non-scale victory (NSV)

Verklempt.

I got to my evening WW meeting tonight and was surprised to see my BOSS standing there! He had a present for me: THIS, poster sized, in a big frame. I was… overcome. Really.

(no, it’s not a REAL WW magazine cover, he did it in Photoshop! – what talent, right?) But truly I can’t even express what this means to me, on so many freaking levels. And if you don’t know the significance of this image, read this post.

This week I talked a few times about how on Facebook, there’s that “Year in Facebook” collage app, and it sort of summarizes your 2009 FB status updates. One of the very first updates I wrote in 2009 was: Need to lose weight for medical reasons. I’m scared. I need company. I remember what a frightened, sorry state I was in. But I put it out there. I started this blog. And, as they say, the rest is history.

Boy, see what happens when you put it out there? Did I ever get company. I’m truly overwhelmed with gratitude for this year.

Anyway, speaking of The Big Cheese, his blog post for this week is really funny and yet REAL and true, and what makes WW work at its essence. Having a good time. Planning. Making choices. Being intentional about all of it. And not feeling remorse for indulging, when that indulgence is intentional. He really, truly walks the walk as well as talks the talk. I printed out and read this post at several of my meetings this week and not only did members laugh, I think they really GOT IT.

December 24, 2009 6

Workout With Boot, etc etc etc!

I went to my trainer this morning and told me, in a post-BL fervor, to kick my butt. He laughed. I showed him my boot and he was like, that’s no problem. So we did a workout that was very heavy on the arms (watch out Michelle Obama!) and other on-the-floor stuff. I did do some medicine ball twisting and pivoting from standing position, as well as some 3-lb barbell things that seemed to go on forever. Then, for a cardio portion, he had me lying on my back doing these bicycle moves. With the heavy boot on this was hard. But I felt like I was doing SOMEthing, you know? I wasn’t sweating as copiously as I do when I do a 5k run, but it was certainly way better than nothing.

This afternoon, my ankle was hurting more than yesterday. It worried me a little bit, so I took the boot off and iced it a while. That helped. Maybe when I go back on Friday I will do no standing whatsoever.

Today I got a bunch of training materials, including an online class I have to take, in preparation for my WW leader training in a few weeks. It’s a LOT of detail but I am excited to learn it. I also need to start following The Momentum Plan exactly (this is also a requirement) in the weeks leading up to the training. This is also a good thing, because I have been sort of winging it in my maintenance and I think I’m going to have to be more focused now that I’m using a lot fewer activity points. (ie burning fewer calories)

It is the perfect time for me to take up a new challenge, and what better than the Biggest Loser challenge? (see button on right) I decided to go ahead and join this. Here are the elements of the challenge:

1. Decide to do it!!! Follow the blog so we know who we should be supporting with comments and encouragement. (CHECK!)

2. Set some goals- make sure you set a least one non- scale related goal!

Lose 10 lbs (I am hoping I can do this in 15 weeks or however long the season is, it’s less than 1 lb/week)
Lose some inches (I will measure myself tomorrow) – I have no idea what is a reasonable amount. 10″ overall??
Be able to run another 5k IF my ankle allows (please please cross fingers for this)
Umm…. I have to think of some other ones.

3. Make a conscious effort to exercise every Tuesday!!! Double points if you workout during the show! (I will work out before the show, but not during – I’m too busy liveblogging!)

4. Weigh-in once a week. Whenever you choose. Tuesday (the day of Biggest Loser) are great!! (OKAY)

5. Take a picture of yourself and your measurements, post it on your blog if you want. (WILL DO. You can see the pic above, I know it isn’t very clear.)

6. Make sure to give your fellow challengers plenty of encouragement every day! (I can do that!)

7. At the end of the season take a final photo of yourself! (for our final reveal) OK

8. The “winner” will be the person who loses the highest percentage of body weight. (I know for sure I am not going to win this but I still think it will be good for me to participate. I am excited in fact)

I know I sorta pooped out on my last couple of challenges but I think this time of being, er, “differently-abled,” is a good time to really focus on the food things, to keep active and just stay in the game.

September 30, 2009 16

A Little Speedblogging

rice beans I haven’t been around here much but I wanted to do some catch-up blogging before tonight’s Biggest Loser. Why haven’t I been around? Because I’ve been teaching like CRAZY – a blog class (!) and then two writing classes, all of which are fantastic but which are taking up huge gobs of time.

But all is well. I’m exercising, going to Nia, running, weight lifting. I’ve gone to a lot of doctor appointments. Cardiologist and endocrinologist are both very very happy – my cholesterol is GREAT now that I am taking a bit of statin. Which I resisted mightily but has actually been fine. I am happy with that. My A1C (for those who know and care about such things) is 5.9 which made me happy even with all the prednisone I took in July.

Also been to OBGYN because even though I am 50 and allegedly menopausal, I have had the world’s most relentless periods. First every 3 weeks (too short) then every two weeks (huh?) then every week and now I have about 48 hours break before it all starts up again. It’s not good. Trying to get to the bottom of it. So, I feel like I’ve been getting my blood drawn every five minutes and it’s all good except for that one thing. Argh.

I wanted to do a big blog post about WW’s “Lose for Good” campaign which involves donating food to food banks etc. which corresponds with our weight loss. I went out and bought 31 lbs of rice and beans. I was going to ceremoniously wear it on my body to one of the WW Meetings, and then peel it off but after putting on about 12 lbs it was SO SO damn uncomfortable I couldn’t bear it. I actually couldn’t believe that I could barely haul that stuff around in a grocery bag. I piled it on the table. Can you see? It’s BIG. But not only did it show me the big pile of 31 lbs, but when I picked up the little one or two lb bags, those were not insignificant either. And it showed me, than when I am “up” 3-4 lbs, I can feel that bulk’s extra on me.

I’ve been continuing my birthday revelry, over one month past birthday. Today a friend took me to breakfast at this favorite spot. They have this mega decadent soft polenta with melted cheese. Which is like my favorite thing ever. Normally I would snarf down this big bowl and feel ILL but today I had three beautiful large spoonfuls and that was like heaven. Just enough. SO so good.

Dinner’s about to burn without me so I’m going to stop here but this is what I’ve been up to. Next, BL, in one hour!

September 22, 2009 4

Running Up That Hill

Had another NSV (nonscale victory) today. For the longest time (5+ years, ever sinc we have lived here) one of my biggest nemeses has been this HILL around the corner from my house. That hill lies between our home and this beautiful regional park where I love to walk/run. But the problem is that the HILL is extremely steep. And since it comes at the very beginning of my workout, I am often winded, stiff, and in pain as I do the worst part of my workout first. It used to make me so cranky and distraught that I would avoid working out altogether, because by the time I got to the top of the hill I would be in such a bad mood that basically the stress hormone in my body (cortisol) negated any endorphins I might enjoy.

That hill was seriously psyching me out. I used to tell my trainer, “If I could ONLY get to the point where that hill doesn’t kill me….” But after 3 years of training, the hill was still kicking my butt. Not one time went by when I didn’t have to stop halfway up, lean over with hands on knees, gasp, pant and swear a bit. It really felt bad. I wanted to be able to make it up the hill without feeling like I was dying halfway.

Sometime in February, I made a deal with myself that I would not put myself through the Agony of the hill, because I knew I was avoiding walking in the park because I hated the hill so much. I told myself it was OK to DRIVE the stupid 1/4 mile to the parking lot, get out and walk or run from there. So that I wouldn’t get myself all distraught by doing the hill first.

Well, so guess what happened today? You can guess! THE HILL DID NOT KILL ME! Sure, I was breathing harder than normal, but I kept up my fast rate, I didn’t stop, and I didn’t feel like utter crap by the time I got to the top. It was just what I had always hoped for.

Today, I told myself I was going to “take it easy” because I’d been doing very hard workouts this week. I ran three times, did a few killer gym workouts, and did 1000x hops on the spin bike. My arms were screaming from the many pushups and crab walks I did. I didn’t want to skip exercise altogether so I told myself, just walk in the park. It’ll be a … walk in the park! (LOL) I set off with my music and chugged up the hill. YAY.

I ran into a friend of mine I haven’t seen in a few months. She was running. She stopped and said many nice, shocked statements about my size and state of fitness. That was nice. (although I realize I am not exactly graceful at accepting compliments yet. I guess the appropriate response is probably a simple ‘thank you’)

I continued on. One of my “running songs” came on (“Heat Wave” by Linda Ronstadt) I couldn’t help it. I started running. I just ran until the song was over, then resumed walking. Then another “running song” came on (“Don’t Fear the Reaper” which is one of my favorites ever). I ran again. This happened 3 or 4 times and at one point, I was at this very steep hill (much like the one near my house) out on the trail. Normally I feel pretty macho if I just WALK fast up that thing. But I kept running. I was like, HOLY CRAP I AM RUNNING UP A HILL.

Remember that old Kate Bush song, “Running Up That Hill?” I used to love that song. Anyway, some of the lyrics go

“If I only could, I’d be running up that hill.
If I only could, I’d be running up that hill.”
And if I only could,
I’d make a deal with God,
And I’d get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could, oh…

And EVERY TIME I heard that song, I’d sort of sigh a little bit and think, *I* could never run up ANY freaking hill.

But look at me now.

June 20, 2009 6

Got Sweat?

It used to be (not so long ago, either!) that if I got a little pink in the face and had a thin film of sweat, I’d declare, “WOW that was a good workout!” But I wasn’t wild about big exertion. I only saw my trainer twice a week, and during the other days, I’d either walk (leisurely) or do nothing. I was fairly sweatophobic.

Now, I feel like a workout session just isn’t cutting it unless I have visible rivers of sweat running down my face and body, and unless I can see a color change in my clothing. THAT is different! And now, on my “days off” from my trainer I am either running with my penguin buddy (we call each other that because we used to run like penguins) or at the gym. If I take a walk, it’s “extra” and really for pleasure rather than considering it a workout.

Someone on Twitter recently mentioned that she didn’t want to intentionally sweat after sweating all day at work. I liked that phrase “intentional sweat.” I LOVE intentional sweat now!!!!! But I still really really hate “uninentional sweat” which comes from just standing around in hot, muggy weather. I grew up in NJ so I know about this. It’s MISERABLE.

ANyway, I read somewhere that once you start working out, you really have to keep upping the intensity level or your body just sort of stagnantes. As you get stronger, you just have to DO MORE. Back then, the idea absolutely terrified me (“I can barely do what I’m doing NOW, how can I do MORE? Aghh, get me off this train!”) but now it is exciting. It is making me believe that now that I’ve done a 5k, they will keep getting easier and faster, and that I WILL be able to get to a 10k or even a half marathon. RUNNING.

I had an incredible nonscale victory today. I’ve been going on and on about how I HATE spinning (stationary bike). It’s true, it’s the only exercise I’ve done that has made me want to puke. About 2 years ago, I worked up to a pretty high level but then we moved on to other things (trainer and me). I’ve never taken a group spinning class. I really don’t know how those things work, just how I do it with my trainer. Anyway, he had me doing these things that he calls “hops.” One hop basically = pedal 2x standing up, and on the 3rd pedal, sit down for a millisecond. Then up again.This is all done at very high resistance, so you have to push HARD to do one revolution. This is a lot harder than either perpetually standing or sitting, because it’s that up-down thing that is such an effort. I hated those freaking things. The first time I did them, I was heaving and gasping and really almost crying after I’d completed 25. I worked up to 4 sets of 25 for a total of 100.

I hadn’t done “hops” in YEARS when a few weeks ago he said, why don’t we try this. I immediately felt a sense of dread and anxiety. And it kicked my butt. I actually did cry then, because I felt like I’d come so far in my fitness, the running etc. and why could I not do these hops?? It nearly killed me to do 100, then a second 100, gasping out for mercy the last 30 or so.

So I was NOT HAPPY when I walked in and he said we were going to do the bike today. I thrashed around on the floor and whined and groaned (I can be quite dramatic when I feel like it). He was like, don’t worry, only 500. I was really upset. I dragged out the warmup for about 40 minutes. Then I got on the bike. He turned up the resistance. I started.

Um. It did not kick my butt. I kicked its butt. My trainer counts by going 1, 2, 3, 20, etc (going up) until the last ten, then he counts down when he reaches 90. 10, 9, 7… His plan was for me to do five sets of 100, with ample breathing and whining in between each set. But when he got to 90, I wasn’t even breathing hard. He was like, WOW, okay, keep going. I got to 150. I got to 200. I was still feeling pretty damn good. Happy little sweat rivers were coming down my neck. I got to 300. Then I stopped.

My trainer had tears in his eyes. He said, I have goosebumps, you crazy woman. I was so happy. I was not at all winded, but my feet hurt, so I thought I was a good time to stop. I said, “I don’t think you had the resistance high enough.” He looked at me funny. He cranked it up several turns. He said “OK, now go.” I cranked out the last 200 feeling like, I don’t know what. Chariots of Fire.

It. Was. Freaking. Awesome. And now I’ve been on an endorphin high all day.

I’m not afraid of anything anymore.

UPDATE ON 5/27/09: Did 700 straight without stopping. Heeeeeeeee!!!!!

May 22, 2009 13

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