And I can really feel the effect of my body slowly turning to mush. Amazing how quickly these things can change. And once again I have this slightly phobic feeling about exercise… will it hurt? Will it be too hard? Will I feel inadequate and discouraged? Yeah, that’s where my mind goes. That’s where it used to go ALL THE TIME in the past, allowing me to put off working out for months, sometimes even years. Fear.
When really I know how much better it makes me feel. And yet there is a big part of me that just feels afraid. How wacko is that. I don’t really understand it, but there you go.
I miss the way I feel when I’m working out a lot (the endorphins) but right now I’m not missing doing it, the way I do when I miss a day or two. I’ve passed that point. And so now I need to give myself a big heave-ho to get back up there again.
Yup, these were the two things I was afraid of: illness and injury. I’d say illness is worse because it totally took away my desire and turned it to fear. When I was injured, I still really wanted to work out and so I found my way around it.
Being sick sucks.