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Biggest Loser! Liveblogging!!!!

I’ve missed Biggest Loser for the past 2 weeks, so here I am again.  This is the first time I’ve been liveblogging since minute one. Opening credits: My mom says, “Someone’s gonna get a heart attack there.” Heh.

Alison says, “Obesity is an epidemic. Your mission is to help stop it. You will do everything to help your fellow Americans in the next 7 days – you are going to Washington, DC. Go pack.” They jump on a Jetblue plane (YAY Jetblue!!). Rebecca wants to see Barack Obama. (so do I) Everyone’s excited because they can fasten their airplane seatbelts. Everyone’s very excited. Product placement: JETBLUE.

They’re in their exercise togs and now they’re charging to the Washington monument. Hi, Alison!  Jillian and Bob tell them they’re going to White House. Wooooooooo! They’re at the Jefferson Memorial. They are going back to individual teams now. No more teams. Rudy’s  psyched. They’re all pretty psyched. It’s good news so far. Shay is still the only person in the 400s. She has 2 lbs to go.

Pop challenge: Public workout at the Washington Monument. People need to get other people to get exercising. They need to pass out little stickers with their names on it. This pop challenge starts….. NOW! This looks so freaking fun. People are looking kind of dubious. The people are following people down the sidewalk: “Do you want to want to work out tonight?” It’s frustrating. Daniel can’t find anybody. Amanda is CLEANING UP. People totally recognize her! “You’re the girl from the finale!” She’s got a bunch of girls. Rudy gets a bunch of guys. Hilarious. Allen is seeking out the fire station. He wants to find his brothers. The firefighters are like… um. But they come around.

Liz (the “old lady”) is working on charm and guilt. Tracey is bullying people into taking off their Amanda stickers. People are thinking of changing to the Daniel team. They KNOW him. Ha ha ha ha! Amanda’s group is changing colors and going to Daniel team. They’re all turning into politicians!

OK, it’s time. People are lining up. The firetrucks are there! The firefighers have come through! OK, I’m tearing up. Let’s just hope there’s no FIRE in DC tonight!! There are tons of people there. It’s a crowd. It’s pretty cool.  Alison says it came down to ONE VOTE who won: It’s between Liz and Allen! Who knew? The old lady brought it! How the heck did she DO that?? You go girl!

Next, they bring up Bob and Jillian. Crowd goes wild. It’s exciting. Bob is pumped. He thinks he’s a rock star. Jillian walks through the crowd and yells at everyone. They freaking love it.  She’s yelling at a lady in tangerine clothes. They’re kickboxing. Bob is so psyched.  They’re doing mountain climbers! They’re speedbagging. It’s super cool, actually.  They’re doing planks! My favorite! How could would it be to do this every day. I actually love the idea of having daily workouts at the Washington Monument. Bob is standing on a fireman.

Liz gets to take her whole team to Subway and Jillian tells them to get Fresh Fit menu. O boy!

Next, the team goes to their Congresspeople. They talk about obesity among youth and children. Daniel shows off his size 54 pants that he wore in high school. They are impressed. We see him talking about his academics suffering because he’s unhealthy, depressed and having a hard time dealing with school.  He wants better health education. I have to say this is a great episode. Jillian says that Americans have no idea of what’s in their food because if they knew, they’d never eat it. Rebecca cries about being a 245 year old 14 year old.

WOULD IT NOT BE AWESOME if Congress would stop taking money from food corporations? It would be awesome. But unlikely.

Okay, moving on to the Big Challenge. They need to survive four challenges, and the winner gets immunity. They  first have to run a mile. Tracey starts having an out-of-body experience as she remembers her first day on the beach where she almost died. She’s scared. Liz gets to skip one challenge out of the three. But she says she wants to run. Liz says if she doesn’t get in the top six, she’s going to shoot herself for wasting her free pass. Mark, get set, gooooo…! to commercials.

They’re off and running. Allen and Rebecca take off. Daniel says he could run a mile in 12 minutes, but he’s in the dust now. Liz and Danny are fighting out sixth place. Shay and Tracey are duking it out for last place. Shay is trucking. She’s speedwalking at a pretty good pace. Go girl. They’re all flashing back to Day one, when they were dying on the beach. Most of them are just doing great. Rudy is RUNNING. He looks freaking awesome. GO LIZ. I’m getting weepy now. Because I think, I see myself. GO DANNY. Tracey is jogging about the same pace that I do.

Finish line: Rebecca, then Daniel, Allen, Amanda. Liz DOES get sixth. Wahoo.  Here comes Danny, Tracey. Flashback to her near death.  She flashbacks on making out with her husband. It brings her in. YAY. Then  here comes Shay at great clip.

OK, next challenge: They’re at the shadow of the Lincoln Memorial. They need to raise funds: billions of PENNIES on the steps.  They need to race down the steps, pick up pennies, up the steps, put them in their bank. Damn. Pennies are hard to carry. Does Liz want to skip this one? YES. GOOD CHOICE I think. Only 3 of them get to participate in the next round. They take off down the steps.  Rudy has nice big paws, so he can hold a lot of pennies. Can they put them in their shirts? Rudy is double-stepping. Daniel: “Rudy has banana hands!” More like shovels.  Rudy fills his bank. Next spot goes to Daniel. Then it’s Allen vs Rebecca. Down to the wire. Alison is shrieking with excitement.

Bob says: when on vacation, run up and down stairs, then do tricep dips and other stuff.

Back to it: Rebecca wins it. Now it’s Liz, Daniel, Rudy and Rebecca competing for immunity. Part 3: US Capitol. Balance on a platform with a Pilates ball on their head.  Hey, they’re all looking pretty cool and Atlas- like. Daniel is wobbling from the get go. Rudy is standing on his brick and having a hard time. Liz and Rebecca are looking pretty zen, but then Liz almost loses her ball. Daniel’s off. Three to go. Rudy struggles, his ball is going. Rebecca is like an absolute statue. LIZ is out. Rudy and Rebecca have the last challenge!

Final challenge: whoever takes 206 steps quicker, wins immunity. Hm. I think my money’s on Rebecca. She’s smaller and has better cardiovascular health. Up and down up and down. Rebecca’s in the lead. Unless she falls down, I think she’s gotta win. This is where you’re at a big advantage the smaller you are. Tracey remarks she’s like a rabbit, she’s like a typewriter. She’s full of metaphors tonight! Rebecca wins!

Next: they visit Michelle Obama’s garden and start picking veggies for the Prez. I am insaaaaaaanely jealous. Next, they take hte produce into the White House. Jillian is wowed. As am I. They start cooking up the just-picked veggies. They meet the top Was2679265chef of the WH. They’re slicing basil, lettuce, making up a big salad. BOB IS WEARING A TIE!!!!!!!!

They’re eating a beautiful salad which costs $12 for all of them, and there are leftovers. OMG I am in love with this episode, and I repeat, SO JEALOUS.  Hmm, maybe I should gain 300 lbs so I can go on BL and visit the White House? OK, I guess not. But still: I would be so stoked to be in that place. Eating veggies from Michelle’s garden? OMG!

Last chance workout!  Jillian is happy they are not in teams anymore so she can torture everyone. They’re doing monkey walks down the sidewalk. Sprinting up stairs sideways, two at a time, etc, carrying Jillian.

Bob reminds them that weight loss sucks on vacation and they cannot let things slide just because they’re having a great time.

Jillian is training Tracey. She says, “It’s not secret I have not liked Tracey since Day one.” Wow. She says it is not about game play. She is trying to get T to changet her life. MAN, I love Jillian’s arms.  Tracey is sobbing and says, “Jillian is one tough cookie. But she has got the biggest heart. It is HUGE.”  I can see that. I’ve always seen that.  Another shot of the arms. What I would not give for those arms.

Bob and Amanda are thrilled to be reunited.  She’s sobbing about not going to prom. “She needs some extra attention, and I’m prepared to give it to her.” Um. I guess so. “I have faith in you honey.” Errrrrrr. Bob and Manda sittin’ in a tree… here we go. There is some major crushing going on here.

Weigh In: Rebecca goes first because she has immunity. She’s lost 4 lbs. She does a Snoopy dance. She’s excited to be headed to Onederland. Next: Shay is up. She wants to get to Threehundredland.  She loses 9 lbs, down to 393!! Wahoo! She sways back and forth like a five year old. Cute. She’s so psyched to not be 400 lbs anymore. She’s bouncy. Next up: Tracey. She’s down 3 lbs. Not too happy. Daniel’s next. He’s just had two bad weigh ins (+1 and 0). HOLY CRAP. He loses 11! What is that!!!  He says, “150 lbs ago, I didn’t have a NECK. My head just sat on my shoulders like a snowman.” Hee.  Next up: Allen. He needs to lose more than 5. And.. he’s lost 9!! He is looking so good. (my heart is doing a little happy dance right now, seeing Tracey on the bottom!) Danny is up next. He needs to lose more than 7. WOWEE: 12! He does it again!! This is the fourth week in a row for his double digit losses. Woo! Rudy’s turn.  He needs 7, he gets 9.  It’s good! YEAH.  Tracey is sending dagger-eyes at him. Liz’s turn. She’s worried. She needs more than 4. She gets: 3. Ugh. Aw  girl. She takes it with equanimity though. Now Amanda is up. In order to beat Tracey, she needs to lose more than 3. And….. Commercial. Everyone is praying for her. She loses…7!!!!! She’s ecstatic. She and Bob run off to have victory sex. (whoops, sorry, I just lost it there)

So it’s Liz vs Tracey. And all I can say is, if these bozos vote off Liz I’m going to bang my head against the wall. Liz says she is not the person to ask for help. Liz, do NOT pull an Abby.  Shay says she didn’t fight for it. Shay questions if she wants to be there. She’s fulla shit. Tracey gets up and sobs her face off. She sobs and pleads. Amanda thinks she’s apologizing. She doesn’t accept Tracey’s apology but she thinks Liz is a bigger threat. Oh gawd.

People, do NOT SEND LIZ HOME. The voting begins. Amanda votes for Tracey because she’s been betrayed twice. I like her being honest, and not saying “she can do well at home” or some such bull. Shay says she wants people to fight to be here, she wants to see passion. She votes Liz. What does she mean? She wants people to bawl their eyes out?? Danny of COURSE votes for Tracey, because he and Liz are secretly married. Daniel votes for Tracey! (I have to say this was a happy surprise) Rebecca votes for …Tracey. YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alison as much as says, her game playing has coming back to bite her in the ass.

We see the flashback of Tracey’s beach collapse for the fifty-millionth time tonight. She says the sad person she was is gone. But unfortunately the psycho person isn’t. Oh well.  She goes home wearing a bright purple dress. She resembles a giant grape. (hissssss!) A helicopter is inexplicably taking her home. The last time she did this, she was being medivac’ed out. She reunites with her purple family.

Next: OH MY GOD. ANOTHER freaking flashback to the beach scene. And holy cow, she looks totally amazing. She looks super buff. That is impressive. She’s running that mile and looks great.  She ran it in 11:22, which is way good. Well good! I’m happy. She’s back where she belongs and will not be torturing the other contestants any more.

Next week: looks like Shay is biting the dust.

Biggest Loser: Season 8, Ep 3 LIVE BLOG

Surprise from Alison! “In life, success comes down to your choices.” Decision 1 that could change the entire competition.

Would you rather: have your trainers, or an advantage of this week’s weigh-in? Hmm. They will still have access to the gym, but they won’t be trained by the trainers. Two pounds, or the coaches?

Well I can tell you, for me it’s no contest. I’d take the trainers no question. Everyone’s looking at each other. Pink girls say, they need the advantage because they’re smallest.  Tracey crosses the line. Coach Mo is like, NO. They’re all looking at her. Sean: “What are you doing you crazy woman?” Coach Mo is totally bummed. They are the only ones who took the two pounds. (and Mo didn’t even want to) OK, good luck!

Tracey is crazy. “I’m here to be the Biggest Loser, I’m not here for giggles!” Believe me, I’m not giggling.

DRUMS OF DOOM. The trainers interrogate everyone about who took the 2 lb advantage instead. They all deny it. Jillian finds out it’s Tracey: “Not the brightest bulb.” HAH! So true. They want to get inside Tracey’s head. She starts crying immediately. “I was scared. I just got here and I don’t want to leave.” What will happen with Coach Mo? I feel so bad for him. Coach Mo is looking sideways at the whole thing, feeling totally mad and screwed.

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Dr. H comes on to talk to Abby who has shin splints. My husband (WHO HAS NEVER SEEN BIGGEST LOSER) says “I know him! We trained together!!” THEY WERE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!

(excuse me while I lie down and fan myself) Is that nuts?!?

OK, I just missed Abby’s sob story. And everything about the shin splints. What did he say? Husband: “Hey, he’s looking good!” I can’t get over this craziness. Commercial break. “Yeah, he’s a nice guy. He’s a serious doctor!” No kidding? Really? Wow.

OK. Back to the show. I’ve recovered. Bob tells us (in secret) that he is not feeling hopeful about her injury. He says that working out with injured people is something he can do. He tells her to get in the pool.

Back to Alison, who is looking spiffy in black leather. TEMPTATION TIME. She asks, Would you rather: … or control this game? Ah. One person from each team will weigh in. The winner of the temptation gets to choose. The winner will control the entire weigh-in. They line up in front of silver trays. They lift the silver domes. It’s not catfish (as Liz wants) – it’s a cupcake. They’re like, Come ON.

To win the temptation, they have to eat more cupcakes than anyone else. Oh jeez. They have ten minutes. Some of them smell it. Lick it. Alison comes through with a big tray with more cupcakes. Ohh, there’s a black curtain. They can’t see each other. Liz hopes that Danny is not eating a cupcake. He is. Sean is shaking his head. “I want to take a cupcake and rub it all over my body.”

You all know the marshmallow experiment? This is a BL version of that. Exactly.

Alison yells out, “Someone is eating a cupcake.” People’s eyes start popping out. Tracey loses it. She’s stuffing cupcakes in as fast as she can. So is Antoine. Sean is dumfounded. “You better won.” The winner was: Tracey. FOUR cupcakes.

Husband: “Tracey has impulse control issues.” Hee. He’s a funny little sidecake sidekick. Tracey now feels sick and hates herself. AND she now has the power in the weigh-in. Coach Mo whispers, “What were you thinking?” They all now know she is certifiably insane.

Next morning: Bob says, “I hope nobody did anything stupid.” B and J say, “Who cares about this game? WHO in the world would’ve done this?” Tracey raises her hand. Jilian is about to put her first through her forehead.  She’s punching her first. Jillian hisses, “I HATE WASTING MY TIME TRACEY, it PISSES ME OFF.” She’s about to throttle Tracey with her bare hands.  Jillian is going ballistic. I love her so much. “You ignored what I told you and you threw it away.” Jillian: “She is Bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.”

(Daughter: “I like how when she’s mad she starts quoting songs.”)

They go to the gym. I am crying for Mo. Bob” Game players get fat again. Sorry, that’s what happens.”   You said it, dude. Sean is worried about Tracey’s power in the weigh in. Instead they all kick ass in the gym.

Coach Mo is watching what everyone is doing. He is taking instruction by watching what other people are doing. Jillian offers Danny a choice between sledgehammer and kettlebells. He chooses sledgehammer. He says it burns his muscles to the core. He’s been through the sausage grinder. I believe him. Now he’s upending some massive tire that looks like it belonged to Paul Bunyan. Jillian laughs diabolically, “Would you rather have chosen kettlebells?”

CHALLENGE TIME: Alison looks cute in a straw hat. “Today’s winner will get something that is better than … anything. The winner gets immunity.” OK this is where Tara would have smoked it last season. Not so sure who is really the strongest/fittest at this point. Daniel? Hard to say. They need to get 500 lbs. They can carry 10 lb weights or 25 lbs weights a shorter distance. Julio, Mo and Allen only need to carry 250 since they are individuals.

They start. Green team seems to be doing good. Pink team rocking.  Pink team is looking like Tara. “I’m used to eating pizza, not climbing hills!” says pink girl. HA. Yup. Green team Allen (the firefighter) has a real advantage here. Yeah, he’s been pulling hoses and things. GO ALLEN. I like his bad firefighter self. HE WINS IMMUNITY. Yahooooo!

The people who didn’t win keep going. They’re full of fire. Go Shay. Go Daniel and Sean. You guys rock.

Last chance workout: Bob and Jillian are totally focusing on the girls because they think Tracey will be sending them home. Liz is afraid. Pink Amanda says, “Tracey told me she’d never write my name down.” Tracey says, “I haven’t thought of a strategy yet. But there will be one.” Shay: “Every day is a last chance for me.” She’s on what she calls Jacob’s Ladder from Hell. She started out not being able to do 20 seconds, and now she’s up to six minutes. That rocks.  Sean says, “I don’t think a puma could do this much.”

Note to self: Never tell your trainer, “I’m tired.” Jillian says “I’m the bad parent. So be it.” She’s all in Dina’s face. (is that her name?) “You can choose to do it, or you can choose to quit.” I love the chorus of doom.  GO DINA. She runs like hell. Jillian: “There you go. Really solid.” What I would not give to hear those words from JM!

Bob is all over Amanda and she’s like I can’t! I can’t! She does it. He counts down. Then, “Don’t ever say you can’t do anything. Pisses me off.” He stomps off and she slumps and sweats on her treadmill.

OMG! Ray LaMontagne singing on a dog commercial! Trouble! hee! (O MAN I love this song) It’s an adorable commercial. Oh it’s for Travelers Insurance. Now Cat Stevens! Singing “If you want to be you be you” for My Touch phone. LOVE the music. OOH Now it’s the Jim and Pam from The Office commercial! Best set of commercials all night.

Back to the show: Daniel goes to Tracey to ask for mercy in the weigh in. Tracey: “The pressure to think about this is driving me crazy.” Too late for that, girl. You are already crazy. The pink girls go and meet with her. They want Rebecca to go on the scale.

Coach Mo is trying to stand up for Tracey – he is a real gentleman – and Jillian is saying that T is full of shit and that Mo needs to look out for himself because she is sure not going to do it for him. Everyone’s shocked.

Weigh in: Green team loses 9 lbs total. Which is great at this point, esp since Abby was injured. Julio: loses 7. Not too shabby (1.87 %). After this, Tracey rules on whose weight counts. I am not quite sure how this will go. She chooses Liz over Danny. Brown team: they each lose 4. (1.62%) Blue team goes up, Rudy and Dina. Tracey picks Rudy. He needs to lose more than 7. He loses…..TWELVE. Whoa. Tracey looks perplexed. Rudy has lost 54 lbs in 3 weeks? 3 percent.  Pink team next. They expect her to pick Rebecca. She makes a psycho smile. Cut to commercial.

Oh man I LOVE THIS commercial. Morgan Freeman, sea turtles and the Moody Blues?! What could be bettter?

Back to the show. Tracey picked: Amanda. Pink team is pretty much ready to kill her. She needs to lose more than 4 lbs. She loses: FIVE. Good going girl. 2.08%. It’s red team’s turn. Tracey chooses Sean. His eyes bug out. He needs to lose more than 7. He puts up a prayer. He’s lost six lbs, while Antoine lose 11. Sean is crushed. I feel so sad for him. Orange team is up. Tracey picks Shay, which goes totally against what she talked to Daniel about. She is betraying people right and left. If this was a prison, Tracey would be sliced up with a razor blade in her sleep. Shay does not lose the amount she needed. She’s devastated. Daniel gives her a beautiful pep talk.  Jillian says this is one of the nastiest things she’s ever seen on the show. “This is gross.”

Shay is below the yellow line. Now Tracey chooses herself. She needs to lose more than two pounds.  Everyone is praying she doesn’t make it. She loses…

Commercial. Agh. But at least it includes an awesome Mike Morelli Jennie-O commercial. Go, Mike and Ron. For anyone who thinks BL “exploits” people, ask these two guys. Do they feel exploited, or do they feel like they’re now going to live instead of  die?

Back to Tracey. She needs more than 2 lbs. She lost… ELEVEN POUND. WTF? And Coach Mo lost 1?

Nobody is happy for her. Dead silence. Peoples’ mouths are hanging open. “It’s hard to notice there’s no applause,” says Alison. They’re staring daggers at her. Coach Mo says, “isn’t that a good thing?” She’s lost more than 5%. Nobody looks at her.

The red and orange teams are below the yellow line: Shay and Sean. Jesus.

Shay is sobbing about hating herself. Sean looks utterly miserable. Antoine and Sean are awesome beyond belief. They are going to sacrifice themselves for her. I am ready to bust out bawling.  Sean says, “Tracey, you did some crazy stuff this week but I still love you.” He points at Shay. “You can’t go home. YOU have to stay here.”

So it’s obvious what’s going to happen. And all I can say is, Tracey better pray for mercy. I would never want to be in her shoes. Here comes the voting. Everyone is, predictably, voting for Antoine and Sean, while sobbing while expressing their utter love and admiration. Tracey is bug-eyed and whackadoodle. She’s trying to justify herself but it’s ridiculous. Antoine is a freaking hero. He’s so awesome. Sean is also a great dude. I will be so sorry to lose his fantastic one-liners. All I can say is, Shay better not turn nasty. She has a little streak of gossipiness I did not like last week. She better live up to this gift.

Where are they now? Sean is down to 324. He’s lost 120 lbs. Go kid!! He’s got his little kids. He looks a lot better. He’s speaking to groups of youth. I love him. He says he can now run without losing his breath. Really guy? That’s impressive. KEEP IT UP.

Antoine  — has lost 105 and now weighs 262. He looks HOT. He is super buff! He is taking kickboxing! He looks fantastic!!!!!!!!!! Now he’s bringing flowers to Alexandra from week 1. I have to say they’re kinda adorable. They’re jogging together! They’re spooning fruit into each others’ mouths. They’re kayaking together. Awwwww!!

Next week: Tracey gets some kind of injury. The screen says: KARMA? (Dr. H., my hubby’s buddy, breaks the news that she can’t exercise.) She says, I’m not finished!!!! Let’s hope  you are, Miz Crazy.

Biggest Loser, Liveblogging

The opening montage and I am already tearing up.  A woman is sobbing: “I’m so ashamed.” Jillian says (yells?) “There is NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT.” Some people might call this abuse, but this is why I love Jillian.  She’s not dissing the woman, she’s saying, let go of that shame or you are never going to change. Which I believe.

The peeps jump off the bus. They’re at the beach. They’re going to have their first challenge: to run? one mile of the final marathon that the last season’s final four completed. It’s a race. Whoever wins, gets immunity.

(commercial break: OH MAN look at that crazy junk food. Chili’s fried ugh. I will take this opportunity to say that many of my Tweetie friends expressed their disgust and disdain for BL tonight. Lots of us were excited for it to begin, others were like, TBL is evil. I totally get that many things that happen on the show are not “realistic” or “right.” But I feel very sentimental about this show. When the last season began, I was at one of my worst points, health and weight wise.  I felt like I was joining those people “virtually” and they did inspire me.)

Commercial over: here comes a car. Surprise! It’s…..Daniel from Season 7! My guy!  I love this dude. He’s lost 140 lbs and he’s back for more. GO DAN.  So now they’re racing the mile. Blue woman (Tracy) is wayyyyyy in the lead. But then at the top of the hill, Daniel catches up and passes her. Walking. Everyone else? Struggle. Big struggle. Of course it is.

DANIEL WINS. He HAS come a heck of a long way. Uh oh. Blue woman is in trouble. She can’t get up. Paramedics. Oxygen. Helicopter. AGH.

Everyone’s telling their stories. It’s very moving. Wow these people have been through a lot. Heroin addict mom, homeless, foster care. Woman whose family died in a car crash. Everyone’s sobbing. I’m crying. I’m noticing that this show seems to be have a lot more working class people. Who could not afford gym memberships, Whole Foods, counseling, trainers, maybe even WW memberships. This is huge for them.  (this is loong people, so continued after the break!) Continue reading “Biggest Loser, Liveblogging”

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