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Gone Fishin’

No, not really fishing. Mostly, teaching. But yes, I’ve been kind of scarce around here. I hope you won’t all forget about me! I’m doing well, just super super busy with my classes.  And other stuff.

  • Mr. McBody and I celebrate being married 21 years ago today! Woo!! Sometimes this just boggles my mind. Where did all that time go? I am thankful that it has been a good, sweet journey, not without its bumps, but we’ve ridden them all so far. I am grateful for his support and his always advocating for my health even when I didn’t advocate for it myself, in fact I was trying to toss it out the window with both hands.  I think we’ll probably go out to a nice dinner, and I will practice my appetizers + wine + 3 bites of dessert method of maintenance. I’ll let you know how that goes.  We also got tickets to a play that has gotten rave reviews and is allegedly romantic. We shall see!
  • I have been WANTING to write a post about the recent brouhaha about Michael Pollan and people accusing him of Fat Hatred. Unfortunately, this is not something I can just zip off in three minutes. I feel like in order to be coherent and really make any sense, I need to do a LOT of reading and then take a lot of time to formulate my thoughts. Of which I have many. If you’d like to read ahead, and get started on this conversation without me, just Google “Michael Pollan fat hatred.” You’ll be busy for a while.
  • I’m going to 4-day intensive WW Leader training starting October 15th! Without giving away any Big Secrets, I’d love to blog that experience.
  • I have a winner in the MizFit “unapologetically myself” T-shirt giveaway! It’s LND, who wrote:

Excuse: I cant work out because that work out scares the shileighleighs out of me.

Response: (Don’t look up the workout before going to the gym…CrossFit changes it daily)

Actually, the response is something along the lines of: If you don’t go you are just cheating yourself. Scale the workout if you have to, but results only happen if you do the work necessary to get there.

I just love that word, “shileighleighs.” OK LND, I’ve emailed you. Hit me up with your mailing address and you will have your MizFit shirt in no time!

I will really try and stop in but it will probably be kind of boring. “I ran.” “I went to Nia.” “I maintained my weight.” 🙂

Seriously though.  This blog has been my lifeline for MONTHS so I do not want to stay away too long. I know once I stop blogging, I might be tempted to get slacky in other ways. Don’t let me do that. Write me and let me know if there’s anything you want me to write about. I respond well to homework.

AND I’ll be here Tuesday night for Biggest Loser liveblogging, without fail.

Weighing In Mess

I got an email from the WW people saying that my monthly official weigh-in was overdue (it’s taking me a while to understand the rules here) so I thought I’d check out a meeting out here in the Midwest. Found one just a mile from my hotel.

Now this is the deal with Lifetime. You are eligible for free meetings if you are no more than 2 lbs over your Goal Weight. (the weight you were at when achieving LT).  At my last weigh-in, I was almost two pounds UNDER. So today, I was 1.8 lbs over THAT weight, which meant I was .4 lb over my GOAL. (also, the clothes I am wearing are easily .4 heavier than my normal weigh-in outfit) And the weigher tsk-tsked at me and said, “Hmm, 1.8 up. Well, you’re on vacation, right?”

It affected me. WOW. Why did I let it affect me? I sat and steamed through the whole meeting (and btw the leader was TERRIFIC, not the same person as the weigher). It made me think, once again, about how sensitive this whole weigh-in thing is. People who do this can seriously throw people off.  When I do this at my job, I really try to be as positive as possible, as encouraging as I can.

I really liked the meeting, which was about restaurant eating. Speaking of restaurants, my daughter took me to this GREAT place last night. It was so uber-healthy and delicious! You basically go to this huge vegetable bar, load up your bowl, add some protein (if you want) and they stir fry it up and bring it to your table. You have total control of portions, ingredients, etc. It was incredibly yummy.

Anyway, back to the meeting. The leader had everyone fold up their nametags (good way to have people not walking around with tags on all day) and she did a drawing for a prize. The woman next to me said she does this every week. I’ll have to remember this. It was fun – she gave away a journal. I wonder if she gets these things in bulk or whatever, but I thought it was a great idea.

I came back to my hotel for breakfast. They have this free buffet thing with a decent assortment. I headed straight for the hot egg mcmuffin (actually a mcBagel thing). Definitely  not the best choice but I was still all messed up from the stupid weigh in. WHY? And why did it make me make a “bad” choice? I didn’t just have one, but two. (OK, two HALVES so I guess one whole bagel!) NOT a big deal in and of itself, but the fact that I was eating out of pure emotion. Hmmm.

Then after breakfast I was too full to go work out. But I’m not in the mood for hotel gym right now. I’m going to go to that Nia class again. I am hoping it will help calm me down.

Interesting what a crazy cycle it all is. If I had weighed-in at home, I would have felt perfectly HAPPY with my weight, which is just FINE. But that offhand little comment/facial expression whatever, just threw me. It THREW ME ACROSS THE ROOM. It made me eat all emotionally. How stupid is that? Or how…? I don’t know. I’m just feeling all discombobulated right now and I could really use some spacey music (or maybe some geriatric lavender aromatherapy, hm Mizfit?) to calm me down.

Vacation Then and Now

IMG_9325We’re taking a short little vacation up in beautiful Whistler (site of the 2010 Winter Olympics) in British Columbia, Canada. The mountains here are truly spectacular. Yesterday we took a gorgeous hike; today we walked around a stunning jade-green lake and then I went to the fitness center for a little workout.

It used to be that the word “vacation” was synonymous with: eat as much as possible because you might not ever have this opportunity again;  exercise as little as possible because this is supposed to be a “rest.”

But this vacation has showed me how much my mindset has changed. When we first arrived in Vancouver the other night, I discovered that there was a Nia (!) class taking place about a mile from our hotel.  I was so excited. International Nia! I put on my running shoes after dinner and took off in the direction of the class. I realized I only had about 15 minutes so I knew I’d have to run. It was fun, running through the crowded city streets in search of Nia. When I finally arrived at the building, the receptionist told me the class had JUST ENDED. Whoops. I am pretty bad when it comes to military time! So hubby and I walked back to our hotel (he had come with me to keep me company, not that he had any intention of doing Nia, LOL) and on the way we stopped in at a Lululemon store (nifty workout clothes). We both tried a bunch of things on and I bought a very Nia-esque top. And I thought, wow, THIS is different. Finding a workout in a different location (a different country, even!). RUNNING to get there. Shopping at a store that features exercise gear. All of these things would be fairly unheard of a year ago.

I feel like I haven’t fallen into “vacation bottomless pit mode” just because I’m on vacation. That is a relief and it feels good. Happily, we have a little condo type unit with a kitchen, so we haven’t had to go out for (and pay for) breakfasts and lunches. I was bummed to see that the supermarket here had NO WHOLE WHEAT English Muffins, let alone the double-fiber ones that I like. Likewise, no Fage nonfat yogurt! Needless to say, no super fiber waffles. I’ve been eating eggs for breakfast.

It has shown me that vacation can be fun and celebratory and relaxing and it doesn’t have to mean falling off any wagons. What a revelation!

A Little Nervous Without My Scale

I’ve been on vacation, celebrating my birthday in high style, since last Friday. Up here on the river, it’s mostly been a very blissful experience, floating about on the water, visiting with friends, eating well, and generally feeling very happy. Yesterday I went for a good run. But I’m feeling a little bit nervous because I don’t know what all this celebrating is meaning for my weight.

I know one friend who brings her scale with her wherever she goes. I actually considered that – we drove up in two cars, so there was plenty of room – but I resisted. But being without it has made me realize how I rely on it to keep on track. I know, I know, there is the whole “throw your scale away!” contingent out there. I realize that I’m not ready to do it. I actually HAVE been known to gain as much as 5 lbs (more?) in a week. And if that happens, I’ll deal with it. But I do think that knowing, on a daily basis, if it has crept up one or two, really does help keep me accountable.

I’m just… curious. On the day of my big birthday party, we had lots of good food. Including cake. I didn’t go WILD but I was nibbling a lot through the day. I had one piece of cake (it was goooooooooood) and luckily for me, we finished it off in one sitting so there were no leftovers.  Last night we went out to dinner. Tonight we’re going to a birthday celebration for my cousin-in-law, who is also staying up here for vacation. I just don’t know what the cumulative effect of all of this is.

It makes me relieved that now that I am a Lifetime member of WW which means I only have to weigh in once a month instead of once a week. I am confident that I’ll be able to get back into range by next month. But if it was a weekly situation, probably not. (sigh) HOW unfair is it that it’s so easy to gain 3-5 pounds in a week, and almost impossible to lose the same?

I guess I will find out when we go home on Friday.  Meanwhile, I’m wondering.

Celebrate! Celebrate! 50 around the corner!

So, my 50th birthday is tomorrow! Woooo! I never thought I would be so excited about this date but to be honest, this is one of the best years I have ever had. I feel strong and happy. I am excited about many good things in my life, not the least of which is the amazing community I have discovered since I made a commitment to being healthy. THANK YOU people, you have been an awesome gift to me!!

I’m planning a fun celebration up at the Russian River on Saturday. My wonderful family will be there, as well as a bunch of beloved friends. I am verrrrrrrrrrrry excited. We’re going to float on the river, kayak, canoe, loll about on the lawn, play games, visit and eat! YAY!

I spent my birthday here last year and it was so much fun we decided to rent the same house and do it again. Except last year, for my 49th birthday, I was self-consciously heavy, not very active and just not feeling very good about myself. I was wearing this kind of awful stretched-out 15 year old bathing suit and… ugh. (you can see this lovely piece of attire at the top of my photos! and the boyfriend jeans at the bottom) What a difference a year makes. I have a brand-new bathing suit (maybe will post a photo next week) and a brand-new strong body. I am ready to charge into my 50s at full force.

I pretty much decided that I did not want to cook food on my birthday. (I want to pllaayyyyy!) Nor did I want to do a potluck because they can be a little anxiety provoking. What if everyone brings hummus and chips? So I decided to order food from a nearby place. They sent me this 15- page catering menu. Ummmmm…. so how do I approach this?

In the Beck Diet Solution, she believes that to “succumb” to celebrations is dangerous, because basically you can find something to celebrate every other day. (or EVERY day – um, isn’t it National Cream Puff Day?) At Weight Watchers, there are different ways to approach holidays and other celebrations. I’ve been mulling this for a while. Should I plan a beautiful gourmet “healthy” menu? Or…?

I decided on “or.” Or maybe a combination. I’m getting a mediterranean platter of :

White Bean & Basil Paté ~ A Creamy Paté of Great Northern Beans, Garlic, Basil and Parmesan, Grana Padano and Asiago Cheeses
Romesco Dip ~ A Boldly Flavored Toasted Almond Dip with Catalan Spice Seasonings
Eggplant Caponata ~ with Olive Oil, Capers, Garlic
Olive Tapenade ~ with Basil, Garlic, Olive Oil, Lemon Juice
Rouxille ~ A Spicy Red Pepper, Pureéd Potato and Olive Oil Dip
Accompanied by Sliced Baquette, Gourmet Crackers and
Fresh Seasonal Vegetables

Doesn’t that sound good? also a big cheese plate (mmmm cheese), a crudite platter (mmm vegies), a huge salad, and….. bbq ribs! Yeah, I love ribs. I love ribs SO much. And you know? I’m having ribs. And bbq chicken.

Also: cake. Something called a black bottom cake which is a dark chocolate cake filled with chocolate chips, with a white cream cheese frosting. It is so decadent and luscious and filled with butter.

I could have had, like.. strawberries? or something but… DUDE this is my 50th birthday. My endocrinologist said it is no biggie if I have dessert and spike my blood sugars like once or twice a week. So. There. I will eat cake!

I did have a little bit of a mind-spazz over this menu though. In the end, decided on a combination of food that I truly love. I don’t think I’m going to be snarfing down Mass Quantities (anybody remember Coneheads? I love them) of food because I am much more excited to be with my FRIENDS – but I am going to enjoy every bite.

I wish all of my bloggy friends could be there too. I will be thinking of you and raising a glass of Prosecco to you all! (my beverage of choice for the party) Bubbles bubbles!

piiiizzzzzzzzzaaaaa

Interesting day today, foodwise. I got up and did my 5k lake walk/run this morning, then went to my regular WW meeting (as a member, not leader). I thought that today MIGHT be the day I achieved “Lifetime” status (ie, maintaining goal weight for 6 weeks) but since I missed a week while at camp, it’s not till NEXT week. I weighed in at exactly the same weight as last week, so was happy that this low has carried  over. I was feeling good.

A few blocks away, there was a great street festival going on. I thought I’d stroll over there and check things out. It happened to be on the same street as this AWESOME bakery/pizza place. Not just regular pizza, but amazing gourmet pizza. I had not had this kind of pizza in months. MANY months. I wanted it. I thought, OKAY, it’s weigh-in day, you’re doing awesomely, you just did a 5k run/walk, it’s OKAY! I walked in.

There was a long line. For people who are trying to eat mindfully, long lines can be a good thing because they provide a nice pause, a “do you really want to do this?” pause. I stood in line for about five minutes. Then I walked out. I walked around the festival, checked out some great crafts, ran into some friends, chatted. I was walking back to my car and I walked back IN to the bakery. I reallllllllly wanted that pizza.

Guess what. They don’t make pizza on Sundays! 😦

I drove back to my own neighborhood where the farmers’ market was running. By this time I was getting SUPER hungry. I thought, I’ll get some nice roast chicken. (they have an awesome rotisserie on wheels there) But I did not want chicken. I wanted PIZZA. I distracted myself by wandering through the fruits and vegies, and tasting peaches and other good stuff. But pizzzzzzaaaaaaaaa was calling my name.

Luckily, there happens to be ANOTHER gourmet pizza place right next to the farmers’ market. I felt sort of weird going to this mecca of fresh produce, and eating… pizza.  I went in. The pizza smell knocked me out. I ordered a slice of vegi pizza (artichokes, olives, pesto). Sat down in front of the tomato-and-basil stand and.. Enjoyed. Every. Bite.

I was so happy to eat that pizza. And I didn’t feel guilty. And I didn’t feel sick! I just loved it. It was so delicious.

And it made me really happy, although it was interesting that it took me ALL DAY and circling around pizza places like a shark before I finally “succumbed.” I think yes, I should think seriously and not be impulsive about it, but yeah, I can enjoy a piece of pizza if I want. I’m not going to instantly gain 25 lbs or fall down any Slippery Slope.

So all these big food “taboos” are crashing down. Macaroni and cheese, brownies, and now pizza. It’s not the end of the world, or my health, if I sometimes choose to eat these things. Yay.

Eileen Fisher Made Me Fat

TK-P0547-GRAPHITESeveral  years ago, I began wearing Eileen Fisher clothing. At the time, I was ecstatic to find elegant, well-made clothes. They were comfortable, and flowing and I felt like they disguised my larger size. For many years it was pretty much all I wore. They are expensive, but I had a few pieces that were the staples of my entire wardrobe. I had one size L black pants with elastic waist and that was my uniform, paired with big boxy tops, or if I was feeling super daring, a cami paired with a big boxy jacket (LOL). I felt comfortable, and grateful that I didn’t have to look totally awful even if I was overweight.

The problem was that I had NO idea how my “clothes were fitting.” I could gain 25 lbs without having ANY IDEA of it, because those black elastic pants pretty much always fit. They probably would even fit me now. I didn’t really have any zippered pants other than some pretty large jeans, but even those depressed me when they got tight. So I avoided the scale, kept wearing elastic pants, didn’t know how fat I was getting AND really never had any sense of fullness when I was eating. Because that elastic could expand, and expand, and expand….

I’ve been reading lately how important it is to pretty much always wear nonstretch, zippered or buttoned clothing. For two reasons – so that you know what size your body is, and so that you can tell how full you are getting. These two concepts really meant nada to me for many years. I just wanted to be “comfortable.” But I had no idea how dangerous that comfort was.

Today I am wearing some pants that I bought recently. They are a tad snug because they went through the dryer for the first time this week. And I’m glad, because they are a reminder to me, as I go throughout my day, that I do not want them getting any more snug. I want them to fit, and hopefully, get a little looser over time.

I never really “got” this thing about elastic pants before. But I do now, and the only elastic I’ll wear now is for workout clothes. Oh, and I bought a new Eileen Fisher “pencil skirt” last week – size EXTRA SMALL (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and it looks pretty darn good. 🙂

PS. You have to realize that E.F. sizes their clothing HUGE, if *I* am wearing an Extra Small! But I’m not complaining.

————

I watched the 2nd episode of Dance Your Ass Off last night. On one hand, I liked it a lot (I love disco!!!!!) but on the other hand I liked it less. I noticed that my heart about JUMPED OUT of my chest when I saw a 10-second promo for the upcoming Biggest Loser Season! Woo!

But something about lasts night’s DYAO just seemed… sad to me. I can’t explain it. The psycho crybaby made me very uncomfortable, and I wished she’d gone home. Although I did like the way they all banded together and hauled the tempting “bad” food out to the trash. Good move, but I hated the tantrum that preceded it. She just made me super uneasy.

Also: I was trying to figure out WHY I liked that Lisa Ann Walter judge so much. (the middle one) I felt like I knew her realllly well but did could not place her. I love her but I don’t know why. Well last night I checked her out on IMDB and realized that she (many many pounds ago!) played the housekeeper character “Chessy” on the Parent Trap movie.  She was so super awesome in that movie, and we must have watched it over a hundred times. But she is way skinnier now and that’s why I didn’t recognize her. I’d love to hear her story. So sad about that movie – Natasha Richardson is tragically gone, and Lindsay Lohan is… well, Lindsay Lohan. That was one of the prime kid movies of our daughters’ growing up time. We know much of it by heart.

(Undesperately) Seeking Balance

At one of my WW staff training sessions, the leader warned us all that it was going to be potentially tricky, to balance WW work with our own health and fitness. At the time I didn’t really get what she was talking about. But it hit me last night.

After my traveling weekend, I had plans to go to an exercise class last night. I was realllly looking forward to it. But about an hour before, I got a call from a WW leader that a receptionist/weigh-in person was needed, like right away.

Of course, I could have said no. On the other hand, when one is in a new position it is a good thing to be seen as helpful and responsive. AND, I really feel that I could use as much mentoring/training as I can get. There are so many minute details involved in this job, and I think the more practice, the better. So I said sure.

This was my third training session and my second time doing weigh-ins. My mentor was great in helping me with doing a practice run-through before they opened the doors. I felt a lot more relaxed than I did the last time. I also felt very strongly how incredibly intimate this is, to see someone’s weight like that. It’s so personal. I had a bit of a flash that the little weigh-in booth is not unlike a confessional, but instead of prescribing ten Hail Marys or whatever, we hand them a fresh tracker and the chance to start a new week.

I was less nervous about the myriad little details this time, so I felt like I was able to really focus more on the people. I felt so much tenderness for these people as they performed the ritual removing of shoes, watches, belts, ANYthing before they stepped up. I think it is a really big deal, and important, that WW staff are also WW members. I SO know what they are going through. (in fact, I need to do my WI for this week, and have been procrastinating!) I kept thinking of the Buddhist loving-kindness (“metta”) prayer in my head: (may you be happy. may you be safe. may you be peaceful) But I expanded it a little bit, adding silently: may you be healthy. may you be free of shame.  I kept repeating this in my head in between members.

One woman achieved a big goal she had been striving toward for a long time. She was so happy, and I was so thrilled for her. High fives all around! It was like being a store owner whose customer wins the lottery. It was really exciting! I had four people up for various “recognitions” and I was really so glad for all of them. And for the people who gained, I tried to offer as much support and encouragement as I could. I think I did a good job, and my mentor had some really kind and complimentary words for me afterward.

When I got home, it was pretty late and I had not yet had dinner. I ate and then did not feel like exercising. It was already dark.

AH, I thought. So THIS is the balance thing they were talking about.

I watched the new show, Dance Your Ass Off, which is sort of a combination of Biggest Loser and Dance With the Stars. I am already a sucker for such shows, and this one really really impressed me. It involves a number of very overweight people who are trying to shed pounds AND compete in dance competitions.  For one, these people all had great personalities and were great dancers. Their confidence was so out there, and that put them miles ahead of the general population, as far as I’m concerned.

It’s hard to dance and show your body when you’re not feeling it’s in its optimal shape. But they were all out there – jumping and strutting and shimmying and just going wild with beautiful exuberance. I felt quite emotional while watching them. I am a terrible, self-conscious dancer who has never felt good about how I might look. I feel like I have no coordination and that I just look foolish. Recently a friend of mine had a dance party for her birthday and while I had fun, I also felt like I was the biggest klutz out there.  I only really felt comfortable dancing with my husband. At one point we had to switch partners and I think one of my partners was absolutely incredulous at how bad I was. SO… I am completely awed by the folks on this show who are so good, and they’re definitely choosing a super fun way to get into better shape. My hat is so off to them!!

Today, I am going to exercise no. matter. what.

The Other Side of the Scale

I had my first mentoring session at the New Job this weekend. It was so interesting. Pretty much all I did was Observe, but tonight I will begin weighing people in for the first time! (I have to admit I am slightly nervous about this) It’s a big deal, folks!

I went to a center where I don’t normally go, and was mentored by a leader and receptionist who are new to me. They were both really impressive, especially in their handling of people on the scale.

You know it makes such a huge difference when you step up there, and the number is UP, and the weighing person makes a funny noise or groans a little, or just has a regretful look on their face. It’s like a zinger of shame. It feels bad. Sometimes it makes you want to take a running leap off the scale, out the door, and into the nearest ice-cream shop.

Neither of these women did anything like that. They were warm, concerned, kind, matter-of-fact. They didn’t respond with great hoopla over losses, just kind of a restrained “good work!” kind of thing, and they absolutely did not break stride at all if there was a gain. I really did feel as if the members felt cared for. They were both excellent role models.

It was also a meeting with not a huge number of people, and they were able to give everyone their undivided time and attention. The meeting where I normally go can often be a mob scene, and the staff people there often appear rushed and overwhelmed.

Overall, it was another positive experience, and I am looking forward to more.

After I left that meeting, I went to my “home” meeting and.. ta-da!!!!!! MADE MY GOAL WEIGHT. I was happy. I got the little star bling for my keychain, and the booklet about maintenance, and a nice round of applause. I have to say that I am feeling a mixture of excitement, nervousness, apprehension and curiosity about this whole Maintaining thing. We’ll see how it goes, shall we?

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