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Challenges Ahead, and My Biggest Inspiration

Tomorrow I am going to a very fancy hotel in a big city for a conference with a ton of stimulation and a lot of friends and Famous People I Admire, for four days. So, the challenge is I am not going to be cooking my own food, there will be Social Situations from morning until night, I will be highly stimulated and distracted.

The GOOD news is I have the positive touchpoint of just having lost 2 lbs while on vacation in Hawaii for a week. If I did THAT, I can manage THIS, right? Right. I hope so. I am also very excited that this fancy hotel has an INDOOR POOL and two indoor TRACKS (one for running, one for walking?) and a big, big Fitness Center. I know the conference is going to be very compelling but I am pledging to go to that Fitness Center for a minimum of one hour a day.

The other very good news is that I am spending the final 2 days of my trip with my beloved daughter who has been THE most inspiring and helpful partner on this weight loss journey. She has also been working on losing weight, for different reasons than me, but just as critical and important to her life and well being.  So she has been texting me her weight every morning, and this morning she even sent me a photo of her scale because it showed an extra-wonderful number. She has been with me through every downfall and every victory, cheering me on, sending me “helpful thoughts” (a la Beck) when I turn to sabotage or despair. It really makes me want to cry when I think about it.

I know I have not been the best role model for her. In fact, I fear that I am the one who got her into her own struggles with food and weight. So I feel like my only redemption is really to be her companion on this path to a better, healthier way.

Each of us has lost ten pounds since we last saw each other. I really feel like she is my long distance Biggest Loser “other half.” In fact we kind of pledged each other to be each others’ team member and partner, when this season of BL started. We both have a LOT at stake. We both need to lose weight for reasons that are very, very important to us.

Anyway, I cannot wait to see this girl. I can’t wait to see her confidence and her beautiful little face. I can’t wait to thank her in person and to get a boost in person. I am going to take her out for a fabulous, delicious and healthy dinner. She’s my hero(ine) in this journey.

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Another Little Milestone

So after my learning experience at the party, I got back on the wagon yesterday and did pretty well, food-wise. So yay.

But today I did something that was very unusual for me: I did a workout, BY MYSELF, and exerted myself a LOT. Normally, I only do these very intense workouts when my trainer is cracking the whip at me, a la Jillian Michaels. When I’m on my own, I tend to just.. walk. Sure, I walk a long time- often up to 90 minutes, but I’m rarely heaving and panting and wanting to fall down and cry. I just don’t do that to myself.

But today I went to the cemetery where my trainer often takes me, and I took myself through a workout that until now I have only do with him. It was a beautiful day. The cemetery is an awesome place to work out because it’s stunningly gorgeous, it’s free, and there are infinite ways in which one can push oneself physically. His favorite routine is to put people through a circuit that involves these verrrrrrrrry long stairs, and these steep concrete ramps. Just like with the hill, I decided to do the ones I hate the most. I did five flights of stairs, running, and five long ramps, also running (not fast, just little joggy runs). It was HARD. It was damn hard. I had my iPod, though, and made myself keep up with my music. (favorites: Prince’s “When Doves Cry,” Ferron’s “It Won’t Take Long” and Pure Prairie League “Amy”) When I was done, I was panting hard, red as a beet and sweaty. Which is usually how I finish my workouts with him, but NEVER how I am alone.

I came home and the scale showed me a happy number. 🙂

And: can I say that I’m excited because the Biggest Loser is on TV tonight. I predict that the Browns will go home.

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Rocky Dance!

Yeah, I’m jumping up and down with my arms in the air! YEAH! I did the dreaded awful steep hill of doom this morning, not once but THREE TIMES. I had two friends join me, which made all the difference. It was really so much more fun and do-able.  The first time was hard, really hard. I was panting hard. The second time (my goal) was a lot easier. I actually kind of felt like sprinting a bit toward the end. The third time (yeah, we did!) was harder but it could be that I was going faster. I don’t know. I have never ever done or even contemplated climbing this hill three times. It has been my personal nemesis, the thing that always pointed out how terribly out of shape I was. Now I have done it 3x.

And I didn’t go to the brunch. Which is great.

I’m just feeling all pumped up and good. Cue that Rocky music!!

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Choices

Basically, that’s the bottom line, isn’t it? Making choices every minute of the day. Paper or plastic, pasta or pickles…

I have some tough choices coming up this weekend.  I decided to organize that Hill challenge on Sunday, and then I was going to go to meet an longtime online friend, who is here from across the country. Some other friends organized a brunch for her at this fancy seafood place. I thought this fancy place was 15 minutes from my house, and I scheduled accordingly, but as it turns out, they ALSO have a restaurant an hour away.

It’s at the one an hour away.

So. I could

1) cancel the Hill challenge. (NO WAY!!!!!!!)

2) I could go late to the brunch.

3) I could send my regrets and not go to the brunch and try to figure out a different way to meet up with said friend.

What do you think I should do? I am going to do the right thing. I am doing #3. At first it seemed easy and all worked out. But I am also hosting another social event that same night, and do I need two entire social temptations in one day? No I do not. I am NOT going to skip or cut short the hill thing.

But I imagined myself rushing down to this restaurant, being all stressed out, feeling awkward because I am arriving so late, and thus… wanting to EAT TOO MUCH or the wrong thing. No thanks.

It’s not worth it, is it? When I really think about it, the choice is so obvious and easy and clear. And now, think of all the calories and money and gas and time I will save by not going.

I’m sad to not see this friend but I hope it will work out together to see her another time.

I can’t tell you, that 8x out of 10 I would have done option #2 (OR, heaven forbid, #1) and that, dear friends, is how I got to be overweight and medically compromised.

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A Dreaded Little Plateau and a Big Hill

I hope it’s little. I hope it doesn’t last too long. But the scale has not budged since I got home from vacation, and I am sad about this. I am trying not to be too sad or to let it get me down. What does Dr. Beck say about this?

She says,

You should expect occasional weight gains or plateaus, even if you’ve been doing everything right.

I’m not sure I’ve been doing everything right. I can certainly step it up especially in the exercise department. One thing I’ve done that I’m very proud of is that I organized a Hill Challenge, climbing the hill that is my nemesis and which I HATE with a passion. But I am thinking, maybe I can make that hill my friend. I would love to be able to climb that hill without feeling like I am dying.

I organized an Event on Facebook and invited a bunch of people to come. Three people signed up! So I can’t back down. I am actually shocked that I have done this; that I am voluntarily doing something that I normally dread. BUT I have a secret hope that since I am 9 lbs lighter than the last time I did the hill, it will feel somewhat better or somewhat less awful this time. I also hope my friends don’t hate me for introducing them to this form of torture.

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