lessons learned

Letting Go

Next week at this time, the Oakland marathon will be happening and I won’t be there. 😦

Sometimes we make plans and they just don’t work out, and it’s important to be able to let go gracefully. It’s not like I’m not going to be participating in athletic events next weekend: I’m still doing the Fight for Air StairClimb (still time to donate for a chance on a quilt!) and the Twilight 5k portion of the Oakland Running Festival.

What happened is that I was hoping that my family (me, Mr and 2 girls) would be able to run as a family team for the marathon relay. As it got closer it became apparent that a few of Mr. McBody’s orthopedic woes were not going to allow it. I’ve been looking and looking for a 4th person but it just didn’t pan out, until last Thursday. I went to sign us all up and BAM – it was sold out. SOLD OUT! I was so crushed. Incredulous really. Damn.

For a while I bandied about the idea of signing up for the half. But I think it’s crazy to even try and walk a half marathon with no training. I’ve been diligent about my 30-minute minimum of exercise for 22 days now (YAY #7daychip) but that has not included distance running. I think I could’ve probably pulled out the 7.5 miles, but not 13.1. Wah.

Part of me was mad at myself. Part of me felt really embarrassed. Part of me was soooooooo sad about not getting the gorgeous new Oakland marathon medal. But in the end I have to let it go. I have to remind myself of my own mantra: “Be mindful and don’t suffer.” To push myself through a half marathon would be a suffering thing, I can tell you. This just isn’t the time.

I am proud of the other goal I’ve been working toward this month, my Project Consistency. It’s been a very good thing for me. It would be different if I’d just been sitting on the couch eating ice cream all month, but that hasn’t been the case. I still have something to feel proud about.

I do want to do at least one or maybe two half marathons this year. The Las Vegas to be sure (so excited – running the LV strip AT NIGHT!), but maybe also the Disneyland Half in September. (Edited to add: SOLD OUT! DAMN!!!!!!!!) ~~It’s just going to take some planning.~~

Yeah, planning WAY AHEAD. Wow!

March 20, 2011 11

Update: Project Consistency

Less than a month ago, I made a decision that I was going to try and make exercise a more regular, consistent part of my life rather than just trying to jam it into the weekends. I made the decision that I was going to start working out a minimum of 30 minutes a day, come hell or high water.

The first week I was ON. I felt like I did not want to exercise after dinner and so I often ended up exercising DURING dinner, while everyone else ate. That worked okay, but I realized I did not want to eat separately from my family indefinitely. I was going to have to start something different. Reluctantly, I started working out much later at night – often starting close to 9:00pm or after. A few times, I ended up in bed, cold, tired and really wanting nothing more than to go to sleep. But then I started getting Tweets like this:

BradGansberg @foodiemcbody Just get on the darn ellipitical and get it over with. It only hurts before you get started. After it is all good. GO NOW

BradGansberg @foodiemcbody Go kick some ass.

gettinfitbritt @foodiemcbody you got this!!!

tjstestkitchen @foodiemcbody you go girl!

MY2Thrive @foodiemcbody you can do it! get up get up get up!!!

gettinfitbritt @foodiemcbody get up girl and shake yo booooootay!!!!! ❤#7daychip

AHealthyDad @foodiemcbody you’ve got this, we’re all here for you!! #7daychip

healthyem @foodiemcbody do it!!!!!! claim day 13!!!!!! come on, lady! #7daychip

Can you SEE? Can you see how motivating and irresistible it is when you have people like this in your ear, 24/7? No matter WHEN I wanted to whine and say “not today,” there was my healthy community, every day, nudging me on to health.

Today, I finished my 18th day of consistent, daily, at-least-30-minutes of exercise. Most often it was the garage elliptical, because it involved no commuting. And it showed me that no matter how little time I think I have, I always have 30 minutes.

One night, I started using streaming Netflix movies on my iPhone to get through the workout. And a few times I went on for 65, 69 and once even 99 minutes. Because I couldn’t tear myself away.

I watched FatHead. Which everyone HAS TO GO WATCH and then come back and discuss with me!

Then I watched DisFIGURED. Which is hands down one of the most emotionally INTENSE movies I have ever seen. Everyone please GO WATCH and then come back and discuss with me!

The last time I started watching a movie, it was so moving and powerful I stopped after 30 minutes then started it up again on the laptop so I could watch “Which Way Home” with Mr. McBody. SO SAD but so… just wow. (yeah, go watch it too!)

It feels like it’s falling into place now. I’m learning – I’m teaching MYSELF – that there is truly no such thing as “not enough time.”

After this post, I decided to start a second #7daychip devoted to improving my blood glucose. One, by testing my blood more often (minimum 2-3x per day) and two, by taking added sugar out of my life. I had been slipping in the candy-drawer arena, and I knew I was just eating “a little something sweet” just a bit too often. It was showing up in much higher BG numbers which I hadn’t really realized since I’d slacked on testing as well.

So now I’m on day 10 of regular blood glucose testing and no sugar. This has not been easy. But it’s been do-able. I am doing it. I can do it. I just put a barrier down between myself and sugar. I say, “This is not for me (for now).” I can’t say Forever, but I say for now. In some ways it’s easier than just eating a “little bit.”

One thing that is helping so much is that in addition to the whole #7daychip “family,” I also have buddies who started their goals on the same day as me. Terri is my 30-minute-exercise buddy (she has her own goal). We greet each other day and encourage each other to add another day to our chip. Often she reminds me what “day” it is. (because it’s easy to lose track!) Jerakah is my blood glucose/no sugar buddy. We are on Day 10 and we are unstoppable.

#30Day Chip, I’m coming for you.

March 16, 2011 8

A #7DayChip is Better Than a Chocolate Chip

I circled around the idea of the #7daychip challenge for a long time, maybe a month, before jumping in. First, there was that association with AA. Personally, I tried OA a long time ago and 12 step programs just do not work for me. (although I acknowledge that they do work for millions of other people!) I was leery of using a tool that has long been utilized by alcoholics and addicts. For one thing, it’s a lot more straightforward for them. They stay away from alcohol or drugs. (I said straightforward, not EASY) For people dealing with food or health or fitness issues, it’s a lot more complicated. We can’t just STAY AWAY from food. Unless we want to, like, die.

Then there’s the issue of staying away from a particular food. This has always been an unsavory idea for me. I am not a vegetarian or vegan. I am not at all a fan of eliminating entire categories of any food from my repertoire. (more on that later)

Anyway, I watched lots of people getting their beautiful 7-and-30 day chips from Mr. Brad Gansberg and I started getting more curious and maybe a little envious. And y’all know I was kind of struggling.

So 13 days ago, I made the decision to chipify (<<<my word!) my goal of getting at least 30 minutes of exercise in per day. I can’t even describe how it has felt to do this. I had told myself I was “too busy” and “too stressed” to exercise, and was jamming it all in on the weekends. That wasn’t working so well.

The first week, I started by exercising when I got home in the evening, which meant WHILE my family was eating dinner. I felt like, if I waited till after dinner, I was sunk. It was good in that it got me into the groove. It was bad in that I never saw my family. But on Friday I earned this:

How awesome was that!! I am such a sucker for rewards like this, just like I loved getting stickers and doodads from Weight Watchers. It might be “just” a little star sticker but it is an emblem of a real success. This #7day chip acknowledgement was huge!!

After I realized I had gotten kinda slippy with my diabetes, I decided to start myself on a second chip challenge. On Sunday I decided to start testing my blood regularly again and to lay off the sugar. (not including fruit) It’s amazing how I thought, “oh well, my diabetes is just progressing. I’m just getting worse and this is one of those inevitable things.” Um, NOT. Within a couple of days my levels went right back to normal.

This chip has not been so easy. I keep “forgetting.” In fact the other night I had an epic forget. It was after dinner, when I often like to have something sweet. I’d gotten into the habit of having a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich or a Weight Watchers bar. I noticed an almost-empy bag of chocolate chips on the counter. I scooped a few into my palm and popped them into my mouth, thinking, oh, this is probably only 1-2 points worth. And then I remembered!

I ran right over to the trash and spit out all the chips. It was such a moment. I did not want those chips to be ruining my chip, you know? I felt such a sense of relief when they were out of my mouth.

So now I am on Day 13 of the 30-minute-exercise chip, and on day 6 of the No-Sugar chip. I feel a billion percent better. I can’t even describe

Will I never eat sugar again? Well, I’m thinking about what my endocrinologist told me last year. She said that if my blood levels were in good control most of the time, then a little brownie now and then (ie maybe once ever week or two) would be OK. But that’s the key. So I am going to go for 30 days and then re-assess the whole thing.

For anybody out there who wants to accomplish a goal of any kind, I so strongly recommend trying the #7daychip. The support is unparalleled really, the community is amazing, and just taking it like that – yeah, one day at a time – really works.

March 10, 2011 9

Project Consistency

This 2011 has not, thus far, been a stellar year for consistency. First there was the Long Bad Cold. Then there was the Stressful, Horrible, No-Good February. By the end of last month I was fast becoming a weekend athlete, meaning NOTHING was happening at all during the week, and I was trying to cram in ridiculous marathon sessions of exercise on the weekends. It felt very unbalanced and bad. Finally at the end of last week, which was really a peak of stress and misery, I looked at myself and realized that I was going 5-6 days or more between workouts. And I was feeling it.

At the very same time, I happened upon this brief little video of wisdomness from one of my favorite online buddies EVER, MizFit (aka Carla Birnberg). She spoke some big truth about “no more fits and starts” and I could not stop thinking about it. In other words, consistency is KEY to long term success. The absolute key. And I realized how extremely inconsistent I was getting. Here’s the video so you can see for yourself above. (it’s SUPER SHORT! and to the point)

The next thing that happened is that I was seeing people getting their #7day chips from the awesome Brad Gansberg. Brad is relatively new to the health/fitness blogging community but he has been making a HUGE difference in so many peoples’ lives already, by encouraging them and giving them big kudos for making their goals either 7 or 30 days straight. It is amazing how motivating this has been to so many. I’ve been mulling over the many various things I could “chip” about, and which ones were I willing to commit to and try to accomplish for 7 or 30 or more days in a row? (believe me there are many options I could choose from!)

Then I took a look at the charts from my DirectLife activity monitor. I did not like what I saw; ie weekdays that were barely little blips of light green shag carpet, not even CLOSE to my daily activity goals, followed by huge peaks on the weekends, like 160% of goal. It just wasn’t what I wanted to be doing.

The MizFit video about fits and starts, the visual reminder from my DirectLife reports and then the #7day chip all came together. I decided that I would try to chip together a week’s worth of at least 30 minutes of exercise. I think I had gotten myself into the mindset of believing that I HAD to work out for an hour or more. But often, if I was going to work out an hour, and add transportation and a shower, it could be a 2 hour chunk of time that I just don’t have right now. So I’d do without and that SUCKED.

I decided to commit to 30 minutes a day. I started 5 days ago. And every day since then I have climbed onto the (until now mostly used by Mr. McBody only) elliptical machine in our garage, put in my earbuds, set the iPod on shuffle and GONE. It’s been amazing – some days it’s been a virtual stroll and other days like this morning I really kicked it. Once I got all carried away and went for an hour. But every time it made SUCH a difference in how I felt. I’m going for that 7 day chip!! I want one!

This was a really important lesson to learn. That a little something is so much better than a lot of nothing. My thanks go out to MizFitOnline, Brad Gansberg and DirectLife for the nudgy reminders.

March 3, 2011 12

First Race of 2011!

Yesterday I ran my first race event of 2011. It was really a test – to see if I had it in me. And man, I had my doubts. After being sick for most of the new Year, I could feel my strength and mojo ebbing away from me. I orginally had signed up for a 10k but then downgraded it to a 5k – this just seven weeks after doing a half marathon!!

I was nervous, no doubt. But I’d signed up and I was determined to do it. I had my great sister-in-fitness Lisa Marie with me, and I also got to meet health Tweeter @Faby_Gonzalez who told me about the race in the first place.

This was going to be a small race (150 people as opposed to 30,000 in Las Vegas!). Which meant that most of them were probably going to be really fast runners. This seems to be the trend at small runs. Anyway, we drove out there and it was beautiful – easy parking (this was a HUGE stresser at the Redwood run I did last year – I got there, the lot was full and I had to park a mile away and RUN to the start line! Ack!) and just a nice, friendly vibe. They had “pep talks” for the 10k and 5k runners both. There were massage tables and food tables and it was just nice.

It was pretty chilly when we got out of the car (East coast people, don’t laugh! or throw stuff) Lisa Marie and I warmed up by doing lunges across the parking lot just like we do at the trainers. It turned out to be a perfect way to warm up.

The 10K pack took off (I was glad I was not with them). Then for the next 10 minutes I powerwalk/jogged around the parking lot in an attempt to REALLY warm up so I’d be ready to run at the start. The peptalk guy mentioned something about the first part being uphill. WHAT? I had not noticed this. I really, really dislike running uphill. Especially at the beginning! But what could I do about it? Not much. Ready, set, RUN!

We took off. I tried to remember my mantra of staying at my own pace and tried not to notice all the people passing me right at the beginning. And then of course it started climbing up hill. And up and up. I was panting. It was really hard! I tried to take small steps, but still I was not ready for that. I tried to just focus and run slow and keep going. A bunch of people around me fell back to walking but I really felt like I wanted to keep running. I felt like I was running really slow.

Then my RunKeeper (on phone) spoke up. “Five minutes. X-tenths of a mile. Pace 12:30.” I was like, Whaaaaaaaa? I’m running 12:30 uphill? I know this is glacial for many of you, but I gotta say, I’ve been running an average of 15:00 pace for the last six months or so. The half marathon was pretty much at a 15:00, which was an average of 13-14 running and 16-18 walking. So this shocked me. Um, no wonder I was winded!!

A note on gadgets: I brought the (dreaded) Garmin in the car and tried once again to decipher the little manual while I waited for LM to get ready. It just frustrated me. I have the feeling this thing is going to be going up for sale soon. I just don’t like it. On the other hand, RunKeeper Plus (the deluxe version) is FREE on iTunes until TOMORROW!!!!! and man, it is even better than the RunKeeper free. I just love it. So I think that’s gonna be my device for the time being.

So we got to the 1-mile marker and I was still not feeling very comfortable. It was still an uphill climb which I was getting tired of. But what could I do? I am used to having orthopedic issues but I have not been out of breath running in a very long time. I kept going.

The thing about a 5k is, no matter what, it goes by pretty fast. We got to the turnaround (it was an out-and-back course) and that made me pretty happy because it meant… yeah! DOWNHILL!

Yeah I was happy. As bad as it feels to run uphill it feels great to run down (unless it is super steep, then it sucks). But this was pretty much a rolling hill and it was just like… wheee! Then it got fun. I passed the 2 mile and then it was on cruise. The finish line was there before I knew it (wheeeeeeeee, downhill!). I was so happy!

This little race was the bomb. Not only did they give us cute little finishers’ medals, they also had the BEST FOOD! Hot pasta, Caesar salad, fruit, what??????? I couldn’t believe it. All for free. And free massages. And just a nice happy vibe. I got to see LM thru the finish line (YAY) then we got our medals and food. She had had some breathing issues on the course too, but she finished strong and I was so happy we were there!!

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This event was really important for me. It truly felt like my “comeback” event after feeling so sick and out of it. LM asked me if I had any goals before we started and I said, “One, I want to finish, and Two, I want to make friends with running again.” Both accomplished! I was really amazed at my time (true penguin time, but for me, it was like cheetah time!). When I got home and studied my RunKeeper stats, I was sort of amazed to see that I’d kept that pace pretty much steady no matter if I was going up or downhill. Which was very surprising to me. But good! It made me feel good.

I’m not sure if I will be able to do an event in February but this got me very pumped for my BIG WEEKEND in March: StairClimb, 5k AND Oakland Running Festival! (probably Team Relay, which is cool by me) I’m ba—ack!

January 30, 2011 16

If It’s Physical, It’s Therapy

This is the shirt that we physical therapy students wore back when I was an undergraduate. It was sort of meant to elicit snickers like, heh heh, physical, heh heh. Back in the Olivia Newton-John “let’s get physical” days. But I’ve been thinking about this shirt, and that saying, and my long-abandoned career that I only recently dusted off and removed from the mothballs.

I graduated with a physical therapy degree in 1982. When I had my first child in 1990, I turned to other things, mostly nonprofit work, then writing, then teaching writing. And even though I renewed my license every few years, I pretty much thought of it as something I had done once but never would again.

I went back to doing PT work this past April. It’s been tough – the learning curve of learning brand new skills as well as dredging up information I’d packed away in the deepest recesses of my brain has tested me like nothing else. It’s been a very hard road, but I have not wanted to give up because I have been hoping, that with time, it would get easier.

After six months, I think I can say that going to work is not the intense stress that it was during the first couple of months. I am more relaxed now, although with moments of anxiety that I don’t know enough, or can’t do it right. It’s beginning to feel smoother. I’m going to be attending a professional course in February that I am actually looking forward to.

But it occurred to me recently, like a bolt of lightning, that another (of many factors) reason that I stayed away from this profession for 18 years (!!) was that I felt unworthy of it, physically. If I was overweight and inactive, who was I to help or counsel others regarding their physical issues?

Maybe it’s no coincidence that even when I was practicing, decades ago, I most often worked with the most severely disabled or the very oldest (or youngest) people around. I helped people who needed to learn how to hold up their heads, or sit for 10 seconds at the side of a bed, or take ONE STEP. I remember feeling a sort of disdain for athletic trainers (and their patients) and thinking that that was a stupid use of professional skills and that athletes did not need or deserve any help, when there were so many people who couldn’t walk or stand up without help.

Ah, the arrogance of youth. But I also think there was something else going on. I was intimidated by athletes and athletic trainers. They made me feel lumpy and inadequate.

I realize now that for the first time in decades, I feel worthy of practicing as a physical therapist again, and as I am beefing up my brain-skills, the same is true for my physical skills. This week I was doing something called a POET evaluation – a post-offer employment test, which is something that employers are now requiring of some heavy duty physical jobs. These people are offered employment, but they are dependent on passing a set of physical tests to see that they can physically DO the jobs without getting injured. I have been trained to administer these tests using this ginormous machine and computer system. One of the tests involves lifting a crate up to a shelf with 10 to 60 pound weights. After every 10 lb crate is lifted, I have to add another 10 or 20 lbs to it. I also have to lift this 45-lb steel bar on and off the Big Machine and add attachments to it for various pushing and pulling tests.

On Friday, I noticed that my shoulders and upper back were aching like I’d done a serious workout. Then I remembered I’d done this POET test. It HAD been a serious workout! I do not think I could have easily done this 20 years ago.

This whole thing is such a big deal for me. I ran away from this profession for so many years because I never felt good enough, intellectually OR physically. But I’m learning now that maybe it’s not too late.

December 12, 2010 11

There Is Such A Thing as Too Much Support

I was soooooo worried about my feet during the half marathon that I went a little overboard at the race expo. My right foot and ankle have been bothering me for a really long time. But I was worried about my “good” left foot somehow inexplicably giving out on me, and so I bought this ankle wrap sold by some overzealous vendor at the Expo. And I got it wrapped by the KTT tape folks. AND I wore special sports compression socks.

My foot started aching during the first mile and by the time I got to mile 11, it was excruciatingly painful. I loosened up the Velco straps but it really didn’t do the trick. Last night, the first night I didn’t take Aleve, it started acting up again. It was realllly tender on the outside and felt swollen. I started to freak out and think I had maybe gotten a compression fracture. I started thinking, if I broke my foot, Everyone is going to say, “You shouldn’t be running! You broke your foot!” I started spiralling into this crazy defiant place and feeling like my victory was going to be snatched away by some embarrassing injury.

Luckily, the stars aligned and at the same time that one of my own work appointments no-showed, my podiatrist had a last-minute opening in his schedule. I went over there, with visions of cast boots and crutches in my head. AGH.

But he took a look at it and immediately diagnosed that I’d brought a case of tendinitis upon myself, by compressing my foot into this tight sleeve, and then as it swelled up more and more from activity and pressure and miles upon miles, the tendon was totally raw and irritated. Voila. I DID THIS.

The good news is that I can undo it with some ice and Ibuprofen. I didn’t break anything and I can keep running, after I rest it up and let the tendon calm down.

But it is yet one more lesson I learned from this marathon: do what you can to support your body, but don’t go overboard with stuff you have never used and don’t understand.

December 8, 2010 6

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