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Lifetime! and Julia/Julie

Today I went to my WW meeting and fiiiinnnnnnnnallllllly got my little gold Lifetime key! It was more exciting, gratifying and happy than I had expected. In a way I thought it was going to be sort of anticlimactic but I really let it soak in – I got here. I made my goal. I’ve maintained it – truly within 2 lbs – for 8 weeks. I got a little emotional about it, recalling how I’d joined WW probably 4-5 times in the past 15 years, and NEVER made my goal before, let alone Lifetime. I am now feeling like I have legitimate claim to this staff position too, and that I CAN go to leader training, having made it to this point. So that is a good feeling.

I went to see the Julie & Julia movie yesterday. Wow did I love that movie. I LOVED IT. Has there ever been a feature film about a blogger before? I could so relate to Julie starting her blog, and going weeks before she gets her first comment – from her MOM. (heh!) And then how it just grows and grows. I haven’t read Julie Powell’s book, but I have peeked at her blog. She’s gotten a lot of criticism for various things but I do have to hand it to her. I think she’s a good blogger, and she had a great premise. Which makes me see how rambly and kind of “un-premised” mine can be. (and if you think THIS blog is rambly, you should see my other one, which is TRULY a hodge-podge of every topic under the sun) It made me think about my blog. Do I want to focus it more? Do I want to change it? More recipes? More diabetes? More exercise? More… what? Sometimes I think how nice it would be to have more a dozen comments and visits a day. To be at the level of MizFit or Cranky Fitness.  But even nicer to get a call from a publisher saying…. we’d like to publish your book.

The book parts of J & J made me tear up. What is it to be a writer. In fact at one point I was practically sobbing. (when Julia gets that letter from Knopf – I love how she says, “Is it NOPF? or Kah-nopf?” When her husband keeps encouraging her, on and on. The marriage parts also blew my mind and warmed my heart. What an amazing marriage. What good love.

And the food parts – ohhhhh, the butter! The beef bourguignon! I am SO going to make that this week!! The movie also made me remember what a foodie I am, and how I DO love food. And that even though I have every intention of being healthy and maintaining my goal weight, I also intend to thoroughly LOVE and enjoy every bite of food, just as Julia did. It made me so happy to see her enjoying her food. I do not think I could cook my way through her Mastering the Art of French Cooking in one year and maintain my weight, but I do think I can dip into it now and then.

20

Maintenance Is Like Plateau, But Better

So I’ve been “officially” at goal weight for two weeks, but I think more like a month or more because before that, I was less than a pound away.  The funny thing is is that before I hit that arbitrary Magic Number, I was at a Plateau (which everyone hates and dreads) and since I hit the number, I’m at Maintenance. But really there’s no difference. It’s all kind of silly.  Just something I’m noticing.

Somebody asked today if Maintenance was Hard, Easy, or Medium. I wouldn’t exactly say it’s EASY, but it isn’t hard either. It just… is. I think our bodies actually pretty much like staying in one place, which is why losing is hard(er).  I think it likes plateaus. I’m pretty much doing the same stuff as I have been all along but I definitely hit a wall of having weight just go away. I’d have to step it up in ways I can’t quite fathom in order to lose more right now.

I’m going to hang out here for a while. But it did occur to me that just a few months ago if my weight wasn’t budging, I’d be deeply unhappy. Now I see my body as just kind of resting, and stabilizing. I would like it if I could lose another bit of weight. I know I still have pudge in various areas that I’d like to lose. But I’m not desperate to do it, and feel like it will eventually happen. It might take me a year to lose another 5 lbs.  And that’s okay.

4

Be Mindful, and Don’t Suffer

At least once a week I go someplace where I run into someone I haven’t seen in a few months or more. Since Before. And very often they will say, “HOW did you do this?!?” It’s hard to sum it up in a few words, because it truly is a long story, but I think my “elevator pitch” (code for how to pitch a book, or business proposal to an agent or funder in the time it takes to ride an elevator) would be “By being mindful, and not suffering.”

I know, it’s very Buddhist, right? But truly I think this is what has made All the Difference this time. I started attending a meditation class very soon after my pre-diabetes diagnosis. And the idea of being mindful- of paying attention – made a huge impact on my whole weight loss journey. I decided to really pay attention to everything  – to what I truly wanted to eat, and if eating was what I wanted at all, and how much to eat, and everything. It has been absolutely invaluable.

I loved that this week, in my WW mentoring session, the leader spoke a LOT about “being mindful.” I don’t know if he’s a Buddhist or not, but he did bring it up about 20 times during the meeting, and people were nodding and really getting it. I loved that.

Another big concept in Buddhism is that of Suffering.  I know that I have suffered mightily because of my weight and food issues, throughout my life. I suffered when I felt I was depriving myself of food I wanted, but I also suffered when I ate things for the Wrong Reasons (ie for comfort or distraction). I suffered from guilt and remorse, shame and self hatred. There was a LOT of suffering going on.

It’s been shocking for me to notice that this New Way has involved very little suffering, and I know that if I feel like I am suffering, it’s going to come back and bite me BIG time. So it’s important for me to never, ever sigh dramatically and say, “I guess I should eat THIS (salad?) instead of THAT.” Because if I feel deprived in ANY WAY, shape or form, I’m going to overeat. Every single time. I have to find something that makes me HAPPY and satisfied, as well as being a good choice.  Salad is a good example. Sometimes I really crave and love and feel like eating salad. But often, if it’s a cold day or whatever, I want HOT FOOD.  Before, it would be a choice between two kinds of suffering: I’d have a cold salad and feel all deprived, OR I’d have .. I dunno, a huge plate of lasagne or fried chicken and THEN I’d suffer because I’d feel overstuffed, guilty and remorseful. And fat.

So the key is to really be MINDFUL and say, OK, I don’t want salad. (“Then don’t eat salad!”) I want hot food. OK, what kind of hot food will satisfy and yet not make me feel remorseful? Often it is SOUP. I have come to looooooooove soup very much. Because there are so many delicious kinds of soup and EVEN soup that is a bit rich (some cream in it, or meat) a cup of soup can go a very long way. There is a wonderful French food takeout place near my work that has two kinds of amazing soup every day. Usually that will be all I want for lunch, and it probably has WAY fewer calories than a salad with blue cheese, nuts, dressing, avocadoes etc etc.

I have had to build up my repertoire of foods that I both love and feel good about eating. This has taken some time and practice but now I feel like I have wonderful choices.

I still always have half-and-half in my coffee, because I have tried many alternatives (black coffee, skim milk in coffee, nonfat half and half) and they ALL make me suffer. I want my half-and-half. But I have made other changes that allow that to be okay. (more exercise, soup for lunch, etc)

So that’s my short answer for How I Did It (and how I intend to keep Doing It): Be mindful and don’t suffer.

Over and out.

15

The Other Side of the Scale

I had my first mentoring session at the New Job this weekend. It was so interesting. Pretty much all I did was Observe, but tonight I will begin weighing people in for the first time! (I have to admit I am slightly nervous about this) It’s a big deal, folks!

I went to a center where I don’t normally go, and was mentored by a leader and receptionist who are new to me. They were both really impressive, especially in their handling of people on the scale.

You know it makes such a huge difference when you step up there, and the number is UP, and the weighing person makes a funny noise or groans a little, or just has a regretful look on their face. It’s like a zinger of shame. It feels bad. Sometimes it makes you want to take a running leap off the scale, out the door, and into the nearest ice-cream shop.

Neither of these women did anything like that. They were warm, concerned, kind, matter-of-fact. They didn’t respond with great hoopla over losses, just kind of a restrained “good work!” kind of thing, and they absolutely did not break stride at all if there was a gain. I really did feel as if the members felt cared for. They were both excellent role models.

It was also a meeting with not a huge number of people, and they were able to give everyone their undivided time and attention. The meeting where I normally go can often be a mob scene, and the staff people there often appear rushed and overwhelmed.

Overall, it was another positive experience, and I am looking forward to more.

After I left that meeting, I went to my “home” meeting and.. ta-da!!!!!! MADE MY GOAL WEIGHT. I was happy. I got the little star bling for my keychain, and the booklet about maintenance, and a nice round of applause. I have to say that I am feeling a mixture of excitement, nervousness, apprehension and curiosity about this whole Maintaining thing. We’ll see how it goes, shall we?

12

The Challenge Ends, But Not Really

So the Fabulous Fatties’ Health Challenge is officially over. I came in with a total of 1,765 points. We’ll see how this stacks up when they tally up the results today. According to my home scale, I think I lost 3 lbs over the two weeks. Which, if it’s true, I’ll be very pleased with.

We were supposed to write a 50-word piece about how the Challenge affected us, so this is what I sent to the FabFatties:

The points are in, the chart filled up
Time for final judgment. The bad?  Water.
Could not gulp those 64 ounces, not one day.
The good? Exercise, fruits and veggies.
The beautiful? Good deeds: smiles add endorphins.
Weight? Three pounds lost, overall. And worth 3 pounds of gold.
Thanks, fabulosas!

So now the Challenge period is over. But does it make any sense to STOP doing the challenge things? I think not.  I realized pretty early on that a day without exercise equalled a day with very few points. So it spurred me to start exercising every day, or almost.  It also made me REALLY increase my fruit and veggie intake. I thought about the Challenge every time I went grocery shopping or to the farmers’ market, and I know it made me make better, fresher choices. So I don’t know about the rest of you – how are all the rest of Team Foodie doing? but I’m going to keep going.

As for my vacation: I was scared. You know when I left for my weekend away, I was two pounds up after a nice Indian dinner with friends. Everyone said it was sodium. But I didn’t know, and I then went away for four days without my scale. I did not dare use the scale at the hotel fitness center, because I’ve had bad experiences with Other scales.

So I tried to make Good Choices. But you know I promised two things before I went away: 1. that I would not drink alcohol, and 2. that I would not eat sugar/dessert.

Big, blaring BEEEEEP on both of those. I shocked myself. I actually drank 2 mojitos (one after the other!) AND I ate a piece of cake. With icing. (not on the same day, thank goodness) I was nervous. I wondered if I was going to blow the whole thing (what: almost 30 lbs?) in those little actions. Of course, it could be the beginning of a slippery slope. But I also knew some things about me. One is that I drink very, very rarely. I virtually never go to bars. But I was in the midst of a really great weekend with friends, and we happened to chance upon this awesome bar right across the street from my hotel. I wanted a mojito! I really did. I knew what a rare occurrence this was. So I went for it.  And accompanying the mojito, I ordered some grilled mushroom skewers, a bowl of edamame and some rare ahi salad. It was like the healthiest food ever.

During the rest of the weekend, I truly did eat well (other than the cake, which was one of the yummiest cakes ever). I exercised almost every day. And guess what? I came home four pounds down from my post-Indian-dinner high.

So. All things in moderation?

It’s still kind of mysterious. Why I lose. Why I gain. But this week my intention is to keep rockin’ the challenge, keep exercising, keep eating well.

9

Goal, Eluded. It’s Okay.

So I didn’t lose the .4 necessary to make my goal yesterday. I even took off my socks at weigh-in, (advice from a Twitter friend!) and came in at exactly the same weight as last week.

It seemed as if losing less than half a pound would be (no pun intended) a piece of cake. BUT I did have several pieces of cake last week, and more than one celebration dinner (daughter’s Bday, observed several times over!). AND I was uncharacteristically stressed over the impending weigh-in. For the first time in months, I felt (self-induced) Pressure. I felt like it should be a slam-dunk. But it was not.

I definitely learned from this, in many ways.  It will come when it comes.

5

Day 3: (catching up) Goals and Celebrations

Oh gosh. TOO much to say! This is going to have to be a speed blog.

Yesterday, day 3 of the challenge, went well. I ate all my fruits and vegies. I went to WW and am now officially 1 lb away from 30 lbs lost, AND my stated goal. I am really thinking about this whole “goal weight” thing. When I first started this journey in January, I truly did not think that a 30 lb loss was even remotely possible in this lifetime. I was hoping for maybe 10. Maybe 15, tops.  I have not weighed this weight in almost twenty years, and while it is great, it is also a little freaky. I am not used to it. It’s a little bit strange.

Also, when I began this blog, I had very negative feelings about people who dieted while in their healthy range. I am now in my healthy range.  But I really do not think I am dieting anymore. (was I ever?? That is up for debate) I am making choices every moment of every day. If those choices lead to further weight loss, then good (I think). If they keep me exactly where I am now, then fantastic. If those choices make me gain weight, I will make changes.

Like I said, I did not think I would ever reach this weight. So now that I am here, I am looking around and thinking, well?? Now what? I am aware that MANY people who are at my current weight and height feel very unhappy with themselves. They feel fat and want to lose 20 lbs. more.  Me? I am far from “skinny.” I still have a pooch of a belly, and still have padding around my hips. I’m not svelte by any means, although much svelter than I was. Part of me is pleading with myself to STOP NOW. Part of me is curious about how much weight I could or will lose if I keep on going.

I guess only time will tell.  The thing is, at WW you must state a “goal weight” much like declaring one’s major. I sort of arbitrarily put my goal weight down as 30 lbs. It’s in the healthy range. So it’s possible that I could get there in the next few weeks. (I’m less than one pound away) I am not sure it is a good idea or realistic to make it much lower. But… I don’t know. It’s weird.

I’m going to just see what happens.  My goal has always been to “be healthy” and I feel healthy right now. Really healthy. So now I feel like any additional weight loss would be primarily for aesthetic reasons, which I have been rather vehemently opposed to.  I supposed I COULD get healthiER. But what does that mean?? It’s something to mull over.

———–

Last night we went out to dinner to celebrate my daughter’s 15th birthday. We went to a great Italian place that serves family-style.  We ordered lots of amazing and great food and I enjoyed every single bite. But I think the key word is bite: I only had about 2-3 bites or forkfuls of every item. Bread with olive oil dip, fried calamari (!!) with aioli, caprese salad (tomato and mozzarella), eggplant rollatini (breaded eggplant with ricotta/marinara), cracked crab, penne Carbonara (yes, with cream and pancetta! bacon!), and gnocchi pesto. Then we came home and had CHEESECAKE.

This meal made me so happy – so very happy – because I enjoyed it with absolutely no regrets. I didn’t feel guilty. I loved every single bite, savored every bite. I was a tad nervous when I got on the scale today but told myself that even a couple of pounds would be worth it. But guess what: I weighed exactly the same as yesterday.

Yay.

10

Feeling Healthily Competitive? Join Me In This Challenge!

Wow. The FabFatties have done it again – they’ve set up a HUGE challenge for the next two weeks. It involves doing many, many great things to boost one’s health.  I was so excited when I saw this because truly, that is what has done it for me these past months, doing LOTS of different things, all which benefit my health and weight loss efforts.  One of the ways to win points in this challenge is to recruit others to do it too, so that is what I am doing right now – I am asking all of my readers to join me!! Come on, come on, I get a whopping 25 points for every recruit!!

These are the things that we are being challenged to do: (the intials afterward are my own abbreviations for the challenge, which I’ve used in my handy-dandy Challenge Worksheet –if you join up I will email you one!)

*Eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables daily- 5 points (F/V)
*Drink 8 glasses of water a day- 8 points (8W)
*Exercise- 1 point per minute (EX)
*Do a random good deed- 5 points (GD)
*Stop drinking soda pop for a day- 1 point (NS)
*Actually read someone else’s blog post and leave a comment- 1 point (RB)
* Answer Fab Fatties random bonus questions about us- 5 points (FF)-Bonus questions will be posted daily on our blog.
* Recommend 2 fabulous friends from twitter and tell us why we should follow them- 2 points (TW)
* Eat a healthy breakfast-1 point (HB)
* Lose weight- 1 point per pound (LW)
* Keep a food journal for the day- 5 points per day (FJ)
* Take a walk during your lunch break- 5 points (WK)
* Have a friend join this challenge- 25 points per friend-make sure your friend tells us you recruited them! (RF)

So as I said, I’ve made up a handy-dandy tracking worksheet so you can track all of your points each day. I am gunning to do EVERY SINGLE challenge point, every day. (except maybe the lose-weight one, not sure I can (or should) do that every day.)

In order to sign up, you must email the FabFatties here,  on or before 12:00 a.m. MST Thursday May 28th 2009. You must send them your name, Twitter name if applicable, and your blog or website URL (if applicable; it’s not necessary). Also, tell them that Foodie McBody sent you!!!!! So I can get credit! 🙂

And LET ME KNOW (in comments on this post) if you are doing it. Also send ME your email address if you want the unofficial FabFatties Challenge Tracking Worksheet! It will help you keep track of all the amazing things you are doing for your health.

Here’s to some HEALTHY COMPETITION! Let the challenge begin!!!!!!!!!

19

The Café Didn’t Change; I Did

I work on a street that, for better and for worse, is lined with dozens of great restaurants, cafes and shops. I hardly ever bring my lunch to work because… well, because I am lazy. And it’s so easy to find great food just steps away from my office.

The closest place to my office is a very Zen-ish tea shop. I love their teas but in the past have hated their food. My co-worker and I have agreed that their food was “really bad.” But what it is, is very simple, unadorned, and HEALTHY food. It used to bore us to tears. Their soups are all based on some kind of vegetable broth. Their sandwiches seemed just… meh.  We would walk way out of our way to go to other places on the street, which when I think about it now, have soups that are filled with cream or cheese, and really decadent sandwiches.

Recently I was in a total rush for time and didn’t have time to be walking all over the place for food. I went to the tea shop and ordered a chicken salad sandwich.  I wasn’t expecting much. Now normally a chicken salad sandwich is pretty rich – gloppy with mayo, etc. But this sandwich was so different. First, it’s on very dense whole grain bread. Then, the chicken itself is dressed with probably 1/2 teaspoon of mayo, total, and some herbs. And it has about pound (okay, I exaggerate!) of dark leafy greens, and also has some sliced almonds and grapes thrown in.

It’s good. It’s sooooooo good.  And I am amazed at how delicious and clean and yummy and healthy this sandwich is. Months ago, I would have sneered and called it “bad food” because I was so used to eating food that was super rich and dense with fat. Now, I see their tomato lentil soup and I think how good that sounds. I call the other cafe and when they tell me about their super cheesy chowder, it just feels like… too much.

Neither place has changed their menu at all. But I have.

And now I’m so glad that my favorite lunch spot is only about 100 feet from my desk. 🙂

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