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A VERY Short but Good Run

So the walk that I pooh-poohed this afternoon (“better than nothing”) turned out to be quite the workout. I walked (quite briskly) for about 90 minutes through the nearby local gorgeous redwood forest. Toward the end, I was really warmed up, and a song came on my iPod that really is physically impossible to walk to. I mean, it’s run or nothing. So I broke into a run – not even a slow run, a pretty fast one – and it felt really, really good! I wasn’t out of breath, or sore, or feeling like “I can’t do this.” I totally COULD do it. This is the difference dropping a dozen pounds make (and more regular exercise). This would have felt SO BAD a couple months ago. I was actually shocked at how natural and good it felt. Of course, I only ran for three minutes (!!) because that’s how long the song lasted. But those few minutes gave me a huge burst of confidence and turned around my usual “dread” feeling about running. And when I came home, the total calories burned came to over 500. Whoo hee!!

Celebrated with a very delicious sashimi dinner. Yummmmm.

1

Sleepy Saturday

I’m really tired today. I woke up at 4:30 because my daughter had a crew race and it wasn’t certain if I was going to drive her, or her dad. Then blew a lot of adrenaline jumping up and down and yelling for her team. When I got home, I had all good intentions of erging, but I’m just. too. tired. So instead of not exercising at all, I’m going to take a very long, steady walk through the trees. Which I’m hoping will be better than nothing.

I went to another WW meeting today, hoping to find that elusive Great Leader. The GL on the schedule was out today, and there was a Not So Great substitute. But I ran into a friend of mine there (surprise!) and we talked for a bit. Turns out she is rowing for a womens’ master team and really, really encouraged me to join. It really does sound like it could be fun, now that I am not so intimidated by the erg machine.

They practice at 5:30 in the morning. Talk about bleary. I either have to force myself to go to bed much, much earlier, or I will end up trashed like I am today.

But… I’m considering it. I’m considering ANYthing these days that will take me in the right direction on this path.

1

Bad Day/Good Day

Yesterday was just one of those super funky days.  Today has been a very good day. The difference? E-X-E-R-C-I-S-E.

So yesterday I got up with good intentions. I put on my workout clothes.  Drove my daughter to school.  My plan was to come back, eat breakfast, charge up my iPod, work out on the erg machine, then shower and go to work. (luckily, or unluckily, I have a VERY flexible schedule and boss)

I had been thinking that maybe I ought to add back some “good carbs” into my eating. I’ve been eating more eggs than I can count, mostly egg whites.  So I thought to change things up I’d have a little oatmeal. Now, I am not a huge fan of oatmeal. I loooove “smooth” hot cereals like Malt O Meal but not sure how it compares health wise. I remembered seeing an ad for Starbucks “Perfect Oatmeal.” I got the oatmeal and was quite charmed by the tiny little packets of brown sugar, chopped nuts and dried fruit. I passed on the sugar, and added about 1/2 packet each of the nuts and fruit. Then I ran into someone I knew and chatted for a while. MISTAKE. When I got to my car, there was a bright green $45 parking ticket. BOOOOOO.

I came home. I was upset. I added up my points for the oatmeal etc and was mad when I realized it was more than I’d anticipated/wanted. I went into a funk. I started fooling around on Twitter/Facebook and before I knew it, hours had passed. I kept saying, “I ought to go exercise” but I didn’t. Then I started feeling HUNGRY and that made me even madder. Damn that oatmeal!!

I ended up not exercising at all. I had to go somewhere and didn’t have time to exercise AND shower, and I really needed to shower. I was in a funk. For some bizarro reason I had the weirdest, strongest craving for HOT DOGS all day. Really? Hot dogs? Why crave what is basically a NON food but really a piece of garbage? I don’t know. But I could not get hot dogs out of my mind.  My brain was crawling with hot dogs.

Fortunately, I practiced some deep breathing and managed to get through the day without eating any hot dogs. I was in a big rush. I ordered Indian food takeout. I ate much much much too quickly although did not eat any naan or rice. It was good but I probably ate too much. (note to self: buy food scale next time at WW) Went out to see a friend’s performance. Bought a bottle of water at intermission. Went to bed vowing to have a better day today.

TODAY, I woke up and after driving girl to school, went straight to my trainer. He was fa-bu-lo-so. He gave me a great Biggest Loser type workout. I felt like Sione. He kept hooting and yelling, GIRL, you are really BRINGING IT! I was happy and sweaty.

I have been having some hip muscle pain for the past couple months -first the inside of my hip (groin) and then it migrated to the outside. My trainer’s bodyworker came in and he so very generously GAVE ME half of his time with her. She had just done this workshop on hips and she was eager to try out all her new tricks. I was so excited!! She worked on me for 30 mins and when I hopped off the table I felt like a million bucks. Seriously. It was sooooooooo good. (note to self: schedule more bodywork)

Then I had a pre-existing appointment to go to this chair massage place (yeah! another bodywork) with a friend. We each got mini 15-minute chair massages which was great since this one focused mostly on my neck and shoulders. YAY. Then we had lunch and I had a very satisfying/modest bean soup, Mediterranean salad and a few steamed clams. All good.

I feel sooooooooooooo much better today.  It’s like a different universe.  I have to remember this every single day. If I don’t get my dose of endorphins, I feel awful. If I do, everything is easier.

4

Liveblogging The Biggest Loser

So I have no idea what to expect from TBL tonight. My daughter (who is 2 times zones ahead) texted me and said it was “crazy.” Crazy good, crazy bad, I don’t know. So here goes.

  • Helen recaps the decision to send Shanon home. She questions herself as a mother. I don’t. Mama, you did the right thing.
  • Music of doom. Pop challenge: black and blue shirts -the teams are going to reconfigure. I don’t understand Sione’s attachment to Bob. Ooh the winners get to choose trainers. WHO ON EARTH would choose to work with Bob? Psycho yoga man.
  • Challenge: up and down, 100x in the mud. They love mud wrestling! Kristin will win, ha. 🙂 Kristin FLOPS. I love her! I can tell you these up-down things are damn hard. I’ve done a version of this (sans mud) with my trainer, all the way down and then leaping up. It’s hard. Tara wins. She’s bawling in the mud. I’d be bawling too. Sometimes these exercises are really emotionally draining. I’ve burst into tears more than once after finishing a real killer.
  • I have to say I really don’t understand the concept of this team thing on this show.
  • Wow, NOBODY is getting what they want. Sione is such a sad little hangdog.
  • Sione, Jillian is going to push you a millionx more than Bob. You have no idea how much better this is going to be.
  • Mikey has a great attitude, and J is pushing him SO MUCH.
  • Wah wah wah wah.  All the guys are crying. Cue the violins!! Now the cheesy vocals. BAD.
  • Bob, be a man. Be a professional.
  • STOP WHINING PEOPLE! You know, I love my trainer. I adore my trainer. But he needed to take some time off and he handed me off to someone he trusted. (his own trainer) and guess what? Trainer #2 was freaking AWESOME. I learned new great things. It was tremendous.
  • They’re trying not to laugh their faces off at Jillian’s Ziploc product placement. Hah.
  • Bike challenge. I would SO FAIL at this!! It’s like “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?” (about the dance marathons of olden days)
  • Favorite quotes so far: “My ass is on fire.” “Uh huh, it will go numb, don’t worry.” HA!
  • Cue the Gladiator music!
  • Wow. Mandi wants to throw in the towel!  BLACK TEAM, SAY NO!
  • Aw Sione is not a quitter. Blue team is bummmmmmmmed.
  • “the reason we are all here is that we always quit before, we didn’t finish what we started.” YEAH.
  • One minute left! This is very exciting. Ha, Helen’s still going even though they counted to zero.
  • GO BLACK TEAM. Yeahhhh…
  • I love how the two teams are hugging each other.
  • More tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!

My response overall: this was a good show. I got all choked up AGAIN when Sione talked about not quitting. I can remember my earliest days of quitting in the face of a physical challenge. I was on the high school track team. Originally I was supposed to be a sprinter, doing the 220m (1/4 mile) but like EVERYOne wanted to do the 220m so they switched me over to the 880. Which is just a brutal, horrible killer, of having to really pump out for two entire laps rather than.. half a lap.  So many times, during a meet I would end up dying somehow at around 1.5 laps; I’d twist my ankle, or get injured, or throw up or pass out or god knows what. But I was so terrified of losing that I just took myself out, over and over. That was a very bad precedent to set. However, I do not remember ANYbody being there or encouraging me to keep going, so I never did. It was very lonely. I didn’t last too long at track, maybe 2 years max.

0

Three Cheers for the Torture Machine

I’m only half kidding when I say that about our beloved (cough) erg machine (ie rowing machine). Both of my daughters, as I’ve mentioned before, are rowers, one on a Division I college level. I’ve watched them and their teammates erg for years. It looks like torture. But they are not kidding when they say that rowing is a full-body sport.

I just got off my third 20-minute erg session. The sweat is running in rivers down my head and body. I know I’ve gotten an amazing workout. And the cool thing is that the machine actually shows you your progress. The first time, I was averaging (“splitting”) 3 minutes and six seconds per 500 meters. (to give you some perspective, the young athletes are always trying to get a “sub-two”) The second time, I got a 2:56 (YAY! a sub-three!!) and today I got down to 2:50.4.  I was very proud of myself. If I can get into the 2:30s by this summer, I will be a happy person.

I have to thank The Biggest Loser and my daughters for even getting me to try this (my older daughter for being an example of a MONSTER rower, and my younger one for not laughing TOO hard when she tried to show me proper form). But it’s a crazy awesome HARD workout that I can do from my garage. With all my best music on my iPod.

Yay for the torture machine!!

Note to self: do NOT eat hard boiled eggs prior to erging. Burps will be very nasty.

I have to say, I’m pretty pumped full of endorphins right now.

1

A Little Wobbly Today

The dreaded Scale saw another one-lb. uptick today. I did not want to see that, and was not expecting it. It immediately made me want to eat something large. After I had that great workout yesterday! And I’ve been eating well! It’s not faiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrr!

I immediately saw the battle ensue in my head. The “sabotaging” voices were up in full chorus, nudging me towards FOOD FOOD FOOD. The “helpful thought” voices were barely whispering.

I managed to get home. Now I am going to boil a couple of eggs (haven’t had breakfast yet, other than coffee). I’m going to set up the Wii Fit because I want to start a Wii Fit challenge on Facebook. Maybe I will try the ergometer (rowing machine) in the garage. Last night my daughter tried to teach me proper form and I was totally hopeless. She was actually incredulous that two seconds after she said, “ARMS-BODY-LEGS,” I would immediately do it in some ridiculous order like LEGS ARMS BODY, which is almost physically impossible, but I managed. I am so ridiculously uncoordinated.

But the thing is I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING other than feel sorry for myself and eat. Wish me luck. Or courage. Or something. I’ll check back later.

———–

UPDATE: It took me almost ALL DAY of procrastinating, but I finally got onto the erg machine. It was HARD. I have an even bigger newfound respect and awe for my daughters, who so seriously kick butt at this. I limped along for 20 minutes. It was haarrrrrrrd! But I sweated like a pig and did not injure myself and needless to say felt quite proud when I got off. I was going for 30 but thought I can save that for NEXT time. And, hah, I sweated off a pound. Hee.

Oh and PS, after that I got on the Wii Fit which felt kind of silly in comparison. (kind of??) but I did some advanced step (advanced if you’re 80 yrs old) and some boxing (spazz) and some Hula Hoop.

So, I feel better. Thanks erg machine, thanks daughter for the pep talk and thanks someday. You all pulled me through.

2

I (Heart) Biggest Loser

I know, I know, it’s junky reality tv, but it inspires me. It truly does. Last night was one of my favorite episodes.  So the first challenge involved running up and down a hill to get keys (one at a time) to fit into these two padlocks on the workout gym. People were desperate to keep their access to the gym. I was wondering what this was about but I think it might have had something to do with the machines- the elliptical, the treadmill, stairmaster, etc. The numbers on those machines can be very seductive, especially when they measure your progress, with speed, resistance and calories burned. It can be great to know you’ve just burned X number of calories.

I don’t feel all that attached to my gym. I do enough workouts in “alternative” settings that I know it all works, and sometimes it just feels so good to be outside.

So two teams of two got gym access and they immediately turned it into a … lounge? With comfy chairs, tea, water and fresh cut fruit. So they could lounge around instead of work out!

Meanwhile, the out-of-the-gym teams had these crazy workouts where they were lifting lawn furniture, leaping over barrels, running on the beach with enormous logs on their shoulders… it was insane and cool. They also had a really fun looking mud-wrestling fight after that. I really like this season’s people. They know how to have fun and they SUPPORT each other in a really heartwarming way.

My particular family was also VERY jazzed about last night’s show because the elimination challenge involved – erg machines! Ergometers! Or, if you must call them that (much to daughter’s exasperation): rowing machines. My two daughters have collectively pulled hundreds of thousands of kilometers on those very machines. They kick ass. So it was a personal thrill to see the Biggest Loser teams trying to erg their way to immunity. Wooo!

My favorite moment was when Bob (whom I do not particularly like) talked about Kristin, the young woman who weighs more than 300 lbs. She does EVERYthing. He said, “No matter what I ask of her, she always does it. She does not whine or complain. She puts her all in.” And she talked about weighing almost 400 lbs? before the show and how she had no idea”this girl who could do this” was living inside her. It brought tears to my eyes.

So I went to my trainer today and was determined to be Just. Like. Kristin.  She has SO much to overcome, and she is hanging in there, so steady. I have great admiration for her. And he was duly impressed. I basically said, I am never going to complain again. Even when he had me doing my personal nemesis, which is jumproping. I am just a spaz. I am very very bad at it. But I kept going, and got my 100 jumps in, and that was that. It was a great workout. I love working out on Wednesdays after watching Biggest Loser!

Now that I am finally HOME and settled and not traveling very much for a long time, I am hopeful I can really get into a routine. I also want to get together my in-person and online Beck Diet Solution support group. I am going to go through that book from front to back.

Let me know if you want to join in. (online)

2

Back Home

Of course the first thing I did upon waking up this morning was to leap onto my own scale. It wasn’t too bad – a one pound gain. Considering I’ve been doing nothing but eat in restaurants for a week, and I only truly exercised two days out of six, I’d say that is not bad at all. I’m not worried. I’m feeling pretty confident overall, and the whole idea of eating less is getting more and more appealing, rather than depriving.

I gave out several dozen chocolate hearts on Valentine’s Day and did not eat one. The idea of actually eating sugar made my teeth hurt. I’m happy because I think this means I’ve successfully desugared my tasted buds. Yay! It was fun giving out those red foil wrapped hearts though – I gave them to my writer friends, to hotel employees, to taxi drivers and anybody I came across, really. People were so surprised and happy to receive those sweet little Valentines!

It was great to see my daughter, although too brief, really less than a day.

I’m glad to be back home and hopeful that now I can establish a solid routine, especially of exercise.

2

Just Because There’s A Scale I Don’t Have to Step On It

I’m in the nice hotel. Had a great workout on the elliptical this morning in their fitness center. They have a medical scale. I did NOT step on it, given the debacle of what happened last time. I’m going to wait until I get home, to my own scale.

I’m worried about my daughter. She had a little setback and I think is being very rough on herself, and when you feel that bad, things don’t tend to go well. I’m sending her love and compassion and hoping she can get through this time and be kind to herself. She has helped me so much and I just hope she can be as good to herself as she has been to me.

3

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