the water. Pretty awesome!
So that was reviving. Then today I met up with our regional group for a “Captain’s Run” which happened to be taking place just a few blocks from my house. Yay! I got to walk there. It also started at 9am which I considered very civilized.
These runs are often just timed runs – no matter what pace, we go 30 minutes out and 30 back in, so everyone finishes at roughly the same time, even though some people go a lot farther.
Captain Matt: "Just run that way until your lungs explode."
It was interesting how the run went, and how I felt about it. I was absolutely the last one in the group. I did walk/run intervals. There were a lot of hills and some of them VERY steep, especially coming back. It just seemed to go up and up and up. But you know what? I felt okay. I ran when I could, and I walked when I couldn’t run. End of story. I didn’t worry about keeping up with other people. I was in my element, in my own neighborhood in a place I knew well. Sometimes it was so misty/foggy I couldn’t see feet ahead of me, and other times it was HOT and sunny. The fog just kept going in and out. Like the underwater swim on Friday, I found it kind of peaceful. I just wasn’t worried about it. In the end I did a 4.88 miles in 70 minutes, which was just fine.
In the afternoon I was going to meet up with my awesome buddy Mary V, who has coached those 500 mile AIDS rides. She had offered to help me get used to the new pedals on my bike. I felt like I really needed to figure them out before our long big ride in Napa tomorrow. She suggested that we just go practice at one of the BART station parking lots which is usually empty on weekends.
So I met her out there and tried to clip on my shoe to the pedal. It wouldn’t go and at first I just thought I was being super uncoordinated. But then I tried to sit on the ground and just clip my SHOE (without foot in it!) to the pedal, and it still didn’t work. Then Mary tried to clip her own shoe in and no go.
Back to the bike store! Third time in three days! They’re going to have to paint my name on the floor in the spot where I stand and wait. Mary was nice enough to help me and help them and explain the issue. They loosened up the clip then let me get on their trainer (bike stand) to practice. Mary coached me in the in-and-out. I got my right foot pretty quickly but the left one was a lot more awkward. After about 15 minutes of this everyone seemed satisfied that it was working, I could get my foot in and out and I was deemed ready to go. The bike guys were like, “You want to go take it for a spin?” “NOW? HERE?” Um, no, thanks.
Mary took me up to the trail nearby where I’d practiced a bunch with Lily. She was so patient. (and believe me, standing in a parking lot and then in a bike store and then riding about 20 feet was NOT her idea of a fun bike ride!) She was so kind and yet firm. “OK, get on now.” She had me get on and off the bike and ride a bit (“Now stop!”) maybe about ten times.
And guess what? I RODE A BICYCLE with my FEET CLIPPED ONTO THE PEDALS!!!!!! CALL THE NEW YORK TIMES!
I only rode a little ways, and I’d say that I had two really awkward ugly starts, and two really nice graceful ones, and a whole bunch of them that were somewhere in between. But I DID NOT FALL DOWN once. And that was a huge victory. And even though I wasn’t what one would call “comfortable,” I DID It. and I hope this will translate into a not too humiliating or painful experience tomorrow.
Tomorrow we are riding up in Napa. Which is over an hour from here. And we meet at 7:45. IN NAPA. So I’ve got to get to bed now, y’all!
This weekend I thought I would be missing out on the big coached team workout (held on Saturday instead of Sunday). But plans changed at the last minute and I was able to make it. Yesterday I spent much of the day traveling and arrived back home really tired at 8pm. It was the first day that I skipped a TNT workout. 😦 I chose not to beat myself up over it, but I don’t want to make it too easy on myself to allow that to happen very often. It’s so easy to come up with excuses!
So I was happy to be able to get to the coached workout this morning. We had a big swim. We are now officially in the “Fitness” level of swimmers, for better or worse. I got up at 6 and picked up Lily at 7 and we headed up to Novato for the workout. The exciting thing for today is that they set up these underwater cameras so that everyone got video’ed so we can have our strokes analyzed. How cool is that? This is what makes Team in Training so world class. There is this GIANT team of coaches, mentors, captains and overall Helpful People to support you in every way, and they really work hard to help you improve. It’s really so awesome.
Amanda setting up the pool camera
The swim went pretty well but it was long. First we had a warmup of 200 yards. Then we did a set of 25 x 8 (25 = one length) during which we were supposed to start out slow and progressively speed up or exert more and more each successive time. I have a very hard time controlling or gauging my swimming speed so I did #1 glacially slow (ahhh), the middle ones at sort of “regular” and then the last one I tried to imagine that I was swimming away from a shark. That got my heartrate going all right, but I am also sure I was thrashing around like an octopus.
Then we did several uninterrupted sets of 300, 400 and 500 yards (500 = 20 lengths!). At the end of the 400 I felt like I was getting sort of delirious underwater, swimming crooked and having trouble with my breathing. In the middle of the 500 we were told to go get our video recorded. We only had to do 2 lengths for that, and it gave me a much needed break in the 500 or I feel like I might’ve just melted my brain into the pool. Then we did a 200 “cooldown.” I wish I could really do any other stroke – I’m not very good at backstroke or breaststroke so I could really recover more. But all I know is freestyle so that’s what I did.
We got changed into our bike stuff. I was feeling kind of shaky and wobbly and just WEAK after the swim. I’m sure I didn’t drink enough (DUH). I had a KIND bar and tried to drink water. But I was not feeling at my physical or emotional best.
Last week I had an official fitting which was supposed to make things all perfectly aligned and awesome, but: I think the seat is too high because when I get up on my toes, I can barely get my padded bottom onto the seat. Often it gets stuck, which is awkward and… unsmooth. Then, my new bike shoes are too thick for the toe cages I bought. The toe cages officially make me REALLY NERVOUS and I noted that my start-stop is MUCH more anxiety-provoking than last week. I think I might take them off. I am not sure. I got all tangled in stuff and have claw marks up and down my legs just because I was nervous and not doing things right.
There were two bike groups: the Olympic group, which is supposedly me, but they were going for either a 70 or 50 minute ride. The Sprint group was doing allegedly a 30 minute. I wanted to do more than that but I was kind of disoriented and the Olympic group took off and I was not with them. I tried to follow them and catchup but to no avail. For about 15 minutes I was riding completely by myself which I did NOT LIKE. So I stopped and waited for the S group to catch me (that didn’t take long). But then we were going on the wrong route and ended up at the freeway entrance (which I also did NOT LIKE) and had to turn around. Finally we found the street we were supposed to turn on in the first place. This street had the biggest hill I have ever ridden on in my entire life. In every other instance of my life, I would have taken one look at that hill and just walked the bike. But our group leader, Art, urged us to STAY ON THE BIKE and use our gears and our legs and what-all to do the hill. Going up it was pretty hard, but OK. Then we went down. And down and down and down. And I realized that the OTHER side of the hill was even steeper and we’d have to return up it. OH SHIT.
After a while we turned around and started heading uphill — first it was gradual, then it got more and more intense. Then REALLY intense. I desperately put my gears at the very lowest setting and just tried to stay on and stay alive. My breath was totally ragged and I was gasping, gulping and praying for air. AND I felt like I was going to puke my guts out. It was like the most all-out running sprint ever. I knew that if I stopped or got off, I would just collapse into a heap of jelly and there would be no getting up. So I kept going and finally got to the top. At the top, it was not this big relief. I felt like I’d died a little inside. I didn’t really start breathing normally for about half an hour, and I was sort of veering and swerving like a drunk.
I was sort of proud of myself, but also sort of shell-shocked and miserable. It was about 10x harder than last week’s ride had been. I got into the car and sort of wondered again what I had gotten myself into.
blech. unhappy camper
Eventually, people from the Olympic group started coming back in. I had some Gatorade and a little bit of power ball something that someone gave me. I was pretty wacked out for a while. I talked a bit with Katherine, who had been the “sweep” (tail end) of our group and who had been a huge moral support to me when I had a little mid-intersection meltdown over my toe cages and felt too paralyzed to get up and go. She gave me a little pep talk about hills and such and cheered me up somewhat. She is one of maybe two people on the team who might be my age or older, and she has already done triathlons so I have the utmost respect for her. She inspires me. Whereas some of the uber-young people who leapt off their bikes to take an optional RUN after it all, just made me want to weep.
Katherine the Awesome
I started feeling just a tad bit better as people started finishing the other ride. For the record, the Sprint group did a 50 minute ride (not 30!) and the Olympic group did like an 80 minute ride (not 50 or 70). So it’s always longer than they say it’s going to be. (word to the wise) Today was a day when I was once again feeling very Grinchy about the bike. I hated the toe cages, and hated the height of my seat. Bah, biking!
This is what my mentor Annika and her husband do for fun: she leaps on his back in the “Superwoman” position and then he does squats with her on his back. Fun, huh! These crazy kids!
What fun! Right?
I got home and yes, I was tired. I lay around and read and did stuff on the computer for several hours. Then I took a long nap. Now it’s almost dinner time. I have to come to grips that these big workout days pretty much ruin me for anything else (ie don’t try and do a solo performance or anything dumb like that).
I’ve been thinking a lot about the word “can’t” lately. Since I started triathlon training, so many of my previously ingrained “can’t” beliefs about myself have been shattered, turned around, evaporated. Some of them are big and some of them are small, but I realize how in many instances, “can’t” has really meant (until now) “prefer not to.” Heh.
For example.
I can’tpreferred not to bike or swim. I can only run.
I can’tpreferred not to ride a bike in traffic or anywhere near cars.
I can’tdidn’t train so that I was able to swim more than 4 lengths of a pool. (ahem: last night swam 76 lengths!)
When I’m swimming, I can’tprefer not to breathe on my left side.
I can’twould rather not but am willing to try to ride a bike with toe clips.
Language makes such a difference doesn’t it? In our heads and in our reality. I can’t even describe how many YEARS (decades) I used to say out loud, “I can’t bike or swim.” Well clearly that isn’t true. But the truth was, I preferred not to, and I CHOSE not to. But it wasn’t that I couldn’t.
This little one about breathing on the left side. Haha. Well, the truth is, that it’s awkward, and I turn my head in an uncomfortable and spazzy way, and I end up sometimes gulping water when I try to breath on my left side. Which is why I most often CHOSE to only breathe on my right side. But our swim coach Angie kept reminding us that it would be a good thing to be able to swim bilaterally because what if we are in open water and the wind and waves are ALL on the right side. That would not be good. So last night during our OYO swim workout I really, really practiced the left sided breathing. It did not feel easy or fun or natural. But at the end of the evening I had not drowned and I had clearly succeeded in doing even awkward, flawed left sided breathing. So I have no business saying “I can’t.”
RIght now I feel myself tending toward thinking things like, “I can’t run six miles after I’ve ridden 24 miles and swam a mile.” I’ve got to stop thinking those thoughts. I’m working on repeating to myself, “I am TRAINING to ride six miles after riding 24 and swimming one, and when the time comes, I WILL BE READY.” I believe I can’t do it today or this week, but I have to have the belief that when November comes I WILL be ready.
Early this week we got an email from Coach saying,
Hello all you phenomenal triathletes (nice way to start an email, yes? :-))
Here we are in week four already. More importantly this is your first recovery week. While our training volume is still relatively small (uh-oh), it is very important to scale back a bit to give your body a chance to heal and recover from everything that you have put it through. If you are having any nagging physical issues, be sure to take extra time off to heal. Your body does not get stronger from simply beating it into the ground. Reality is actually quite to the contrary. When you exercise, your muscles are subjected to stress that actually damages the tissue. It is only during recovery that the muscle can rebuild itself stronger so that next time it is better able to handle the stress you put it under. In other words you get stronger and more resistant to injury.
Stick to the training schedule that I have laid out and don’t be tempted to push harder or do more. (oh, don’t worry about that, coach! haha!)
At first I was so excited. It sounded almost like a “rest” week! What is recovery week! Yay!
Then I took a look at our OYO swim workout for yesterday. It was a total of 1900 yards (76 lengths) – 600 more than last week. THIS Is recovery? I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I said to Lily, “Are you SURE you want to do Fitness level again?” She replied, of course we can do this.
And as it turned out, we could. But I still am unclear on the concept of what “Recovery Week” means. It makes me afraid for NEXT week!
So after my mini meltdown on Sunday, I’ve recovered and I am carrying on. I have kept up with my workouts. All of those check marks represent a completed workout according to the Team in Training schedule that our coaches gave us. I’m not giving up.
On Tuesday, Lily and I did a swim workout and it felt pretty good. She suggested that maybe we move it on up to the “Fitness” level next time. I was like, hahaha! The workouts are split into four levels of difficulty: Sprint level (the shorter triathlon), Developing Olympic level, Fitness Level and Competitive level. We had been working out at DO level for the most part.
On Wednesday, I took Junior to the airport in the morning and then had a tough work day that didn’t end until after 8. I was supposed to do a run workout. It was late. It was dark. I was so tired. But I did not want to miss doing my workout so I went to the gym and did my run workout on the treadmill. It involved six level 9 intervals which I was not excited about. But I did manage to finish it and went to bed tired and relieved I’d done it.
Thursday was the day of my TNT fundraiser. I got up early and did my bike/run workout on the local hill trail. It was not the best workout but not the worst one either. It was interesting to do the instant transition from bike to run and to think, I’m going to be doing exactly this in the race. Then Thursday night was my bartending fundraiser. A lot of people came and generously drank cocktails (our signature cocktail was the Tequila Sunrise, since we get up at sunrise to work out! Haha!). I still don’t have the total, but I think I raised a nice chunk of cash. Here I am raising the Jack Daniels! It was fun being bartender for the night.
Today was swim day. Another long work day and Lily reminded me that we said we were going to do the Fitness level. I said okay. We followed the printed sheet. At one point I asked, “What, no kickboards?” And she very cutely said, “No my friend, we are doing the Fitness Level. No kickboard for us tonight.” We proceed to kick ASS in our workout and we completed it. During one 12-length series I could feel my stroke disintegrating. I was so tired. I got a cramp in my foot. I finished. Go us.
Tomorrow – run at Inspiration Point. Sunday – bike and run out at Shadow Cliffs. I’m gonna keep going.
Yesterday was one of those days when I was just completely overloaded: emotionally, physically, and every way. It was just TOO MUCH.
It started with a 6am wakeup and then being unable to find my bike shorts OR my swim cap and goggles, which I either left at the pool on Friday OR were taken at the pool. At any rate, they were missing. So I started out in a state of total discombobulation.
I carpooled to the swim/bike site with Lily. When we got there it was freeeeeeeeeeezing. I mean freezing. But thank goodness the water was warm and we got going on our pool workout.
I’d say the swim workout was the best part of the day. It wasn’t easy – I was often out of breath and tired – BUT I felt like I was improving and each small tip they gave us, like tucking our chins down, made a difference in my stroke quality. So that was awesome. The other good thing is that I got moved into the 2nd lane again, so I can feel confident that I am not in the beginner-beginner lane anymore. That made me feel encouraged. So it was a really good workout – probably 75 minutes or so – and I felt good about it.
Then we had to change clothes and get ready for the bike part. It started with a safety clinic and then a lesson in how to change a flat tire. I was noticing during that time that I was almost on the verge of tears and maybe some sort of panic attack (which is not typical for me). Just the thought of all the hazards they were describing were making me so anxious I could barely think. Then we had to take our tire off our bike, open it up and remove the tubing, blow it up with our mouth (!) then replace it and put it back on the bike. This entire process was just so fraught with anxiety for me. I didn’t know the name of anything or have any idea how any of it fit together or worked. I felt like I had been asked to remove the back of my computer and take apart the circuit board. I was a total deer in the headlights. Some of the coaches took mercy on me and kindly helped me out, like every 2 minutes, since I CLEARLY had no clue what I was doing, and I managed to do the whole thing. But it was still so anxiety filled for me. After that, the beginning level riders took off for a short ride but I had to leave to go to San Francisco for the SF Theater Festival where I was performing.
The whole notion of combining a workout day with a performance day was probably very, very bad. When I have a whole team workout, I pretty much collapse and go to bed after. And when I perform, I pretty much need several hours to calm and focus beforehand. So it was sort of a losing setup. I didn’t have time to shower as I had wanted, so I just changed and got in the car with crazy swimcap hair. Which was already a drain on my confidence. Then there was horrible bridge traffic in which I sat motionless for too long, and then my stupid GPS directed me to drive through SF CHINATOWN (ACKKKKKKK the worst place to drive EVER) and I got there with like a minute to spare.
The performance itself was… not my best. First, the amazing Zahra went before me. People kept streaming in through her whole show and we kept adding rows and rows and rows of more chairs. She probably had 100 people in there. Then, she finished, and like… 80 people left. That was… gulp. OK. Kind of demoralizing. So I already had bad hair, and no clue how to end my show, and a measly audience. I got through about 75% of it in strong form (I think) and then I pretty much tanked. It wasn’t the best. I had last tweaked the show for Fitbloggin and I knew I had to do something different, and I just didn’t have it together.
After my show I had to put in 3 hours of volunteer time ushering for the Festival, which was an unpleasant and resentful and exhausted way to spend the late afternoon. I was in a very bad mood.
Finally I came home and keeled over.
Today is a new day. I learned a lot yesterday. I learned that I HAVE to limit my activities or I’m just going to burn out. If I had yesterday to do over, I would have probably:
Chosen one thing or another: the workout OR the performance.
Chosen to perform my other piece which is polished and has a solid ending.
I have to really think about this bicycling thing. The level of fear I felt yesterday (without even going on the ride!!!!!) was overwhelming. I realize that this car/traffic thing for me is NO JOKE. I can’t bear the idea of cycling through a narrow space. (ie between cars) I just can’t.
The triathlon itself is going to be on a closed road with no cars. So I am wondering if I can do my training in areas with no traffic. Because I am damn sure I have NO goals of ever, ever, EVER riding in streets with traffic (for the long run). My goal is to finish the damn triathlon. I just need the skill and endurance to get through the 12 or 24 miles (Sprint or Olympic) in November. That is my ultimate goal. If I am going to train on traffic roads, I am going to need hypnosis or anti-anxiety meds or SOMEthing to get through it. I am really struggling with how I am going to manage this but I’ll be damned if I give up the entire triathlon just because of this fear.
Today was one of those Not Easy days. I did not bounce out of bed all excited to get into my new triathlon week. First, I had a super tough day at work. It was psychologically tough. Sometimes I work with people who are in a lot of pain and who have huge physical limitations. Today was one of those days. I just felt such incredible sadness, and the folks I worked with were in despair and I felt like I could not do a thing to help them. As the day went on I felt myself getting more and more tired and weighed down. I went to Starbucks after lunch for iced coffee and a cookie (note: did not help in the LEAST). By the end of the work day I just felt glued to my chair, dragging with no energy and dreading my swim workout.
A little part of me contemplated not going. But I knew that this would just be a horrible slippery slope and if I didn’t go once, then it would just set a precedent for not going again and again.
I was bummed because my buddy Lily couldn’t join me today. I haven’t seen her since last Friday and I miiiiisssssss her. Funny how quickly we establish routines and traditions. I got used to working out with her last week! It feels like an eternity!
I came home after work to print out the workout and get my swim gear. Of course I COULD have done that before leaving in the morning, but I hadn’t done that. I knew it was going to be dangerous to come in the house and sit on a chair. I did not allow myself to lie on the bed (which I really wanted to do). I dragged myself over to the gym after 7.
As I was driving, I got a little flash thinking about my work clients. And it struck me that I was feeling kind of guilty. That here I could work out and do all these things with my body that they just can’t do. It struck me how unfair that was. And I realized that that exhaustion hit me in the afternoon, I think partly because I was overwhelmed with the fact that I get to go and train for a triathlon and they can barely walk down the hall. I felt like I was showing off. And that I didn’t have the right to go work out when people are suffering in their bodies. (this is something along the lines of not finishing one’s plate when there are children starving in X…….. country)
Then I remembered something that our coaches say to us at almost every workout. That when we are tired, or not sure we can start or finish a workout, we should think about our honorees who have, or did have cancer, and that what we go through in our workouts is a mere tiny infinitesemal fraction of what they go through. And that we have to keep going.
My triathlon training is unfortunately not going to help every single person who is suffering in every way in the world. But it can help some people who are dealing with blood cancers. I thought about Izzy and about Susan, another one of my honorees (just diagnosed a few weeks ago) who has already inspired me so much – post about her coming in the next week, and about Scott Simmons and Ruthann Cons and Robert Allen, my “in memory of” honorees. Then I realized that I just passed 25% (!!!!!!!!!!!!) of my fundraising goal (awesome, but that means I have 75% to go! hint hint!) , and that gave me some good energy.
So I went to the pool feeling tired, pretty grim, but determined to do it anyway.
I got in the water and right away I felt calmer. We were supposed to do a total of 700 yards of drills and freestyle. I did it and it was not a struggle. It actually felt really good. When I was done I added an extra 50 yards just because I felt like it. It made me excited to feel the progress I have been making with my swimming.
I was feeling so happy when I got out of the water.
After I took a shower I put on the shirt I’d tossed randomly into my bag. It was my shirt that I got at the Fight for Air StairClimb. In case you can’t read backwards, it says “I climb because I can.” And I guess I swim because I can.
When I was driving home there was an incredibly beautiful fingernail moon hanging over the city.
Today is officially the start of my 2nd week of triathlon training. I did my second “big” team training this morning, and after a nice nap, I’m ready to do some recapping.
Part of me can’t believe I’m actually doing this.
Part of me thinks it’s not so bad.
Today we did an hour long swim including drills and freestyle laps (some/most of the drills are harder than “just” swimming!) up in Novato, which is about an hour away. Which means I got up at 6am, met my carpool buddies at 7 and then drove up to the workout. I was actually feeling encouraged that I think my swimming form and stamina have both improved over the week. I can really feel a difference from just a week ago! So yay on that.
Then we did a bunch of dynamic warmups before running. The running part was a big loop on a wooded trail. It was awesome to be outside in the woods and hills instead of on a track. They said the trail loop was a little less than 2 miles long. They said that people doing the Sprint distance or people in the “developing” level of the Olympic distance should do one loop. It included one semi-mild hill and then one crazy, steep insane hill. Which they recommended walking. Hahahaha. (as if!) So I finished the first loop and was like, yeah! DONE! But the coaches at the water station were like, “Are you doing it again?” And I sort of did a double take. They pointed to my hat (Oakland Running Festival) and my T-shirt (Las Vegas Marathon) and said if I was going to wear stuff like that, I better be going twice. Gulp. So I took off for the second lap.
Not totally surprisingly, the 2nd lap felt MUCH better than the first one did. I really do need a significant warmup! and the first loop was much more of a struggle than the second one. After the second loop, we had been at it for three hours. Then they took us over to a field to do a bunch of core work.
Then I was tired.
I didn’t recap my first “official” bike workout yesterday. I was supposed to do an OYO (on your own) 30 minute ride. Mr. McBody took me to a little trail that goes down to our neighborhood town/village. It’s kind of a mild downhill. I was happy because I thought it would be a perfect way to practice hills, in a protected way.
It was a good challenge and it was not easy. At all. The trail was filled with walkers and dogs and little kids on trikes and strollers and just all kinds of obstacles. Each one put a little splinter of terror into my heart. I had to practice my slowing down and shifting gears and such. Which I did not enjoy. At the bottom of the hill there was a hairpin turn that went downhill and I just couldn’t do it. It terrified me.
I don’t like the machinery of the bike. There’s too much stuff. It’s dangerous feeling. Once when I was getting on (or off) the gears “bit” me in th leg. Which hurt.
It just makes me feel so unskilled and also at the mercy of this piece of equipment. I can see now that this part of the tri is going to be my most challenging. I hope that as we do more team bike workouts, I will get more tips and feel more comfortable.
I’m really really trying to make a good decision regarding if I should do the Sprint or Olympic distance of the upcoming triathlon in November. I know that most of my teammates and coaches from TNT will say “Olympic! You can do it!” because they want to be encouraging etc. Mr. McBody is voting strongly for the Sprint because he wants me to enjoy it and not struggle too much. He looks out for me in that way, and he’s seen me reallllllllly crash and burn after several of my long distance events.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the word “can’t” lately. Since I started triathlon training, so many of my previously ingrained “can’t” beliefs about myself have been shattered, turned around, evaporated. Some of them are big and some of them are small, but I realize how in many instances, “can’t” has really meant (until now) “prefer not to.” Heh.
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